She texts me after NC for over a week....

[Brian Drake]

I have a question regarding odd behavior from a female. I know, I know....but I am genuinely curious about her actions in this case and would appreciate input.

Two weeks ago I had a date with a nice girl; we talked; we had a decent chat; there wasn't much chemistry there but I was willing to try again since first dates can be tough. However, she never returned my call. Okay, fine. NC and NEXT! from there on out. A week and a half go by...

Today I get a text from her with a laundry list of reasons why she never got back to me and she ends it with "I had a nice time but I didn't feel a romantic connection, can we be friends?" and my answer is, of course, no. I got friends. I haven't responded to her. I don't intent to respond.

But my question to you guys is this: why is she breaking a week and a half of silence when she's, essentially, free and clear of me and has by now realized that I'm not going to stalk her like an AFC?

 

[HalfPUAHalfAFC]

Several possibilities, none of which suggest you should take her up on her offer:

1. Attention seeking. When you did not follow up, it showed you were not interested and she did not like that.

2. She had you on the backburner thinking she had a better option elsewhere. That option fell through and now she testing your waters (no biggie, us guys do this all the time). But you are not looking for friends.

3. She really wants to be friends; she's building a social circle. But you have friends. However, it is possible she could be a pivot for you.

4. By not contacting her, that gave you hand. It's driving her hamster crazy. She now knows you were not interested in her and, well, she cannot let that stand.

5. She's looking for an orbiter to bump up her ego.

And I'm sure there's other possibilities too.

 

[Brian Drake]

Y'all have articulated exactly what I was thinking but unable to phrase. Thanks!

 

[MisterD]

I think it's a combo of all the reasons listed by the gentlemen before me.

Add in the ego element. She was expecting you to continue chasing her, initiating contact and whatnot. She got back to you as sort of this "you can't fire me because I quit" mentality.

Understand that most women, even the average ones, do the bulk of friend zoning/rejecting. Most men these days are betas. So anytime you act out of what they're used to or expect, they go hog wild in that head of theirs.

You're probably the first dude to go cold on her. She wanted to save face and maintain the upperhand in her mind, by rejecting you, even though you had not spoken to her in a week.

 

[WorkingDJ]

I would use her as a branch to swing on. Just me..

 

[Trump]

But my question to you guys is this: why is she breaking a week and a half of silence when she's, essentially, free and clear of me and has by now realized that I'm not going to stalk her like an AFC?

This is easy...protect her ego so she's not the bad guy in case her friends or other people want to know what happened.

If she ignores you, you got her. You can tell others this girl is a jerk, she ignores people. By sending you the text she has proof she is a nice girl who didn't ignore you, just didn't feel the romantic connection.

 

[Zarky]

Today I get a text from her with a laundry list of reasons why she never got back to me

I'd point blank ask her, "Why are you telling me all this?"

there wasn't much chemistry there but I was willing to try again

Never try again if there's no chemistry on the first date.

 

[bigneil]

Two weeks ago I had a date with a nice girl; we talked; we had a decent chat; there wasn't much chemistry there but I was willing to try again since first dates can be tough. However, she never returned my call. Okay, fine. NC and NEXT! from there on out. A week and a half go by...

Today I get a text from her with a laundry list of reasons why she never got back to me and she ends it with "I had a nice time but I didn't feel a romantic connection, can we be friends?" and my answer is, of course, no. I got friends. I haven't responded to her. I don't intent to respond.

But my question to you guys is this: why is she breaking a week and a half of silence when she's, essentially, free and clear of me and has by now realized that I'm not going to stalk her like an AFC?

Red flags in bold.

As soon as I read the first one "no chemistry on the first date" I knew it was trouble. There should be incredible chemistry early on. That means she initiates touching, kissing and texting after the date. When you bring her to your house she should invite herself in. When you are on your couch watching a movie she should interrupt to make out or ask you to go to your bedroom. First dates should NOT be tough. Something else is wrong.

Give credit to women who state things so clearly. Remember, there are only 2 main ways she ends it:

1) She just didn't feel a romantic connection (it wasn't there).
2) She doesn't feel a romantic connection anymore (salvagable).

 

[yuppaz]

As soon as YOU said you thought there wasn't chemistry that should be that.

 

[Cremasta]

I think I'd just respond "Ok", then delete her number and never contact her again.

Only deal with this woman if she's offering you something like setting you up with her HB9 younger sister. Absolutely do NOT become just another guy 'friend' who does stuff for her or is another shoulder to cry on.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Ha ha! She's LJBF-ing you to try to take back the frame.
She thinks you'll respond, grateful for her huge show of generosity.

Do NOT reply. Keep that hamster running its fvcking arse off.