She's lost interest cos I was pushy.

[pete101]

I number closed this hot HB last friday in my class building, however i stayed too long after the number close so may have lowered her interest.

she won't commit to a time to meet (girls from her nationality seem to do this a lot) she's russian, and the other girls i've been out with are so spoilt they only want to decide on the day what they're doing.

i know obviously that if you have done really really well she should be excited to see u above all else but im not at that stage yet of game or know how to get to that level.

i called her monday, she didnt pick up nor call me back, when i saw her on tuesday as she passed by i went straight into time closing for a date rather than increasing her interest again. stupid i know.

i was in a p1ssy mood, so told her that let's meet the next day at 8pm cos i was busy the day after.. she keeps giving me the 'oh i'll write u a message if im free'

i go 'well lets say a time now cos im a busy guy i got things to do people to see so do u what time do u normally finish whatever you're doing?'

she goes 'i duno 8 usually. but if u have something to do then do that and we'll meet next time.' so i go 'ok lets meet at 8.30pm' she goes 'i'll write u a message if im free'

i duno how her interest plummeted so much.

it really p1sses me off these russian girls always same the same sh1t even if they interested.. but cos i was pestering her to committ for a time it turned her off i guess.

i knew full well she wasn't going to write me a message and even if she did i wasn't going to accept a time.

is it ok to say 'well im going to be busy when u write me a message.'?

i cant get them to commit to a time so i seem pushy.. is the best thing to do is offer a time, if she says 'i'll write u a msg if im free' should i just say 'no i'll be busy then.' and see what she says?

i still haven't been able to perfect this.

anyway now she's ignoring me as i walk by her, maybe cos it seems im too desperate. is it pretty much over?

there was high interest initially.

 

[mothballs]

Ignore her too... she's either messing with your mind or actually not interested any more.

This is my method, though not very tested it's been successful... The first thing I do when I get a number, while she's still there with me is to get a general idea of when she's available to receive a phone call, just to find out if she's free weeknights or what... I don't nail down a time I'll call her, but generally do so in 2-3 days. When I first call her and get ahold of her I ask her if she'd like to meet me at such and such location at a certain time... if she says she's busy I will ask her when she isn't and then tell her a time in that window. If she still won't agree on a time there's no point in continuing to push it... I'll move on.

It sounds like this one really didn't want to work with you and though you might have been able to use more tact, you're right that if she was interested she'd have been excited to see you and would have made an effort to be free... and it's not always your fault that that excitement wasn't there. Just chalk it up to experience and get on with your life IMO.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Maybe she was never interested in the first place, even if she gave you her number. That's why nobody should get their hopes up if they get a number since all it could mean is a delayed rejection.

Lots of people, like ElStud, have a number collection of women who never answer the phone or return calls. Even if a woman is totally into you she may meet another guy, or just get cold feet about the whole thing.

 

[slaog]

She has lost interest. She saw your AFC side coming out and didn't like it. You basically had an argument over which time to meet!!


As you said yourself, you're being far too pushy. Take your time Pete. Whats the rush? You're supposed to be busy and have plenty of things to do.


Tell her a time which suits you and then see if she can make it. If not then say no worries we'll meet next week or whatever. Never force somebody to meet. Be confident when making arrangements and take your time. By pushing her you're telling her that you're desperate to meet. Thats not a good impression to give.

 

[Kevin Feng]

I think you shot yourself in the foot with this one.

You killed yourself in the B phase ( Buying Temperature ) in the ABC's of Attraction model. You had her buying temperature high enough from the get go, whether it be physical attraction or whatever it was and then after that you did something to kill the interest.

The best advice I got from Asian Playboy in this situation was to lead the interactions. Remember, one of the big attraction switches is "leader of men", you want to convey to her that you're a leader. So go ahead and set the date up.

Don't even ask, just say "here, tell you what, let's meet on saturday for xzy date" and if it doesn't work for her, suggest another time that works for YOUR schedule.

-Kevin

 

[pete101]

She has lost interest. She saw your AFC side coming out and didn't like it. You basically had an argument over which time to meet!!


As you said yourself, you're being far too pushy. Take your time Pete. Whats the rush? You're supposed to be busy and have plenty of things to do.


