"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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She's into me, but why so shy?

Finch

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This girl that I'm currently seeing is shy around me. She doesn't talk too much and I find it awkward sometimes to get the ball rolling as she isn't as outgoing as I'm used to in most girls who like me. I know she isn't an inexperienced girl though because I know she likes to get down. I was talking to her today and she bashed on my workplace and didn't know that I worked there. So I laughed it off and gave her grief and she started opening up and touching me.

I texted her later that she will have to make up for that. She replies by telling me that "she will definitely make up for it ;-)". I asker her how and she said "you'll just have to find out". Ok, I know she's really into because her best friend is asking me if I want to date her and she's already giving the vibe that she's ready to get down.

So this brings me to my question; why so shy? I don't think she's intimidated because she's a great looking girl that has no problem getting guys. I know she's interested for a fact, so discussing that is pointless. I guess maybe she has a shy personality? What are some good ways to get her to open up and relax a little bit and join me on my social level?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Climax

Master Don Juan
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My 2c on this....

Finch: I know exactly what you are talking about... I have been in the same position as you before too... These girls are shy because the minute they are around someone they like, they tend to become shy/nervous. The reason? Well from what I have been told (by the girl herself that was shy etc around me) was that they are scared to "mess up" or do something that will make you think "less" of her etc. They are scared that you will see their "bad side" in a sence... So in order to get over this, you need to spend a lot of time with this girl, making her feel completely comfortable around you, and then slowly slowly she will start opening up to you and acting "herself" around you. SO take her out places, go to her house, invite her over to YOUR house, just spend a lot of time with her until she starts loosening up and being unshy self;)

With some girls it might be the sexual tension too... have u kissed her yet? If not, then I suggest you try do so in the near future, because with a lot of girls, they will not open up fully to a guy until they kiss, or do something of that sort... I know... Its weird, but its also true. The reason for this? Well... When a girl and a guy kiss it is something intimate, and very often after a kiss (knowing that she already has feelings for you) she will feel more "attached" to you, and she will feel more comfortable with you too, which will lead to the elimination of the shyness.

Those are 2 possibilities which are the main reasons for shyness that I have come across in my life.... There are also the possibilities of the girl not knowing if u like her, so she will act "not herself" because she doesn’t want to let you know that she likes you until she KNOWS that you like her back, etc, but I just mentioned the most common two;)


Good Luck...


Laterz...
 

Finch

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Awesome. Amazingly I have some similar feelings for her. She's a HB 8.5 and just fresh out of a long relationship so I want to play things smooth. Oddly enough I find myself off balance when I'm around her because of her shyness. It just throws me off, lol.

I know that I shouldn't worry about it. It doesn't matter if things don't work out. Well this is also my prom date so I'm just trying to keep things on a good page. I'm able to be myself, but not comfortablely yet. I guess we both haven't reached that comfort stage yet. Now that I think about it, this makes a lot of sense. The kiss hasn't come yet, but that'll be soon no doubt.

It's fine though. I'm completely able to pull things together. It's just more difficult than normal. I think things are going to work out just fine.

Again thanks for the input. Very insightful and helpful.
 

Climax

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oh? hmmm.....

She just got out of a relationship? hmmm..... Just be carefull that she is not using you as a rebound guy! Otherwise... If she isnt, then all is good, and all will come in its due time.... so good luck with her and i look forward to hearing the end result of the 2 of you;)


laterz...
 

Finch

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Nah, I already checked that out. She was burnt out on her boyfriend of a year. She definitely lost interest. She's been talking to my friends to try and figure out if I'm ready to settle down.

Anyway, thanks for everything. Tomorrow I'm taking her to the state basketball game. That should be fun, but I'm a little worried considering she's so shy! We'll get around that someway though.

Any other ideas or techniques to use on somebody who is interested but shy?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Climax

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nice...

Great.... well then you are in a good position... tomorrow at the game, hold her hand... start getting intimate with her, she will pick up that u ARE interested in her and she will act accordingly. So for tomorrow, just use some kino with her, along with some flirting & C&F (not too muvh C&F, though) and you should be fine;) Enjoy tomorrow, i look forward to hearing how it went.


laterz...
 

Don_Joffe

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Aequitas: Why are you so predictable? You keep using the words "My 2cents" in basically every post you make.
 

Finch

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Well here's an update. The game went awesome. We both had so much fun and there was plenty of kino going on. We couldn't stop touching each other. The whole time we're laughin and just having fun and learning about each other at the same time. Anyway, we were really into each other you could tell.

At the end of the night I drove her home and kissed her goodbye.

Things definitely have changed from the awkward stage now.
 

Climax

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shweet!

good...... GOOD!... i'm happy for you man.... Hope all goes well for the 2 of you in the future man! Always remember though... dont let her get bored when she is with you... always have SOMETHING down your sleeve! Make her LOVE being with you (like u did last night) ... Well done! ... keep us posted;)


Laterz...
 
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