She's hot and cold

[ScubaSteve99]

Hey guys,

I'm having a lot of trouble with a girl that I'm seeing. We dated for two months before Christmas and everything was going very well. We met a lot of each others friends, studied together at school, had awesome sex, went on road trips together, and so on. However, a week into my month long christmas break (I went home to another city), she drops it on me that she's not ready for a committed relationship, but that she would still be into a non-exclusive sex buddy relationship when I returned to school. After thinking it over, I agreed that I could handle that, and throughout the rest of the holidays we continued to sext and chat fairly regularly.

Now I have been back for a week, and we have hung out and hooked up 4 times. When we're together it feels great, but trying to set up times to hang out with her is frustrating. I texted her today to ask her when she's free later this week, and she replied saying that she'd "like to go with the flow, play it by ear, and if we find time to hang out then that would be great." How do you go with the flow when you can't ask when they're free? The sex is still amazing, and I love being around her, but I feel like I'm getting jerked around.

A little background on her situation: when we started dating she was 5 months out of a five year relationship where she was cheated on. I'm guessing that she has some serious trust issues with men, so I'm trying to figure out if she's testing me or playing games. Also, I'm 32 and she's 23 so I may just have to endure the troubles that come with an age gap like this. If anyone has any advice about how I should navigate this it would be appreciated. I really like this girl, but at a certain point I may have to walk away and risk losing her.

 

[Glumix]

After thinking around I can tell that you are not ready for that.

What do you mean by losing her when she doesn't even want to see you anymore ? You already lost her. She is just keeping you around for whenever SHE will want anything.

Go NC, find another girl and if she texts you back, YOU set the date and place if you still want to bang her. But I suggest you move on and let her go. She will only use you so be sure she gives something back.

 

[Reykhel]

Wait a minute......you've been back one week and you've hung out and hooked up four times????!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll repeat that : IN ONE WEEK YOU'VE HOOKED UP FOUR TIMES????????

Fvck me dead!! and you are so eager to organise the next hook up!!!!!

the impression that I get from your post is it's your neediness that's pushing her away......that's why she's
saying to you "eh relax, let's go with the flow", but your trying to nail her down. I bet your trying to
make a date for the next hook up while your on your date/hook-up......Jesus slow down fella

When a girl says she's not ready for a committed relationship (which should always be her idea by the way), that translates to "I'm not ready for a committed relationship, WITH YOU"

It sounds like you spent waaaay too much time together in the first two months. Meeting friends? studying together? going on road trips? Too much too soon. You've given her the store fella.........when there's no
wine left in the bottle, the party's over baby...

You see, right now.....she has other options....and you.....don't have any other options.....

can you see the predicament?

You've got to make yourself and your time more valuable by being unavailable.....

Forget about her for now. Consider her as no longer important to your life. A slag that you cannot take seriously. Go hang out with your friends and go approach other women....better looking women...

Get options man and don't see any woman more than once a week until she is begging to see you more..........

Think about that.......3 women, 3 nights per week......the other nights are for you.....you think you'll care if one of those 3 starts getting hot and cold? You've got to kill that neediness though........they need to be coming at you ...

Read: DJ Bible
http://www.mts.net/~bpony/djbible/readers.htm

Kill that desperation
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php?threads/kill-that-desperation.16926/

 

[Glumix]

Wait a minute......you've been back one week and you've hung out and hooked up four times????!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll repeat that : IN ONE WEEK YOU'VE HOOKED UP FOUR TIMES????????

Fvck me dead!! and you are so eager to organise the next hook up!!!!!

the impression that I get from your post is it's your neediness that's pushing her away......that's why she's
saying to you "eh relax, let's go with the flow", but your trying to nail her down. I bet your trying to
make a date for the next hook up while your on your date/hook-up......Jesus slow down fella

When a girl says she's not ready for a committed relationship (which should always be her idea by the way), that translates to "I'm not ready for a committed relationship, WITH YOU"

It sounds like you spent waaaay too much time together in the first two months. Meeting friends? studying together? going on road trips? Too much too soon. You've given her the store fella.........when there's no
wine left in the bottle, the party's over baby...

You see, right now.....she has other options....and you.....don't have any other options.....

can you see the predicament?

You've got to make yourself and your time more valuable by being unavailable.....

Forget about her for now. Consider her as no longer important to your life. A slag that you cannot take seriously. Go hang out with your friends and go approach other women....better looking women...

Get options man and don't see any woman more than once a week until she is begging to see you more..........

Think about that.......3 women, 3 nights per week......the other nights are for you.....you think you'll care if one of those 3 starts getting hot and cold? You've got to kill that neediness though........they need to be coming at you ...

Read: DJ Bible
http://www.mts.net/~bpony/djbible/readers.htm

Kill that desperation
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php?threads/kill-that-desperation.16926/

I missed that part about the 4 times a week... Ahah !

 

[sodbuster]

You've spent so much time with her she probably feels like you 2 are f'ing married.....Give her some space, let her come to you....

 

[nismo-4]

Your princess is in another castle. And your eagerness is driving her there.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Your princess is in another castle. And your eagerness is driving her there.

Not always true. Sometimes they run tight with their female friends.

 

[hudpes]

When are hungry, you waste no food. When you are full, you won't take a bite of even the most excellent dish.

ScubaSteve99: you need to resolve your own insecurities first. The foundation on which you stand is shaky, find what you are and what you want, find self respect and then go with the flow. Avoid anxious haste.