She's gone, I'm lost, guide an initiate DJ?

[Ganzun]

Just got out of an eighteen month relationship with this girl I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with, we were happy, planning to move in this summer, looking at rings...the works.

However, over the past nine months i turned into a prick and left her no reason to stay with me, she just left me and had a new guy within a week that she thinks is so magical, she won't even look at me.

But the relationship isn't what this is about, I know I have to move on, I screwed up and now i want to start over, I've been reading through The HS Bible but it still feels distant and unreal.

The community here seems to have a strong sense of togetherness, wanted to know if you'd be willing to help a newbie out i guess.

Much love, hope to hear from you soon.

 

[ladiesman217]

Welcome to the community gunzan *high five* props to you for finding us. Read the dj bible too: www.sosuave.com/bible/bible.htlm, this has a lot you will need to know about attraction and self improvement.

 

[Nino-Tk]

That's the exact same reason why I came here.

First of all, accept that the relationship is over, however, don't try to act like it didn't sting. It did, go through the motions, accept the loss, get yourself some closure. This is to prevent any future neediness that might arise when she tries to re-establish contact. You'd think you are over her only to find out she can still control the strings of your emotions like a puppet. Don't skip this.

Secondly, I know its probably hard to fathom the abundance mentality right now, but you must. She might have been cool, beautiful and all that but there are literally hundreds that are more cooler, hotter, smarter than her. So go out and just date multiple women, to internalise the mindset, always think "There's more where she came from". Simple.

Third. You gonna get rejected a lot, if you aren't, then you are playing it too safe, not taking many risks or just not being aggressive enough. You are free now my man, explore the women, meet new ones and make new memories.

Fourth. At this stage, its normal to go into analysis paralysis mode whereby you try and absorb as much info as you can so as to avoid the mistakes you did. Tell you what, you aren't gonna be perfect so don't spend too much time reading and philosophising about the new concepts you are learning. Spend 20 percent learning and try em out 80 percent of the time in the field. I wish someone had told me this when I started.

Anyway, welcome to the forum. Wish you all the best of luck.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

I'm glad you dodged the bullet.

 

[Ganzun]

Alrighty, taking everyone's advice, date tonight, started NC with her. Hope stuff goes well. I'll keep you updated.

Thanks for the motivation and welcome, not big on dead communities so being acknowledged is nice.

Wish me luck.

 

[betheman]

you lucky bastard!!!

thats right, you are one lucky boy, first thing, you are 17 and you are about to go on a massive learning curve, looking back id give my right arm to have had the access to the internet and this site at your age.
2, you are 17, you had an LTR, no way was it going to last, even if you got married and had kids, your life would hold so much regret.
3, she moved on and had a guy within a week, thats women, learning point number 1, they will never invest emotionaly, as much as a man, forget the disney sh!te!
4, you have a new life, a blank canvass, go and heavy fun with girls and learn, do not even consider, getting emotionaly attached for at least ten years..seriously!

oh...and welcome

 

[goundra]

Forget em, until you have a ton of money and have it invested well, clearing at LEAST 30k a year without having to lift a finger. THEN WHEN, not if, your US lady costs you a ton of money, you won't be killing yourself trying to provide it. If you really want to screw up and have a ltr relationship with just one, better get an IRONCLAD prenuptial agreement, even "palimony" can kill your retirement.

 

[DanZy]

Oh goundra, if you're not a troll, what did women do to you to fvck you up quite so badly?

 

[Mike]

Like everyone else said you are lucky Ganzun, good post too, read the bible man and learn from it, sounds tough what you've been through but being as young as you are you will be fine.
http://www.mts.net/~bpony/djbible/