She wants couple of weeks to 'decide'

[Alpheta]

You should have just left instead of asking her and giving her an ultimatum. You gave her all the power. Leave her and if she cared she would know what she is missing and rethink her decision.

The thing is im the one who laid out the rules.

Ie. i said to her that she shouldnt bbother getting back to me if he decides against it and should just holla if she is for it. She asked how about friends. and i said no we delete contacts etc. Plus she was the last one to text so it makes me feel a tad bit better lol. IF she does reply, i will deff give it 2 weeks until i reply.

 

[Boxer00]

Needing space = needing time to break away.

It's her decision which is not a good position to be in. Her choice should always be YOU over anybody.

 

[GS750]

She needs time to decide. Give her all the time in the world, but not while you sit idle and wait. Drop her. She's far from making you a priority.

 

[Alpheta]

She needs time to decide. Give her all the time in the world, but not while you sit idle and wait. Drop her. She's far from making you a priority.

I dont intend to back with her anymore.

A text would be good as itll shift the power and ill be gone.

Right now i just cant bear it that this 5/10 thinks she is the shizz lol

 

[zinc4]

Dump her go find a slut...take a sharper marker write your name on the new girls ass with you licking it take a picand send it to her saying audios I decided to upgrade and NC from then on. Get a prostitute if u have to. It's get to the point where u need to be ruthless with these women to show them they ****ed up by disrespecting you.

 

[nismo-4]

Dump her go find a slut...take a sharper marker write your name on the new girls ass with you licking it take a picand send it to her saying audios I decided to upgrade and NC from then on. Get a prostitute if u have to. It's get to the point where u need to be ruthless with these women to show them they ****ed up by disrespecting you.

She won't care anyway. She'll just rejoice you moved on and you saved her the trouble of having to cut you off. And it'll drive her over to the new guy 10 times quicker.

 

[DragonBlood]

She won't care anyway. She'll just rejoice you moved on and you saved her the trouble of having to cut you off. And it'll drive her over to the new guy 10 times quicker.

This is exactly why I have so little faith that NC, jealously and moving on actually increase a womans interest level. Is there no middle ground beside "moving on" (defeat), which makes the other guys life easier. And actually something that increases attraction?

From my personal perspective no judgement and positive emotions while in a semi-NC would be the best choice? If she sees no hope of getting you back or that there is too much competition she will just go into auto-rejection. Girls, like us, are so afraid of being rejected you have to be at least somewhat attainable.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

This is exactly why I have so little faith that NC, jealously and moving on actually increase a womans interest level. Is there no middle ground beside "moving on" (defeat), which makes the other guys life easier. And actually something that increases attraction?

From my personal perspective no judgement and positive emotions while in a semi-NC would be the best choice? If she sees no hope of getting you back or that there is too much competition she will just go into auto-rejection.

"Moving on" is not defeat at all. Being with her is.

You don't move on because you want to get your attention, you move on because it's the right thing to do.

Women ALWAYS will come back sniffing around after you have moved on with life, especially if you appear to be doing well and successful. And you WILL, because after a bad relationship you will take care of yourself and not allow another bad relationship, you will look good to her.

 

[DragonBlood]

I agree with you DLS, especially on moving on being something you do for you.

What Im pointing out though is auto-rejection and attainability.

I made this mistake for example on a traditional girl where I had a relaxed air about sexuality and relationships to try and increase desirability and give her a "new world" to explore. This did work at increasing her interest, but because she felt intimidated and out of her league, even though the value was there, she went into auto-rejection. It just made her more self conscious of how difficult it would be to keep me around.

I believe if you go hard on NC and jealousy the girl will not sniff around. The risk of rejection can get too high which would damage her self esteem/ego. Basically she values her self image more than the risk involved in getting you back. You need to maintain attraction and a strong frame, but on the flip side women will always be risk-averse.

This is why I see NC as an oversimplification to many different problems on this board.

 

[Alpheta]

lol so i just txted her.....

