She Wants To Bring a Friend To The Bar... Building Social Value or LJBF move?

[tsmith2334]

After 2 very successful dates (Coffee Date with IOI's through the ceiling: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=168324 and movie/dinner: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=169578) I went ahead and asked her if she wanted to hang out again.

I suggested we get drinks tomorrow night and she said sure. She did tell me though, that she had already made plans with one of her girlfriends and then asked me if it was okay if the friend came with. I said no problem.

So... how do I interpret this?

A) IOI. She likes me enough she'll agree to see me despite having tentative plans

B) Social Value Test. She's sees potential in me as a BF (or hook-up) and is wondering if her girlfriends will like me/ approve

^ for the record this is the first time I'd be meeting any of her friends

C) Textbook LJBF move. The beginning of the end

A, B, C?????

Also, do I go for the iso/ kiss close (hasn't happened yet) or just wait until the next one-on-one date??

 

[tsmith2334]

Oh, I also plan on bringing one of my friends now as well.

Build up some SV on my end.

Myself and two girls would be way too platonic.

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

After 2 very successful dates (Coffee Date with IOI's through the ceiling: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=168324 and movie/dinner: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=169578) I went ahead and asked her if she wanted to hang out again.

I suggested we get drinks tomorrow night and she said sure. She did tell me though, that she had already made plans with one of her girlfriends and then asked me if it was okay if the friend came with. I said no problem.

So... how do I interpret this?

None of the above. She's seeing if you want to fit into her life vs her fitting into your life. You'll basically be tagging along with her and her friend in their world. They'll have their own frame for all of what is going on.

She really likes you but she's checking if you have better things to do than hang out with her and her girlfriend. If you cancel with a "i have friends from out of town doing stuff" you'll only increase her interest in a very casual non-explanatory way.

Oh, I also plan on bringing one of my friends now as well.

Build up some SV on my end.

Myself and two girls would be way too platonic.

Just saw that when I posted. That's a good way to deal with it and you saw the trap as well with you alone.

Good man, you're on your way.

 

[PlaysToWin]

This is a very good question. I can't wait to hear from you what the actual answer turns out to be.

In my opinion, I'd rule out B. If she was in to you, she wouldn't then ask another friend to tag along, she'd want you to herself.

A and C are plausable. My best guess is that she is leaning towards C but the situation might be salvageable and btw bringing along a friend is a good move.

Though it could just be A: that she had other plans and wanted to accomodate you as well as her existing engagement.

 

[tsmith2334]

None of the above. She's seeing if you want to fit into her life vs her fitting into your life. You'll basically be tagging along with her and her friend in their world. They'll have their own frame for all of what is going on.

Dude, thanks. Your input is much appreciated.

What do you mean by the bolded?

For what it's worth, I'm still calling the shots on this one... in terms of making plans anyway. I'm picking the place, what time to meet, etc.

In my opinion, I'd rule out B. If she was in to you, she wouldn't then ask another friend to tag along, she'd want you to herself.

I think they legit had plans before I asked her to hang out, so I'm glad we're still getting together regardless. Don't forget, she ASKED me if her friend could come with. I said no problem.

You know what's cool about this for me? She's a former 1-itis and when I asked her to hang out a couple years ago, she used to tell me couldn't because she already had plans with her girlfriends.

It's awesome to see how things have changed since then.

Thanks both of your for your input.

 

[horaholic]

Normally, I'd agree with the above posters, but the way you worded it says that she likes you enough to bring you along on a date with her girlfreind. Its not as though she agreed to the date with you, but brings a friend along. She already had plans, but is bringing you along.If anything, that is good.

To me, that says: "I made plans with my friend already, but I like you, so i'll bring you along, rather than say no to you."

whether its a good idea to go with them both is another story, but her intentions are good. You might want to reschedule with her when you can be alone, but I dont see this as an ljbf on her part.

 

[jophil28]

Normally, I'd agree with the above posters, but the way you worded it says that she likes you enough to bring you along on a date with her girlfreind. Its not as though she agreed to the date with you, but brings a friend along. She already had plans, but is bringing you along.If anything, that is good.

To me, that says: "I made plans with my friend already, but I like you, so i'll bring you along, rather than say no to you."

whether its a good idea to go with them both is another story, but her intentions are good. You might want to reschedule with her when you can be alone, but I dont see this as an ljbf on her part.

Yes, good answer Horaholic. Frankly I am surprised that this needed a thread at all - this is not really a problem that needs a solution. It is kinda obvious what is happening here.

These situations are relatively common in the first few weeks of dating a new woman. She did have another life before you, remember..

When you called her and invited her out a third time, she had already booked that time with her G/f, so she did the smartest thing and invited you to join them BECAUSE SHE WANTED YOU ALONG. She is starting to integrate you into her life, and if you feel the urge , you should include her in your life too.

All good.

 

[Dante420]

Normally, I'd agree with the above posters, but the way you worded it says that she likes you enough to bring you along on a date with her girlfreind. Its not as though she agreed to the date with you, but brings a friend along. She already had plans, but is bringing you along.If anything, that is good.

To me, that says: "I made plans with my friend already, but I like you, so i'll bring you along, rather than say no to you."

whether its a good idea to go with them both is another story, but her intentions are good. You might want to reschedule with her when you can be alone, but I dont see this as an ljbf on her part.

This is exactly what I was thinking. The way the OP worded it, this is the one case where this sounds okay.