Tell her a time which suits you and then see if she can make it. If not then say no worries we'll meet next week or whatever. Never force somebody to meet. Be confident when making arrangements and take your time. By pushing her you're telling her that you're desperate to meet. Thats not a good impression to give.

you speak the absolute truth, cos this was exactly what i was thinking what went wrong..

i think i got annoyed cos so many girls keep doing this, i no. close then straight after i time close for a date..

they never commit to a time, also btw they're usually russian girls who are notoriously known for having bad manners and being spoilt cos they're used to men doing anything/everything for them.

i must have come across as desperate to meet definitely.

but if the convo goes straight after the no. close as 'so lets meet up this weekend, i'm busy tonight but i can meet tomorrow evening at 8pm, hows then?'

she'll be like 'oh well i have to do this and this tomorrow and i dont know what time i'll finish.. i'll write u a message if i can meet.'

see, i get annoyed with these answers, should my response be 'cool' then walk away almost disinterested and make her see this cos it might help me in the long run?

or should i be like 'well let me know now otherwise i'll be busy cos i got things to do people to see etc..'?

if i do say the 1 above she'll be like 'well go do whatever u have to do we'll just meet next time..'

this frustrates me cos she won't/still hasn't given me a definite time. what should my response be to this..?

i think my problem is i dont walk away soon enough after an answer i disapprove of..

 

[pete101]

but anyway what's done is done in this situation, i came across afc desperate, if i just ignore her every time i pass by her for the next week or so will she think either a)he's angry cos im not interested anymore or didn't write him a message to meet up and is bitter. or b)he's not interested anymore?

cos i cant come across as not pursuing her anymore unless i just dont even acknowledge her existence.. she's smart she'll just blank me and not even say hi, so i guess i should do the same thing however that's showing anger emotion making her think you're just being bitter rather than her thinking 'oh my god he's blanking me so not interested anymore..' it requires her to come up to u to talk and u walking away from the interaction to show her that you're not interested anymore.. however THEY NEVER EVER DO THIS even if they had interest initially cos they just see you as a pest now.

however what's so frustrating is that everytime something like this happens i know that if i just had like 5mins with them to charm them as i first did and they'd listen i'd have IL up again.. however once she thinks you're afc desperate she won't stop to talk and even if she does she'll be in the mindset she needs to get away.. it's lose lose.

has anyone managed to turn something like this around cos i imagine this is something a lot of guys may have suffered from at 1 point in time?

 

[pete101]

Tell her a time which suits you and then see if she can make it. If not then say no worries we'll meet next week or whatever. Never force somebody to meet. Be confident when making arrangements and take your time. By pushing her you're telling her that you're desperate to meet. Thats not a good impression to give.

if i tell her a time and if she says 'i'll write you a message if im free..' should i just be like 'cool'?

cos i just assume they never will (i think it stems from back in the day when i used to be like 'yeah' and they never did that i somewhat as you say try to push them into a time.. i feel like they're just being flakey spoilt little girls but you say regardless of that you should still just let it slide?

i assume i should the week after try again in person if she still doesn't commit to a time or tells me 'i'll write you a message..' should i just say 'no i'll be busy then.' and wait for them to respond?

 

[playerone]

Other than what the other posters said, it could be that you have not built enough rapport with her prior to setting up a date. You should text her a little, talk to her on the phone a little, phone-game her for a good 2-3 days, then set a date. It'll greatly reduce the chances of her flaking.

Field-tested, guaranteed if you don't wuss out or turn her off during the process. If you do, delete her number, move on to the next girl. And when she texts you again, go "Who's this?".

 

[Teej]

Since she said she'd write you a message I'll assume you can message her somehow too.
Message her one day and go "let's go out tomorrow evening" or whatever. If she gives you some crap about not knowing if she'll be available tell her to let you know when she figures it out. If she doesn't then repeat the first part a few days later and if she gives you crap again confront her directly like "Listen sweetheart I'm a busy guy and don't have time for this game of yours. If you want me to take you out you're going to have to give me a time, otherwise this isn't gonna' work out." If she flakes after that, she's not interested. When you give her those lines you do it nonchalantly, not with a pissed-off look on your face... remember it's HER loss, not yours.