She wants to know more about me before we meet

[louis]

Got a date with a woman via an internet dating site.

We arranged it last Sunday for this Sunday (today). She send a text message at 9pm last night to say she couldn't make it because the trains aren't running, and she suggested arranging another time.

I've just logged on to the dating site, and found a message from her dated Friday -

Anything else you can tell me about you before Sunday? It's just that I don't know much about you..........
see you soon

I've checked on the trains, and it looks as though there is genuine problem with trains in her area.

But I'm not sure how to deal with her request for more information about me.

Any ideas?

 

[Julian]

"Im actually a 57 year old child molester who enjoys moonlit walks on the beach"

LOL dude tell her she will learn much about you soon enough. Dont spill the beans.

 

[squirrels]

You KNOW what my advice is gonna be.

 

[Dubs]

yes, ask her what she WANTS to know.

something like this recently came up for me...

i listed my hobbies, what i enjoy doing, a brief explaination of what i have been doing with my life.

nothing deep, no opionions straight facts, but then turn it on her.

maybe its just me but most women don't seem to have that much going on...

Girl-"i like hanging with friends, shopping, gossip, yea i love TV, "

me-"well my hobbies include working out, reading, studying, running, learning to dance,etc, etc, etc,"

girl "yea i really should start reading..."

 

[Sting]

Why tell her anything more than is on your profile? The more you tell her, the less mystery there is, and the more opportunity she has to pre-judge you before you even get a chance to meet her.

Remember, you're not the one who has to "qualify" -- she does. So in response to her question, simply tell her that you're not a sick freak, but that she'll have to wait until she meets you to find out more.

 

[louis]

Originally posted by Dubs
yes, ask her what she WANTS to know.

something like this recently came up for me...

i listed my hobbies, what i enjoy doing, a brief explaination of what i have been doing with my life.

nothing deep, no opionions straight facts, but then turn it on her...

...me-"well my hobbies include working out, reading, studying, running, learning to dance,etc, etc, etc,"

girl "yea i really should start reading..."

Hi Dubs,

I've used that approach in an email to her, and she has replied telling me the reason she asked was because she was concerned about her security (never having met me). I guess I can understand that because we hadn't really had much communication before we agreed to meet.

I'll exchange a few emails with her without divulging too much information. I'm aware of the danger of giving too much away - it will take away some of the attraction of meeting. If a date doesn't result after that, I think I'll move on.

 

[Survivor]

She wants a picture.

You have two choices:

1) Send her a pic and hope she likes it, or ....

2) Delete her bio altogether and focus more on meeting women in real world, using the internet only as a small supplment.

 

[squirrels]

IF you are going to go the extremely weak route of meeting women online, you are going to have to accept that women WILL flake on you and suspect you of being another Inter-perv. They get hit on by them ALL the time. If a girl is gung-ho about meeting someone she met off some personal site or random call on the Internet, then she is desperate or something is wrong with her.

If you haven't sent her a pic, then do so. She doesn't want an ugly guy any more than you want an ugly girl. Shallow? Yes, of COURSE it is, but that's a truth that not even the INternet can get around.

 

[Mikelo2k]

I hope you've seen a pic of her o_0

Generally, you dont see many hot girls on dating sites... sometimes you do, but more often you see fat ass 300lb monsters or ugly-ass-face *****es with saggy tits....

If I were u dude, i'd hit the local club or something

 

[louis]

Originally posted by Survivor
She wants a picture.

You have two choices:

1) Send her a pic and hope she likes it, or ....

2) Delete her bio altogether and focus more on meeting women in real world, using the internet only as a small supplment.

No. We both have photos on our public profiles.

 

[louis]

Originally posted by squirrels
IF you are going to go the extremely weak route of meeting women online, you are going to have to accept that women WILL flake on you and suspect you of being another Inter-perv. They get hit on by them ALL the time. If a girl is gung-ho about meeting someone she met off some personal site or random call on the Internet, then she is desperate or something is wrong with her.

Thanks squirrels. That's a big vote of confidence to everyone using online dating sites

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Just tell her that she will have a chance to learn more about you when you meet, until then she will just have to use her imagination. When you meet, you could have her tell you what she imagined. That should be something a bit different that what she would normally talk about.

