She's hesitant to meet me at my place. Next her?

[starfishandcoffee]

Date 1 - At a bar. Kino, kino, kino, and we ended up kissing a little when walking toward her car at the end of it. She enjoyed it, but was very uncomfortable with the kiss being in front of everyone like that.

Date 2 - coffee meetup on a Sunday when I was off work - we kept it short, since I had my own plans afterward and so did she. (No kissing this time - that PDA on the first date was all I'm gonna get for the time being, it looks like.)

She clearly enjoys my company, but she takes dating a lot more slowly than I'm used to. I threw a lot of hints out about us meeting at my place next time. She appears pretty hesitant to do so.

Is there a way to get myself alone with her? (I'm almost ready to drop her like a hot potato - I abhor rejection. Seems like a waste when she's into me, though.)

 

[PlayHer Man]

Depends on what you want man. Do you want a girlfriend or are you just looking for action?

Seems like she is the relationship type who doesn't bang fast. If you don't want a relationship just tell her you're just having a good time right now and not looking for something serious.

You can also ask her what her expectations are and what she is looking for at the moment. I wouldn't drop her so fast yet. She hasn't really done anything offensive or rude.

 

[ARrocket]

Meet at bar near your place. Escalate a bit. Find a good reason to invite her back (could be for a movie, for something cool you have that you mentioned earlier, or even just 'to see my place'). Take her back. If no go, just invite her directly the next time.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Not smooth at all man. I notice a general problem with guys on these boards is their forceful insistence on getting women back to their place, which makes the woman think you're just after her for sex. It's okay if you want to have sex with her, but for that first one you have to make them think it's their idea to come up.

And so, rather than saying "Hey, you should come up to my place next time" - and thus, blowing it if she's not ready - you give her some "bait" to work with that will let her make the decision to come inside your place.

For example: as of right now, I have my own apartment, and a living room with no furniture. Why? Because, instead, I have a green screen and two lights hanging up so that I can film stuff whenever I want. Now, were I not in a relationship at the moment and dating a new woman, I would make it a point to mention my green screen set up in a conversation - something like "Yeah, so I film a lot of stuff at my place... I actually have a green screen and lights set up in the living room so I can film stuff on the fly. Sometimes I'll even film little skits and practice placing different backgrounds behind myself."

Most guys don't have a green screen set up in their living rooms, so it's something I'd purposefully be saying as a way to "bait" her into coming back to my place. Now, notice I haven't said "you should come up and see it sometime." Saying that would be something that may give her indication I'm only mentioning this to get her back to my place - which I am. However, now that it's mentioned, she can decide what she wants to do with that information.

If she's wanting to move forward sexually, she'd say something like: "Oh wow, really? Would it be possible for me to see it when we get back?" (Translation: thanks for giving me an excuse to come up to your place so I can have sex with you, versus asking me to come up and me having to turn you down so I won't look like a slvt.) And if she's not wanting to do go that direction, she'd say something like: "Oh, how nice, must be fun..." with no mention of coming up.

You have to realize, even if a girl wants to bang you, her slvt-o-meter is always going to be on, so you have to make it EASY for her to come up by alluding to something in your place that would warrant her wanting to come up and "see it" (i.e. have sex with you). Always remember: girls communicate best via hinting and alluding to things, not by direct commenting. Do this, and you'll be much more successful (it's how I'm able to score with most broads by date #2 )

 

[starfishandcoffee]

well...I *do* just want her for sex, but I don't exactly want her to know that, since she's under the impression I'm a player. (she's mentioned it.)

 

[Demonpenz]

Tell her you aren't a player, hence why you really need to get laid.

 

[Trump]

Man the guys on here like to move fast...it's like first date make out, second date sex or go to hell!

I guess I see the point when the girls have slept with alphas before and in first 5 minutes, but you have to know your audience. You can't get mad at her for changing her behavior or not meeting her before and having sex quickly.

Like Harry said, they have to have a reason to come back and have sex with you. Maybe "hey next time Ill cook for you at my place" or "we could watch a movie at my place" rather than droppings subtle hints. I'd be more worried about no affection on the second date.

 

[Skalioppe]

You're trying far too hard to get her back to yours and bang her, it's so obvious you may as well get a fvcking neon sign above your head advertising the fact. She sounds like a woman with self respect who wants to be treated well before giving the golden prize to you.

I had a similar-ish situation last weekend, where a HB8.5 woman made it very clear she wasn't going to let me bang her, 100% so. Trust me she meant it, nice girl, not a slvt who puts out easily. She was willing to let me crash at hers because I was in her area, but on the strict caveat that no funny shenanigans would go on. You know how I played it? Exactly the same way you should, negative psychology - become an ant-slvt. You adopt the self respecting high ground, draw the lines, the rules which suggest you don't want to fvck, and that is the key to blasting the fvck out of her anti-slvt defence mechanism.

True events....

Me (serious face) : I'll come back to yours but likewise I like to get to know women before I do anything, so promise me nothing will happen?
Her (impressed face) : I'm glad we understand each other!

About an hour later.... After some kissing, spooning, touching, licking...

Her (in the throes of desire) : What have you done to me?... Sigh.... I just want you to fvck me....
Me (Knowing exactly what I'm doing) : But I don't do this, not so soon and I want you to respect me...
Her : Just fvck me you bastard....