"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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She suddenly shows signs of a crush

Lambda

Don Juan
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I have to ask you guys that have been dealing with a lot of girls: Does it ever happen that a girl is indecisive wether she finds a guy she has known for two years attractive or not? Or could it change? I guess I have to be more specific:

I always hear that a girl decides wether a guy is attractive or not within a short time. So lets say that she has known a guy for one year and not found him sexually attractive, then after this period she suddenly finds him attractive, or at least SEEM to find him attractive. After this it seem to change forth and back for periods of time. Is this possible?

I'm not talking about myself, but about another guy. I would not consider him as the kind of guy who pulls a lot of women (he' smart, but kinda nerdy and quiet/shy). I've also seen her calling him "buddy" in an email.

For one year the girl I'm talking about showed him no special attention. Then she suddenly seem to have a crush for periods of time, but there's not much consistency. Won't a girl always KNOW wether a guy is attractive to them or not, and isn't this likely to not change?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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horaholic

Master Don Juan
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Dude, you never know ANYTHING with chicks. Where have you been?

EDIT: let me rephrase that: Chicks NEVER know what the fvck they want or dont, so never be surprised about their decisions.
 

The_411

Master Don Juan
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Funny how it's always a friend that needs help. If it's his problem then tell him to get his ass on here.
 

pLaYtHiNg

Senior Don Juan
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I agree with horaholic. I have been in situations before where I wasn't sure if I was attracted to someone or not, and kept guys around as friends who I had inconsistent attractions to. I cannot explain why this is, but it does happen. My guess is there is NO attraction, and the times where there seems to be interest is just the girl on an "off" day, perhaps trying to boost her self confidence with someone she knows won't reject her.

That's kind of cheating, isn't it? One should never seek validation in others. It has to come from within to be worth anything.


ETA: (I've reached my post limit) :(

GuanYu - "I don't think it's cheating, you're simply using those males for validation knowing that their chumps and will hang around for a chance to smash."

Uhm, that's exactly why it's cheating. It doesn't mean anything coming from a chump. It's like playing checkers by yourself. Not much of a challenge and you know you'll win.

IF one is going to seek validation in others, (which I think is unhealthy), at least seek it in someone who's not automatically a slam-dunk.
 

GuanYu

Senior Don Juan
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I don't think it's cheating, you're simply using those males for validation knowing that their chumps and will hang around for a chance to smash.

It's those very guys that should put a dart between their eyes since they're too pvssy to move the hell on and get chicks that will actually give them a real chance instead of a sense of hope.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

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