"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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She tells her friends she has me "wrapped around her fingers"

The Great One

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So I was thinking about asking this girl to prom, (lets call her "girl A") and randomly today, her friend (girl b) and I start talking. I haven't told anyone I was planning on asking "girl a" but me and "girl b" get on the topic of who I am going with. I said i'm not sure, and then she goes on to tell me that "girl a" says I am her backup plan. So of course I instantly start to think, NEXT, but then "girl b" goes on to tell me how "girl a" says that she has me wrapped around her finger, and that I am her b****. Now, prom is about 3 weeks away and it looks like girl a's first choice is going with somebody else. So what should I say to her if/when she asks me, and what should I do about her in general?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Skilla_Staz

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I wouldn't like being a back up plan. Find another date. Make it quick though, last minute preperations suck for girls.
 

Patrick124

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find a date fast. adn if she brings up the topic say "I'm sorry i have a date. if she had said no, then maybe i woulda considered you..but she didnt :)"
 

Skilla_Staz

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ha just drop the "if she had said no" stuff

If you get a date, and she asks. A simple "Can't babe, got a date already"

make sure its a cute girl too ;) it'll add to the jealousy
 

Mr_rogers

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I'd be a real bastard and not tell her until the last possible moment. Screw her out of any date whatsoever.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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The Great One

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Also, if I don't end up finding another date, should I next her anyway and go single?
 

Zerotwoonenine

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Firstly, say to her:"you think you got me wrapped around your finger?? think again. You can play your stupid little games somewhere else because even if you are the last person on earth, i will not go to the prom with you."
You next girl A and if girl B is hot, ask her to the prom.
 

dannowillbookem

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tell her maybe we should go, but youre not sure right now. cut it off at that, i mean whatever you have to do change the subject.

then get another date. next time prom comes up in a conversation (force it at some point that isnt cruel, but not comfortable either...maybe two weeks before prom?) mention like its jsut another fact "oh yeah, i'm going with alicia" or whatever. if she reacts badly, says "sorry, you were my backup plan"

if you cant find another date, take her. the first statement i told you to make to her will keep her wondering until you officially ask, at least winning you some hand back.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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dannowillbookem

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Dodgeball said:
sounds like girl b is a tad jealous?
ah a possibility! now you'll have to look through your catalogue of ioi's you've noticed from girl b and see if there is any possible attraction. i was gonna say, it seems like a realllllllly ballsy thing for girl a to talk about with her friends, and a reallllly traitorous thing for girl b to tell to you.
 

Skilla_Staz

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It makes perfect sense.
 

The Great One

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No, girl B isn't jealous. She is the hot female friend of mine that always hooks me up. Still don't know what to do about girl a.
 

LikRetsam

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I think having her saying you're wrapped around her finger is a perfect opportunity to change the situation around.

And there is nothing wrong with being a back up plan. There are hotter guys out there than you.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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