she wants my attention. I ask her out. No response. But wants my attention AGAIN? wtp

[hop On hop Off]

I don't get this. I have asked my housemate to different activities: out to a housemate trip, to church, one-on-one going out. She says yes 50% the time, which I assume she doesn't like me. THAT'S FINE, but...

When I come home every night, start talking to my housemates in the living room, she comes down pretending to get water, or grab something from the fridge. Fishing for my attention. I ignore her, continue laughing and talking with everyone else. She goes back to her room.

My plan is NC/cold shoulder weekdays, and suddenly approach on the weekend, ask her to do something with me. She seems bit confused by my action, which is good.

The thing I don't get is: you(the girl) try so hard to get my attention weekdays, and you get ignored. And then when I ask you out on the weekend, you refuse to come 50% of the time?! What do you want? I am ignoring her partially because of this behavior.

What does she want? Whip me around? That's not gonna happen. So, what's a good fix to this? Yes, I am interested in the girl.

 

[hop On hop Off]

Ok, fair enough.
Thanks for the tough words. You definitely helped me instill some decency in me. Time to treat her like a friend.

 

[hudpes]

My bet is she actually likes you, but doesn't want a relationship with you because you are flatmates. So she's nice to you during weekdays because there will be no attack but come weekend, she's being bombarded and evades the girlfriend-boyfriend zone of action, she won't allow herself to be put in a position which you could understand as a go-ahead. Do like you said, treat her like a friend, but still be a man about it, so also treat her like a gentleman would, with that, you can only gain.

 

[hop On hop Off]

My bet is she actually likes you, but doesn't want a relationship with you because you are flatmates. So she's nice to you during weekdays because there will be no attack but come weekend, she's being bombarded and evades the girlfriend-boyfriend zone of action, she won't allow herself to be put in a position which you could understand as a go-ahead. Do like you said, treat her like a friend, but still be a man about it, so also treat her like a gentleman would, with that, you can only gain.

hudpes,
After watching her through her actions, I think you are actually right. It's probably a good thing that she's moving out this month. I can ask her out like a normal person.

This morning, I sporadically decided to slip a paper through her door. I asked her to confirm our outing, and see if she uses the chat app with my username. She added me a few minutes later. Teased her a bit in during the chat, she replied with smiley faces and quick message. I told her I have to go.

I logged off, came downstairs to see her how she would act. She talked and laughed with me like nothing happened. No crazy eye-rolling reactions.

Not sure if she feel pressured when she agreed to go out with me. She asked if she could bring the girl housemate. I told her if she doesn't feel comfortable, she should.(I sounded quite nervous) I told her I am doing this because I am obligated to, this is a pair of tickets from my pastor. (she didn't even ask)

Should I make this outing exclusive? Use this time to build rapport and chemistry.

The downside of exclusive is, our conversation probably will get boring. I will be nervous, I won't know what to talk about. I have until tomorrow to decide.

Alternatively, I can put some good music like Tiësto, and build the adrenaline that way.

Last time in my car, our conversation was dry. I was nervousness turned into anxiety. My mind blanked out, she sensed it, and tried to talk me out.

So, should I take the opportunity to go exclusive or bring more housemate and continue treating her like a friend?

btw, as far as drama goes, I think she's pretty much seen it all with me.