"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Sheep Gives Birth to Human-Faced Lamb

OTB

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http://english.pravda.ru/science/mysteries/12-01-2010/111621-sheep_human_face-0

A sheep gave birth to a dead lamb with a human-like face. The calf was born in a village not far from the city of Izmir, Turkey.

Erhan Elibol, a vet, performed Cesarean section on the animal to take the calf out, but was horrified to see that the features of the calf’s snout bore a striking resemblance to a human face.

“I’ve seen mutations with cows and sheep before. I’ve seen a one-eyed calf, a two-headed calf, a five-legged calf. But when I saw this youngster I could not believe my eyes. His mother could not deliver him so I had to help the animal,” the 29-year-old veterinary said.

The lamb’s head had human features on – the eyes, the nose and the mouth – only the ears were those of a sheep.

Veterinaries said that the rare mutation most likely occurred as a result of improper mutation since the fodder for the lamb’s mother was abundant with vitamin A, CNNTurk.com reports.

A goat from Zimbabwe gave birth to a similar youngster in September 2009. The mutant baby born with a human-like head stayed alive for several hours until the frightened village residents killed him.

The governor of the province where the ugly goat was born said that the little goat was the fruit of unnatural relationship between the female goat and a man.

"This incident is very shocking. It is my first time to see such an evil thing. It is really embarrassing," he reportedly said. "The head belongs to a man while the body is that of a goat. This is evident that an adult human being was responsible. Evil powers caused this person to lose self control. We often hear cases of human beings who commit bestiality but this is the first time for such an act to produce a product with human features," he added.

The mutant creature was hairless. Local residents said that even dogs were afraid to approach the bizarre animal.

The locals burnt the body of the little goat, and biologists had no chance to study the rare mutation.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Alle_Gory

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OTB said:
The governor of the province where the ugly goat was born said that the little goat was the fruit of unnatural relationship between the female goat and a man.
Whoa. A scientist as governor! This is news. So the human chromosomes were able to interact with incompatible animal chromosomes for the first time in recorded history.
 

BigJimbo

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Haha. English language Pravda is a hoot. If you want an English language Russian source try Russia Today or the Moscow Times.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Rogue

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pareidolia
when a vague or random image is perceived as recognizable.
 

backbreaker

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that thing doesn't have a perction. some guy put his cvck in a lamb.
 

Alle_Gory

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backbreaker said:
that thing doesn't have a perction. some guy put his cvck in a lamb.
You've never seen mutated animals before. The human face is a coincidence.

Human and animal DNA cannot and will not mix. That's why you don't see sheep/person and goat/person hybrids.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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AAAgent

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have you guys never heard of centaurs or chimera's.....i was always scared to flush my condoms down the toilet as my sperm could somehow end up with a certain fish. well if it turned out like aquaman that'd be cool but if it looked like that sheep....
 

n00bPimp

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AAAgent said:
have you guys never heard of centaurs or chimera's.....i was always scared to flush my condoms down the toilet as my sperm could somehow end up with a certain fish. well if it turned out like aquaman that'd be cool but if it looked like that sheep....
No, when you flush live sperm down a toilet you get a Mr. Hanky. True story.
 
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