She's got a FWB

[DMEDFISIK]

So 8 months ago I met a girl who was clearly into me but I never gave her much time. Recently I started re-engaging her, however she disclosed to me she recently started a friends-with-benefits (FWB) deal with some other dude. She still makes out with me, wants to spend time with me, cooks for me, etc.

In any case, I'm not so sure she will drop her FWB deal soon and I won't ask her to. I expect her to use her brain in this matter.

Will I be too harsh if her just forget about her again? There are many other girls with less complicated situations, but I do appreciate her honesty.

If you have experienced this type of issue how did you handle it? I was hoping to start a relationship with this girl but this looks like bad timing.

 

[HyperAnalyze]

Sounds like bad timing yeah.

Keep seeing her to see where you can push the interaction.

She gives you lots of attention and validation.

I wouldn't be so eager to toss her away just yet

 

[Robert28]

So 8 months ago I met a girl who was clearly into me but I never gave her much time. Recently I started re-engaging her, however she disclosed to me she recently started a friends-with-benefits (FWB) deal with some other dude. She still makes out with me, wants to spend time with me, cooks for me, etc.

In any case, I'm not so sure she will drop her FWB deal soon and I won't ask her to. I expect her to use her brain in this matter.

Will I be too harsh if her just forget about her again? There are many other girls with less complicated situations, but I do appreciate her honesty.

If you have experienced this type of issue how did you handle it? I was hoping to start a relationship with this girl but this looks like bad timing.

They ALL have a fwb on the side, dude. I don't care what anyone says, I know better and being around females in social groups has taught me this. The thing is, some are up front about it and some hide it like some government top secret Area 51 sh!t. It's one of those things you don't want to hear, but are glad to at least know, but once you find out it kinda sucks.

Here's what I'd do, don't give her ANY opinions or advice about her fwb situation. Act oblivious to it even though she's told you about it. With that said do NOT, I repeat, do NOT spend a d@mn dime on this girl right now. If ya'll go out make her pay for her own sh!t. In fact, don't even suggest going on dates and put yourself in a position where you might have to spend any money on her. He11 fvck no, not while she's banging some other dude. What you do is invite her to do stuff with you and your friends, like say if your friends are having a party or are going out downtown invite her to come along. The secret is to not try to MAKE her like you. In other words hangout but if you're out with friends or at a party or whatever don't be hanging on to her d@mn arm all night. go mingle, go talk to other girls, etc. Let HER bring it up about her ending the fwb thing and ya'll dating. Don't you bring it up! Even if she never does decide to end things with the other guy and date you, what have you lost? Nothing really. fwb don't last forever, but right now you're just planting that seed in her mind where she thinks "well when I stop being a hoebag, this guy might be cool to date".

 

[HyperAnalyze]

Basically get her to chase you, through social outings as Robert28 says.

She see's that you have tons of value from your friends, tease her, bust her balls.

She gets attracted to you because you are't being needy or desperate then boom.

Her focus and attention will be on you and she is at your command.

Get her to invest in you as well, it sounds like she already is but you gotta play it cool and everything should work itself out.

 

[DMEDFISIK]

I do like her right now, but I am level-headed. I have been very cautious with this girl and I have a vibe that she knows this.

I did suspect that letting go of her quickly would be rather rash and premature, so I made this post. It is also hard to be needy as I am very busy with work and projects.

Good pieces of advice in general. Thanks gentlemen.

 

[Robert28]

I do like her right now, but I am level-headed. I have been very cautious with this girl and I have a vibe that she knows this.

I did suspect that letting go of her quickly would be rather rash and premature, so I made this post. It is also hard to be needy as I am very busy with work and projects.

Good pieces of advice in general. Thanks gentlemen.

Liking a girl and being interested in her is one thing. Thinking you owe her jack sh!t is another. What I mean by that is just because you like her doesn't mean you are obligated whatsoever to like, talk to, flirt with, hangout, etc with JUST her. No sirree Bob. Until she calls it off with the fwb and grabs you by the balls and claims them to be hers and only hers, you just keep doing you and consider yourself 1000% single and ACT like you're single. Meaning you do whatever the he!! you want with whoever the he!! you want.

 

[VladPatton]

Wait a minute...how is this not a Friend Zone situation? All you do is eat with her while some other dude rails her, as she openly told you about it. I interpret her telling you that as a "back off, I'm busy" statement.

