She txts, she tests, Success?

[Lion]

Last night I hooked up with a girl who I've seen for 2 dates. She convinced me to stay round hers last night and things really went well, up all night giving it to her :woo:


Tonight she sent me a txt asking if we were "friends with benefits or something else?"

Last night we agreed, after not using protection that she should take the morning after for precaution, though I was so nervous I managed to stay hard for hours but not come.

So I picked her up today and we got it, then had a coffee. I was keeping it fun and bought her some ginger to help with the pill reaction.

She seems to respect me and compliments me a lot. I try to either say thanks or be C&F about it.


Anyway, she txted me tonight thanking me for coming with her to get the pill etc... and how she "wondered how I feel" and "friends or something else"?


I like her and want to take things slowly, but what should I say?


I'd like to say "something more" but as a challenge I don't want her to know this.


Also last night in the club,
I meant it to be a joke but I blurted out..."thats why Im going out with you, just because you're a musician" (As she was complimenting me for being musical)

Her: Oh so you're going out with me *smiling*
I: I mean we have come out with each other tonight, lets just say we are gd aquaintances.....
Her:Yes very good aquaintances.


Thanks to all the replies to my last post, you helped a great deal

 

[md3sign]

First off, congrats on the conquest :woo:

Don't let up on this girl, especially if you want her to stick around. By giving it up to you, she essentially transferred to power of the relationship to you. Sex is, more or less, a woman's only real source of power and now she wants it back. The second you say "yes I like you, yes we're dating, yes we're boyfriend/girlfriend", you give the power back to her. Keep her guessing. Obviously show your interest and keep having fun with her - show her through your actions that you enjoy her company. Words are cheap. Be a man of action.

 

[Lion]

Thanks md3sign, I'm struggling as to what to reply with, I don't want to take her options and friendsWB sounds awful as I quite enjoy this girls company and friendsWB sounds like she wants to see other guys....?

I've got the power, cool mother, guess I can always avoid her question and just say I enjoy her company?

I'm comfortable with expressing myself face to face, and I like to call to arrange dates.......

Its just the whole txt thing is difficult for me, especially as I've seen her every day this wkend and holding out till next wkend is of the DJ order.

 

[Ace of Flames]

Ask her something along the lines of "Well what do you think?". Never give her the plain straight answer she's looking for. Everytime she asks, just dance around the subject with your words, yet show her your real answer with your actions.

The label of gf/bf is just that: a label. You can 'be together' without technically saying it. Eventually you'll both just understand that you are together.

If you want to be slick about it, try this. The next time you are introducing her to someone, like a friend of yours, introduce her as your gf. She'll most likely turn and look at you with a surprised expression, maybe even say something like "What?!". When that happens, just smile and stand your ground. The more cool and calm you are about it, the better. She'll get the message, and you'll get a big kiss or more later on. ^_^

 

[Phyzzle]

Two dates? Two????

You need to tell her that at least ten will be needed before you decide on any relationship. Seriously. That's what I do when a chick asks more for commitment, and women will do ANYTHING to keep me through those 10 dates.

 

[Ripper]

Sometimes you don't have to say anything. I would treat this as such an occasion and let, like ace said, your actions speak for themselves. Seriously, if she texts, don't reply, if she asks you to your face, just smile and carry on.

 

[Omni]

she "wondered how I feel" and "friends or something else"? I like her and want to take things slowly, but what should I say?

The answer to a question that means "what exactly is our relationship?" is "What do YOU want it to be"? This puts the ball in her court without revealing anything... and if she asks you again after giving her answer, you casually tell her that it's too soon for you to make that sort of decision.

 

[JustDoItAlways]

Her main question is "do you think I'm a slut now?"

The secondary is just feeling you out for how you feel about her and thirdly, whether this was just a ONS.

But if you have decided you just want this girl as a FB, now is the time to directly answer her back with "I do like you a lot and I was thinking FBs would be best for now. Let's hook-up again this week." You might as well get that out in the open before more of her feelings are involved.

If you want her as more than a FB, you do not answer this question directly. She has to be the one to decide let's just be FBs or let's see where it goes in that case.

So you can answer - "Absolutely. Let's go out again this week."

Basically, you are not answering her question but you are also telling her she is not a slut and you are telling her you are not a gun and run guy.

She will probably text you back restating the question again with different words or a different tact. You answer the same way using different words, same as her. Maybe she will try again. You could have some fun texting back and forth and build further rapport with her.

 

[Jay Jay]

I'm impressed.

You played solid game methinks. Nice touch hanging out with her while she is dealing with the morning after... Actions speak louder than words and you have given her a great answer.

"I am a good guy and I totally respect you." Continue to let your actions say this while keeping her a bit off balance with your words.

Every comment above is really good.

I think you'll be okay.

JJ

 

[md3sign]

Lion, a couple other things:

1) If you like her and she asks you directly "do you like me", you can still give her a satisfactory answer to all 3 of her questions (slut? ONS? feelings?). Just reply "I want to see you again. What are you doing on ___?"

2) If you want to just be FBs with her, be a man and let her know up front. She'll respect you for it and might even be up for it.

Case in point: there was a girl I slept with the first night we hung out near the end of last year. I decided about a week later I didn't want to lead her on and I told her straight out, in a text, "I think you're a great girl but I don't want to lead you on - I don't feel the connection. I just wanted to get this out before the new year." to which she replied "that's fine with me". Then last night she sends me a text "just wanted to say hi" .... hmm.