She's Not Interested, So Why Does She Give Out Her Number?

[Frank2500]

If there's one more thing that I just don't get with many young American women, it is why they would bother giving out their numbers to guys who for reasons best known to them, they don't feel interested in or attracted to. For me personally, I'd rather prefer that a woman lie that she has a boyfriend or be bluntly honest from the get go so that I don't waste my time and can move on immediately to the next woman. I'm not interested in being put into the friends zone and I don't want to hear that "I didn't want to hurt his feelings crap." Now, I understand many American women enjoy the power of being pursued by men who they know from the get go would never get called back and that they also enjoy the thrill of the chase, but for goodness sake...you can't keep messing around with people's emotions like this.


I recently talked to a woman at my gym this Monday. I felt we connected, I did a bit of ****y and funny and I got her smiling and laughing most of the time. She gave me her phone number and I called her yesterday evening around 6 p.m. and left her a message with mine and tried to see if we could get together this weekend. I had made it clear to her when we talked that I would like to take her out. When I called, her cell phone was off. I'm already not expecting her to call me back at this point, since it's already the evening of the next day. And if I don't hear from her, I think it would probably be right for me not to call her again and move on. I'm starting to conclude gyms are just as superficial and shallow as night clubs and that most women who go there frequently aren't very intellectual at all and can't hold intelligent conversations with men for too long. Now, this woman in question already seemed to have been noticed by most guys at my gym. I didn't even notice her presence until another black guy working out next to me said: "Damn, look at that blonde white chick over there with an ass as huge as that of a black woman." She was wearing spandex. Of course, the black male trainers noticed her as well and before I talked to her, I saw one of them making a comment to her and she smiled at him and laughed. If someone else talked to her and she decided that she'd be receptive to him and toss me aside, it's all good, it's her life and it's her decision. I'm just tired of all these superficial games.


At this point in my life, I can definitely relate to many of the so-called nice guys who've been repeatedly burned and heart broken. It's so ironic that these same kind of women start looking for men with the so-called nice guy traits when they've been used, are damaged goods and tired, and supposedly want to settle down. With all the books out there that American women have written about men being jerks, it's more than about time for more men to write about such experiences in the publishing industry as well. It's really shameful. I never would have imagined that perhaps the most positive relationship I might end up having will be with a woman who has three kids. Those of you who read my last post here might remember I mentioned that I met a woman at a local mall about three weeks ago. I strongly believe that I can do much better than a woman who already has three kids, but it's quite unfortunate that this may end up being the first relationship I have with a woman in this country. And yet I appreciate her a lot because she's willing to travel by bus and train all the way from where she lives just to hang out with me in Philly despite her commitments at home, although many times I doubt if she would have been text messaging me and contacting me as often as she does if she didn't have three kids and perceive me to be one of the few men who was willing to stick around with her despite finding out that information. Anyway, I might as well give her a chance. I'm amazed at the shallowness of many women in this country.

 

[Obsidian]

You might not want to bail on the gym after just one flake. The girls there may be more shallow than average, but I'm not necessarily convinced that they are.

This story should simply prove to you the importance of spinning multiple plates. No matter how much interest a girl seems to show in you, it might just turn out to be bullsh*t so you have to keep about a dozen back-up girls just in case.

Sorry to hear that you're feeling down. It's not easy being a man, especially in today's world, but you just gotta keep toughening up.

 

[COD]

Why Do Chics Hand Out Numbers

Okay you gotta appreciate a hot chic who gets hit on all the time.

Women give out their phone numbers for various reasons; 1) she is generally interested in talking with you further, 2) she adores all the attention when men are hitting on her (BOREDOM)-odds are she may not go on a date with you, 3) to get rid of you-she was being polite and got swept away in the moment-slim chance you will ever get a date. The last one has some variations; gives you the wrong number, gives you a phony number, never answers her phone if she knows it’s you, you always get the machine,etc.

If you are fortunate enough to find someone that is in the first category then you are way ahead of the game. If you get the machine with this one, leave one message (ask a question, so she has to call you back & don’t forget to leave your #). If she calls you back immediately, you can joke around about her screening her calls. If she calls back later or the next day keep the conversation lighthearted and hint at a date. Be sure to keep conversation down to a minimum as to avoid saying something lame. The longer you converse the more stuff you will reveal.

Remember women expect the man to call, they know you will call them back if you don’t reach them. They know you will leave a message, they don’t return calls as frequent as men. Women also change their minds, are hit on all the time, get better offers, and chicken out too. Don’t take it personal, just learn how to spot the red flags next time, and move on. I GOT TONS OF PHONE #’S FROM CHICS……..Do u know how many led to sex……..VERY FEW. Lots of work involved and some are not that appealing. Move on and concentrate on chics that are sincere.

 

[Obsidian]

also, Deangelo recommends getting emails instead of phone #s (supposedly because it's less intimidating, I think). You might give that a shot.

 

[Hitman10000]

also, Deangelo recommends getting emails instead of phone #s (supposedly because it's less intimidating, I think). You might give that a shot.

David is not the grandmaster pimp. Gay guys give great romantic advice, but it doesn't mean they go out and date a whole variety of chicks, HUH? It makes a lot of f*cking common sense in regards to interest. A woman who is truly interested will give you her number plus she will make time for you. If the woman is truly busy or whatever - don't worry, even being friends is alright too.

