Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Shes giving me the runaround....help!!

Joshua75

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I had made a date with a HB8 on saturday for next friday. I told her I would call her on Monday to confirm the plans and tell her where we would go. She said ok. She seemed interested because I didnt let her manipulate me. I took the lead.

Anyway, Monday is here and I called her and i get her F***** answering machine. NO, I DID NOT LEAVE A MESSAGE. I dont leave messages until after we go out on at least one date. What do i do now? Shes online because I see her name is showing she is online.

Should i send her an email telling her our plans. Should I blow her off? Is she testing me? Should I call her on her BS? I need help.

Josh
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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JonJack

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Chill man. If it's possible, try not to make such things a big deal. Take it easy and take it simple.

So she doesn't pick up her phone. Fine, lots of people don't pick up their phones sometime. So you didn't leave a message. Fine, I don't too. So you see her online. Fine, sometimes people are in front of their computer and kinda get lost in it and not notice calls. What do you do? Ask her if she's still up for going out online. If she doesn't reply, fine, maybe she's not in front of the computer after all. It's not supposed to be such a big deal. Because if she doesn't respond the first time, it doesn't mean that she's blowing you off. Because if she's not interested in going out or blows you off, you shouldn't be bothered.
 

flexion_

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This is a prime example of why you *shouldn't* call to confirm anything. There is nothing to be confirmed - when you have a place and a time it already is confirmed.

Assume she likes you, assume she is coming. She'll call you if she gets into a snag and leave it at that. You just ran into some answering machine BS. Maybe she isn't home and on MSN somewhere else. Stop with the confirming the day of thing - you might as well say to her:

"I'll see you at <place> <time>; but, I'll call you that day to see if you have got any better plans with someone more fun than me so you have an opportunity to cancel out and keep me as your backup plan."
 

amoka

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flexion_ said:
....... Stop with the confirming the day of thing - you might as well say to her:

"I'll see you at <place> <time>; but, I'll call you that day to see if you have got any better plans with someone more fun than me so you have an opportunity to cancel out and keep me as your backup plan."
I disagree with this statement. Why should she consider you a backup-plane? I would rather say "I'll call you if other things turn out with my schedule".
 

grinder

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Don't let the answering machine trip you up. It's no big thing. Since the plans were not specific you hosed youself a little there and left yourself hanging.

If you did not contact her yesterday or today(night): Call tomorrow. You were VERY busy and just could not get to it until then (unless she has caller ID from the first call, then your sunk). Get it? Still, Making her wait is a GOOD thing. Matter of fact, you might be too busy Fri, right? Make it later. What's the hurry?

Anyway, my two bits. Hope you didn't call her 3 times, e-mail her 4 or we will have to kill you.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Natch

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flexion_ said:
you might as well say to her:

"I'll see you at <place> <time>; but, I'll call you that day to see if you have got any better plans with someone more fun than me so you have an opportunity to cancel out and keep me as your backup plan."
Yep. I agree with flexion on this one.
Amoka, try to read the posts before you answer them.

Still , who makes plans more than 3 days in advance? And in any case , what are you doing taking a girl to something you wouldn't be doing anyway?
 

amoka

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Natch said:
Yep. I agree with flexion on this one.
Amoka, try to read the posts before you answer them.

Still , who makes plans more than 3 days in advance? And in any case , what are you doing taking a girl to something you wouldn't be doing anyway?
I don't dissagree with making arrangements in advance. What I won't do is to be considered a second or "back-up" plan for a girl. If she really wants to go out with you, she'll make plans to meet-up with you.
 
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