"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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"She's a *****"

rain63

Don Juan
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I approached a 2set the other night... got to talking, running some material etc... and somewhere along the line one of the girls says the other one is a b!tch... I just laugh it off and say "well, thats OK because i'm a bit of a d!ck sometimes myself." I really had no idea what to make of this... any ideas?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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AKA FLEX

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The chick who said that wanted your man meat. Why else would she talk s--- about a friend? Assuming she was up to your standards, you should have f-closed her post-haste.
 

rain63

Don Juan
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Thats good to know... HAHA, but she was too tall for me.
 

TheBucketOfTruth

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I would have said something to the other one like "does she always insult you in front of new people like that?" but in a joking way.
 
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