I'd drop her until she's done with that other dude. You're really not getting what you want here, so why go on? You could be spending and banging a girl that wants you to!

 

[HoneyHitter]

In any case, I'm not so sure she will drop her FWB deal soon and I won't ask her to. I expect her to use her brain in this matter.

Good luck with THAT! :crackup:

 

[DMEDFISIK]

I actually don't spend any money on her and I don't plan to. She did buy me Christmas gifts (surprisingly); in contrast, I got her nothing. I will keep talking to her, but I am definitely keeping my options open. It goes without saying that it would be foolish to ONLY keep seeing her, especially considering what is happening.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Send Her My Dude

Look man, f*ck all of that, "Ronnie Romance, Get-In-Where-I-Fit-In-Trying to-F*ck-and-Make-Her-Drop-The-Other-Nigga" sh*t. This is what you do, put on a suit. If you don't own one, buy one. She's going to ask you, "Why are you all dress upped?" You tell her, "Well there was this chick I met the other day and we started flirting and what not. I explained to her the situation with men and you, and she was fine with that. She was quite persistent about wanting to f*ck with me. So I told her that if she wanted to f*ck with me, she was going to have to give me some money. She called me today and said that she had some money for me and I'm going to pick it up. Leave it at that.

The next time y'all are together, you say this. "You know, (whatever-the-f*ck-her-name-is,) I really appreciate all of the things that you do for me, the cooking, (name your favorite dish that she cooks,) spending time with you, that's all good but...." You trail off and she'll say, "But what?" But I really don't mess with women unless their giving me some money. All for the other stuff you is cool and I like I said appreciate it fully, but I what I really need for you to do is give me some money."

Now her head is really f*cked up and her sensibilities are going to be offended because she's going to be thinking your implying that she start hoin', but your not, (at least not anyway,) Now at this point one or two things are going to happen,

1) She's going to get pissed and leave you alone

2) She's going to get your money.

If takes Option #1 leave her punk a$$ alone because there's no telling what she's told the other dude. As far as we know, this nigga may think that he's her boyfriend and you don't want to find yourself in a bad spot behind some mendacious b*tch.

If takes Option #2 give her dollar amount, nothing crazy maybe $100, $200 dollars and tell her that her is not to contact you until she has the money. If she calls without the money, you need to tell her, "Do you have my money?" She's gonna hem and haw about it, but you need to stand firm. You need to reiterate to her the following. I told you that if you wanted to be in relationship with me that you're going to have to give me $100. I don't know why you didn't believe me but I was serious. Now don't call or text me until you have my money."

She's either going to leave alone or bring you the money, and if she brings you the money, then DMEDFISIK, welcome to the world of pimpin' and hoin'.

 

[str8-2-BONEzone]

:box: babes luv my BONE BANG it makes them want to give me lotsa nice stuff

whats the best thing a babes ever giving 2 u?

 

[rushing dude 123]

You want a relationship huh, I'll say move on.

If you want to just be a FWB with her as well though, then proceed, but it looks like that is all she is looking for right now.

Trying to romance that chick into a gf, whilst she is banging some other dude and he is getting all the fun, doesn't sound that much fun for you.

 

[Married Buried]

What is so complicated with this? All you have to do is be the BETTER FWB.

Ignore what she said about her FWB, it's just some guy she is banging on the side until the BETTER one comes along. Even my wife did this when we FIRST started dating I found out. I am not holding it against her because we were not exclusive or anything. I found out she got rid of that guy after we dated a few times.

 

[Krueg]

So 8 months ago I met a girl who was clearly into me but I never gave her much time. Recently I started re-engaging her, however she disclosed to me she recently started a friends-with-benefits (FWB) deal with some other dude. She still makes out with me, wants to spend time with me, cooks for me, etc.

A wise man once told me, "A piece you turn down is a piece you'll never have!"

Are you even having sex with her? Or like how Vlad put it -

All you do is eat with her while some other dude rails her, as she openly told you about it.

She's stringing you along like a puppet!

 

[MrNiceGuy23]

All women play the upgrade game. She is banging this dude because she has nobody else right now, so she keeps around as a FWB and never plans to be anything more with him. When a better guy comes along, she will either replace her FWB with this new guy, or, if he is more than that, she will look to him as someone to date.

If you want to date her, don't tell her, just let her do what she thinks is right, you don't want to sound needy telling her to stop the FWB crap, if she is smart enough to see the writing on the wall, then she'll end it for you and you'll have a winner.