She's into me, but has a bf

[Toushi]

Ok... I said I would'nt come here till next monday, but I had to come.

Anyways, when I was an 100% AFC I blew up a chance with a HB8 that was really into me... She really cared about me and stuff. But since I was a MAJOR AFC, I just... man, I done nothing.
Then, one guy jumped in the scene, and started dating her, and now he is her bf.

An year and a half later I met her again. Her relationship with her bf is a fvcked up one... He's a jealous bastard, and a major AFC. He crushed her social life, now she is no more a good student, she's always stressed and sad... Although the relationship is like this, they seem to keep growing strong. I guess that's because he is her real bf, and she feels secure with him.

Now... Last days, she has just... I don't know, showed huge interest in me! We went to play badminton together, just like that, out of the blue, and she talks a lot to me... You know, stuff like that.

Do you have some thoughts to share on this? Should I risk with her, or just next her because of her relationship? =/

 

[shydude]

Well it depends.. Not relly cool by srtealing a girl, but there is no such thing as U cant have her. if her boyfriend is a big guy, that can hurt u, he probably will becouse u stole something from him that is more that soimething. But that doesnt matter, now does it?? U should ask her out. Just approach her, if she starts to say something like I cant, i have a boyfriend, or i am not into relationships right now, just be her friend. She might want u as a friend, not as her boyfriend. And the best thing for u to do is talk to her, listen to her, and look at her reactions.

 

[The Real Ice Man]

Yeah...I agree with Luke because you have to wonder why she's dating a prick (and not leaving him despite how he acts) in the first place. But if you think that she really is interested in you, as opposed to just what you can do for her, then you just have to make yourself look way better than her boyfriend in her eyes by displaying the qualities that she finds important in a man. The only problem is that a jealous, controlling bastard who treats her like crap MAY be what appeals to her...you can't be too sure yet. I guess all you can do is spend some more time with her and try to learn about how she is and what she desires. You may find out that she's normal and wants a change from her current situation, or that all she wants is emotional support to give her a temporary ego boost with which she'll jump right back in to her old ways.

 

[xBoost]

Hey Toushi,

EXACT same predicament man! But this girl is seriously putting signs out there. She tells me she dosn't like her boyfriend, and is showing OBVIOUS signs of interest. How do i go about making a move, because i want to, and not risk offending her if I am wrong? She's a good friend so I don't want to lose that if I misjudge the situation. The whole reason shes going out with this fool is because I ****d around and didn't ask her out when I could. Any thoughts?

 

[oranges]

IMO lots of girls want people who will listen to their problems about other people, they dont even want your advice. In these situations you are being used, find a girl who isn't crying to you about someone else and wants to talk about you !

 

[BobTheB]

This happened to me over the last week. I'd been talking to one of my friends a lot even though I knew she had a boyfriend. Eventually we both just said we liked each other and the next day she asked me for a ride to a baseball game. She sat next to me practically the whole time and by the end of the game we were holding hands. (I didn't want to make a move, seemed like a **** move.) So then she went out of town over the weekend and said she'd pick one of us by Sunday. On sunday she picked me and broke up with her boyfriend. We went and saw a movie on Monday (no moves, again, it was too early) and by monday nite she was back with her boyfriend. If anything the advice I can give you is to just stay away.

 

[Nzo]

Stealing a girlfriend isnt cool, how would u like it if someone did it to you?



And Shes Buying A Stairway To Heaven...

 

[The Real Ice Man]

Well, if a guy "stole" a girl from me, I wouldn't like it but it would be a sign that his game was just that much better than mine and that I needed to make some improvements. It works the other way, too. If you're that much better than the guy that a particular girl is with, then she should be with you instead. You're not "stealing" anything because it's HER choice whether she goes for you and leaves her boyfriend.

 

[Shocker]

if you do go for it, just dont ask her to dump him for you. Its more alpha to lean back and let her decide.