I concur with COD as well. I get numbers all the time too, if you're average looking like myself you got a 50/50 chance of landing a date, and possibly 25% chance from those pool of dates you will get laid. That's almost 15% chance! So if you gamble all that money on that ONE person for that ONE number...man oh man just remember, 15% chance. You'd have better chances playing those lotto scratchers.

In regards to personal relationships...finding GOOD friends is a lot harder than finding a girlfriend. THere's a difference between good friend and a friend, you will know the difference.

 

[lookyoung]

Hitman I agree with what you have to say. To the original poster- don't let flaking get you down. Every guy gets flaked on. Girls give out there number for the attention. For example if I go clubbing and get seven numbers I will convert 1-2 on dates. And probably one will turn into a fvck.


Don't let flaking get you down. Its part of the game. Woman love attention. Keep at it and for the 6 girls that flake, there will be one where u will bang.


GOOD LUCK

LOOKYOUNG

 

[Frank2500]

Re: Thanks a Lot for Your Encouragement, Guys

Guys, I just want to thank each of you who've responded for your encouragement. I've been going through a lot of this flaking and have been meeting shallow women now for at least 11 straight years here in the U.S. It's quite funny when it comes to the reasons why many women who fit the shallow category reject men. I was raised to be humble and I'm not one to blow my own trumpet, but at least in terms of looks, I've been called "cute" and "you're very handsome" by many women ranging in age from their 20s to
30s.



And sure, I have made my own share of mistakes as well in the sense that a couple years ago, I met two women who would have been the perfect mates for me, but the timing was just off. School work was killing me and I wasn't ready for a relationship. I lost them. So recently, when a woman asked me to also consider the possibility that perhaps some of the women I have met might have been intimidated by my what she perceives to be my good looks, it was news to me. That as a guy, you get rejected for "being too good looking" and for "not being good looking enough."



Going back to this recent woman at my gym, I took a chance and called her again last night. Once more, her cell phone was off and it went straignt to her voicemail. Then guess what. Just as I had thought, I saw her at the gym this morning working out with a female personal trainer. I didn't even waste my time. I paid no attention to her, I got my work out done, and I was out of there. I know she saw me, but who cares anyway? I'm moving on.



I just want to say to the guys on this forum and to American men in general that I respect you guys a lot, because dating in this country is so superficial and many times finding a good woman is like looking for a needle in a hay stack. It's amazing to see all the b.s. that many men in this country have to go through and put up with when it comes to dating. And my heart does go out to the so-called nice guys and men who've been burned a whole lot in the dating game. I know how painful it must be for example, for a man who's been turned down through much of his college life when it comes to dating for not being "exciting enough" or "thug enough," only to see these same women flocking toward him like sheep when they get older and are tired of messing around and have had their fun with their so-called bad boys. I personally would never give such women a chance.



I've met several women who treated me that way back in the day but who look at me entirely differently now after all these years. They see that I have improved physically (muscular build), that I don't give them the time of day because I now know what they are about and strongly believe that I deserve better. I see regret in a lot of their eyes, and most of them don't even have the guts to step up and try talking to me. Anyway, I'll do my best to keep hope alive that there's a good woman out there for me somewhere. Thanks again, guys.

 

[Frank2500]

The Problem with Getting Emails

I forgot to add this observation to my reply. It's been my experience that if a woman already knows for sure that she's not gonna talk to you, asking her for her email only makes it easier for her to proceed with her game plan because she certainly isn't going to respond. She'll just keep ignoring your emails. I mean, if she's not taking your calls, why would emails make it seem any different? Also, for some women in this country, (I'm not saying all) when a guy asks for an email instead of their phone number, they perceive him as weak, a wimp. That could actually work against the guy. I've had a few experiences where women have offered me their emails instead upon first meeting me because they didn't know me very well. As I kept in touch with them via email for a little while, they gave me their phone numbers. But those have so far seemed to be an exception to the rule.

 

[Bonhomme]

Perhaps she was interested when she gave out the number, but her interest dropped when she had a chance to think about it a bit. She might be attracted to you in person, but you might not meet the relationship criteria she's looking for in a man (income, age, career, yada yada). This is especially likely to happen often if you have really good physical game (kino, etc).

That's why striking while the iron is hot is often a good idea if your physical game is your strong suit.

 

[Bonhomme]

I'm not a fan of emails. Usually a woman gives you her email if she wants to get rid of you with the least amount of discomfort.

 

[Frank2500]

Re:

Exactly, Bonhomme. That's my stance as well with the whole email thing when it comes to women. You mentioned age as perhaps one of the criteria that this woman in question might have felt I didn't meet. I guess unless she's looking for someone her age and below. I'm 29 years old now, but many people who see me tell me they think I'm between 23-26. Anyway, it's her loss, not mine. Some of these women are truly amazing.

 

[christz]

see recently i've started going to the gym because i've maxed out on my machines at home, and don't really want to splurge to get free weights so the gym seems like the cheeper option.

and good lord never have i recived so much eye contact from women in my life, now i dunno if they're just lookin at the new people coming in but it seems whenever i walk to and from machine or the water fountian i get eyed up like a mofo.

i haven't sarged yet because i feel outta place still but.. man if eye contact being the signal of attraction let me tell you i got lots of women to work on