IM gna learn the hard way but meh o well i couldnt stand looking at my phone rryday.

Some closure will help me move on.

^^excuse i know lol

 

[Alpheta]

I just got to the point and asked her what the situation is.

SHes gone gym right now so yea..

anyway of me coming out abit dignified in this?

I feel like chit

 

[Lozboss]

Close this thread. Alpheta doesn't want help.

I don't get why people ask for advice and don't follow it- stop wasting people's time.

 

[DragonBlood]

I feel like chit

Thats because you did the wrong thing. That feeling in the pit of your stomach is your self worth slipping away.

My advice? Put pictures of new girls on your facebook and actively avoid this girl for 2 months. Also, never text again unless she reaches out FIRST. She will move on without you, but hopefully along the way you wont care. Whatever chance you have of "getting her back" you have to kill all your BS behavior and walk away from an unhealthy dynamic. Maybe at some point in the distant future (5 years) things will change, but right now the dynamic is just too unhealthy to go anywhere and you have to leave it alone.

 

[Alpheta]

Thats because you did the wrong thing. That feeling in the pit of your stomach is your self worth slipping away.

My advice? Put pictures of new girls on your facebook and actively avoid this girl for 2 months. Also, never text again unless she reaches out FIRST. She will move on without you, but hopefully along the way you wont care. Whatever chance you have of "getting her back" you have to kill all your BS behavior and walk away from an unhealthy dynamic. Maybe at some point in the distant future (5 years) things will change, but right now the dynamic is just too unhealthy to go anywhere and you have to leave it alone.

okay i have an update.

chit seems to have turned on its head.

She called after we texted a bit and kept dogding my question 'do you want it or not. yes or no' so i hung up lol...

now shes rang me countless times and texted 'tll me wen to ring' ' we arent done yet'

i thought i couldnt get out of this chit but seems like i can leave with some dignity after all..


what do????

 

[Alpheta]

She wanted 2 weeks apart from you. HER WORDS.

Now she is trying to change that back.

You are a puppet. How do you like being a puppet?? Dancing around whilst she fvcks up your emotions to match her own.

Who knows WHY she is changing back and forth? Is it a game? Legit mixed emotions? Who cares?


She dropped the gauntlet.............teach her a fvcking lesson or you will forever be jumping through hoops.

" Hi, you wanted a 2 week break, so I am giving you that. Don't contact me in any way shape or form for 2 weeks, I won't respond. Consider yourself single during this time period, as will I. "

ive ignored her for now.

She just texted again saying 'r u gna ignore everything from now on?'
'are u done or something?'
'tell me'
'coz i wanted to tell u some stuff i found out today'

^^just LOL

she wants validation.I aint giving it.

I feel so good where I am. 2 weeks of suffering for this bish?

 

[DragonBlood]

'tll me wen to ring' ' we arent done yet'

Shes a dog with a bone. Somewhere in your desperation you showed a moment of balls and hanged up the phone. At best though this is just feeding into her games. Sounds like she just wants to get you back on the phone to continue pointless drama, not to move things forward. Shes just annoyed that you would hit her ego like that because she was fairly sure she had you in a corner. I took that "we arent done yet" as in we arent done fighting, it was an emotional response of anger for standing up for yourself. Your not allowed to have an opinion in this girls world. She is the one who decides everything.

Dont confuse this one response and games that follow for real attraction. The kind where a girl begs you for sex over the phone and makes excuses to hang out without your permission or intervention. You made a good move in a game you shouldnt be playing.

I would follow Mausers advice and just continue to ignore anyway. I would take it one step further though and just continue to go about your business like the whole conversation and your interest never happened. After two weeks make no attempts at anything. Just be friendly and positive and break the cycle of games. As I said previously you need to step away from this unhealthy dynamic, potentially for months or years, if you ever expect it to improve. If she wants your d!ck she will let you know. No games, confusion or guess work required.

 

[icantgetlaid]

It sounds like you are more interested in your fragile ego than winning over this girl ... you need therapy, not advice from this community.