 

[xblitz44x]

" If a girl is gung-ho about meeting someone she met off some personal site or random call on the Internet, then she is desperate or something is wrong with her."

I really can't disagree more. I've met quite a few girls from the internet. One that lasted over a year and it was an amazing relationship in so many aspects. She was a great girl and I'm still sorry that I fvcked that one up. I'm talk to another one right now and things are going GREAT. I admit that there are a lot of screw-ups on there so do your homework but don't count out online dating.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by squirrels
IF you are going to go the extremely weak route of meeting women online, you are going to have to accept that women WILL flake on you and suspect you of being another Inter-perv. They get hit on by them ALL the time. If a girl is gung-ho about meeting someone she met off some personal site or random call on the Internet, then she is desperate or something is wrong with her.

If you haven't sent her a pic, then do so. She doesn't want an ugly guy any more than you want an ugly girl. Shallow? Yes, of COURSE it is, but that's a truth that not even the INternet can get around.

I agree that online dating is a weak route if you aren't a DJ. Many AFCs have been burned because they did not know how to qualify women. Most times they'd trade emails for weeks at a time in hopes of getting her number just to get blown off because the woman gets bored with them. Then they get the attitude that it is in a woman's nature to flake out on them thus feeling that meeting people from online is a scam.

Successful DJs qualify women. They judge a woman's interest on her actions and not what she types. Also, they understand that putting all of their eggs into one basket isn't the most effective way to use the medium. They know that they have enough on the ball to merit several women vying for his attention so he manages meeting several women after they pass his qualifications.

In a nutshell, there are people online of both sexes that are confident in their abilities and the type of person that they are looking for. If they see those things in a person, why shouldn't they meet? Why waste time if there is a possibility of this being the right person? Better yet, why waste time just to find out it isn't the right person?

So yes, I agree that if the person has no idea what they are doing online, they will get burned over and over. By the way, what has been your experience online?

 

[Charisma]

Originally posted by Julian
"Im actually a 57 year old child molester who enjoys moonlit walks on the beach"

LOL dude tell her she will learn much about you soon enough. Dont spill the beans.

That's total domination man But that's definately the way to go, nothing better to do then that. But only do that if you are the kind of person that jokes around like that imo, or you'll just mess up Also a good thing to do, but you can't do that too often to the same chiq or she'll just start hating you is go something like : '(...) yeah, you'll figure it out, I have to go now, they're waiting, c u saturday *click*' They won't know what the hell just happened .. you just hang up on them after that question That saturday or whatever day, first thing they ask is 'What happened ?!'

 

[Charisma]

Oh btw, don't bring up child molesting ..

[EDIT] Oh I'm sorry I didn't notice it was about ONLINE dating, sorry. Don't know what you do there, tell her you aren't a desperate ***** like the others or something, dunno.

 

[louis]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
I agree that online dating is a weak route if you aren't a DJ. Many AFCs have been burned because they did not know how to qualify women. Most times they'd trade emails for weeks at a time in hopes of getting her number just to get blown off because the woman gets bored with them. Then they get the attitude that it is in a woman's nature to flake out on them thus feeling that meeting people from online is a scam.

Successful DJs qualify women. They judge a woman's interest on her actions and not what she types. Also, they understand that putting all of their eggs into one basket isn't the most effective way to use the medium. They know that they have enough on the ball to merit several women vying for his attention so he manages meeting several women after they pass his qualifications.

In a nutshell, there are people online of both sexes that are confident in their abilities and the type of person that they are looking for. If they see those things in a person, why shouldn't they meet? Why waste time if there is a possibility of this being the right person? Better yet, why waste time just to find out it isn't the right person?

So yes, I agree that if the person has no idea what they are doing online, they will get burned over and over. By the way, what has been your experience online?

Hi Francisco. I'm finding it a great place to try things out, and I have met women (and will meet more). I don't find it possible to give no information before a date, but I am aware of my goal - to date women, not to get stuck in no-mans land on the internet. I think the main benefit I have had recently is the opportunity to try different approaches and tactics out in a low-risk environment.

In the case of the woman who prompted this thread, I got her phone number and arranged a date over the phone, only to to have her come back and ask me to tell her some more about me. That suggests to me that I may not have spent enough time or attention on her before getting the date, so she didn't really feel committed to it. Time will tell whether I'll actually meet her. I'll try and let you all know.