She Suddenly Backed Off

[oe88]

Hi,

There is a girl in my class which I am interested for some time. We take the same classes. To be honest, I did everything to gain her attraction. I called her often, helped her complete her assignment even helped her to land on an sought-after internship. We hanged out a couple of times at night, but not much of a physical escalation happened. Usually I was the the asking to go out, but lastly she asked to go to movies sometime. I arranged the time and when I called to clarify, she disappeared on me, did not reply my texts or call back. She suddenly became very hard to contact and reach to. She used to text me almost every day, but now she even answers my texts with one word answers let alone initiate contact.

I wonder whether I should flat out tell her that I like her or just ignore her. The reason is this situation started to get me obsessed and bring down my slef-confidence.

What do you think? Should I confront her about her last "backing-off", tell her I like her or just ignore her?

 

[AttackFormation]

You did everything to gain her attraction? no, you did everything to make her see you as a beta resource fridge.

1) You don't "do" things for her to make her attracted to you (especially not often), you "ARE" attractive to her
2) You hung out without physical escalation (a practically guaranteed way to make a girl feel awkward about you romantically unless SHE is the one with the crush on YOU or you're just friends)

Flat out tell her that you like her? and in this situation too? boy am I glad you found this forum. Also you can't "ignore" someone who has already dropped you. You don't need to do anything and shouldn't try to, just move on. Nothing about her backing off was sudden if you're at all game aware.

This is just a primer... I'll leave the meaty bits to the senior DJs.

 

[SgtSplacker]

You just did exactly the opposite of what you needed to do to get that girl man.

Read the links at the bottom of the page dude. Mainly the DJ bible, you're starting at the beginning.

You are what is called an AFC.
Average Frustrated Chump

Now stop and let that sink in, internalize it. Imagine your old chump self standing next to you. Turn your back to it and walk away, leaving it behind FOREVER. Open your eyes to a new world where women serve you, not the other way around.

 

[oe88]

Thanks for all the replies.

When I look back today, I see that I totally screwed up by not escalating when we hanged out. However, she just asked to hanged out a month ago but when I arranged a date, she went ghost. That bothers me most. I would be much less humiliated, if she flat out rejected me.

I guess there is no way to salvage the situation at the moment?

 

[AttackFormation]

I guess there is no way to salvage the situation at the moment?

You've already salvaged it by looking back at it and then moving on

Also don't beat yourself up too much about not escalating it if she already saw you as a beta provider when you hung out. If she has already had ample time to determine that she doesn't want to f*ck you, is just using you and most likely has some other guy's d1ck she goes to suck or intends to, she won't be as inviting or receptive to sudden physical escalation from you anyway unless you transformed into Bruce Wayne overnight.

 

[Helpabrotherout]

You came to the right place. I'm new here and the reason I joined is the same as yours. Sick of getting friendzoned and wondering what I'm doing wrong? Trying to win a girl over. Doesn't work! I've lost many good looking girls to this. Some (like the recent one that I seen as a potential ltr) I got the let's talk for now, just as friends. SOB! No more I said. First off it sucks! Second of all it's not the first. I was a chump. Tended to one girl. That's it. All my attention. I came here for help and with my first post I got it. I've learnt a lot just from the dj bibe. What I've come to learn and correct me if I'm wrong about this here guys I'd appreciate it, you gotta be interesting. Keep your answers short. Stay a mystery to them. With social networking and simply texting and talking that's a game in it's self, don't over play it because it gets your nowhere. Trust me. Gain self control of fighting that urge of texting a girl that you're into right back as soon as you get her text. Shows you're needy if you're always there. Besides real men are busy. Another thing make them do the work, if they're interested and if you're at all a catch they will work for you, if not dump! Read the dj bible on that. Also another thing I've come to learn is that people want what they can't have. Just think about that. Protect your heart and read the dj bible.

 

[oe88]

Thanks for the advice man. It is good to see people having same sort of problems with me and turn their life around.

I usually do not have any problem in talking or building rapport with women. However, I can not ascertain if they are just being nice or are interested in more than that. However, after hanging out a couple of times, they back off suddenly and this crushes my self-esteem.

The last girl I was talking about, she used to text me every other day a couple of months ago, but now I am lucky if I can reach her when I call. A month ago, she wanted to hang out but when I arranged a date, she went ghost and disappeared on me. I asked her if anything is wrong and she said no.

Honestly, this situation is wearing me down. I would be much more happy if she flat out said, she is not interested and does not want to hang out with me. I know that I get super-nice and wussy to women I am interested in, but at least I deserve a decent answer after all the things I have done for her.

 

[Helpabrotherout]

All you can do now is change. You said you get super nice to a girl you're interested in. It doesn't work. This girl sees you as a friend and that's all you are now and chances are you always will be. She hasent texted you because she knows you're interested, knows you're there and might call on you for advice or some help maybe but other than that she knows she can have you so move on, leave it be and get some other babes number and see what you did wrong and learn from it. Don't make the mistake with the next. There's millions of ways to meet new girls. There's plenty of them.
It's wearing you down because you probably connected with this girl and painted a picture of what it would be like to be with her. There's nothing to salvage, move on and get some numbers like I said. Don't put all your attention on one girl unless you've been seeing her awhile and she shows that she will probably stick around but even then guard you're heart. All you can do now is move on, get numbers and read the bible. Read the 15 lessons and the anti dump machine. There's a lot to read but it's worth it.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Your "situation" isn't that one girl.

Your situation is that you are an AFC (which we all were when first starting out). There's no shame in that... only shame if you stay that way once the light is turned on. The light has been turned on.

Get to the DJ Bible and keep reading the forum.

 

[Greasy Pig]

The real question is what will you do if she reaches out just before the next exam offering to hang out and study?
If you're here and you're serious about treading this exciting new path to emotional freedom and true DJ-ism, you have to reject her if she does that.

You don't have to be a pryck. Just make an excuse to be unavailable.
Don't tell her you're upset about how she just tossed you aside last time you helped her, just cheerfully decline and be on your merry way.

If you think her reaching out is a sign of interest, you are mistaken. Do not take the bait and don't let her know you're p1ssed off.
Too many guys are afraid to offend a woman but it's the paradox of game that offending them (ie standing up for yourself, not being afraid to disagree with her, not helping her with school) is exactly what will get you laid.

Read the DJ Bible and steel yourself for the true tests to come.

 

[nismo-4]

What's the weather in Fort Blueballs, Indiana?

Hi,

There is a girl in my class which I am interested for some time. We take the same classes. To be honest, I did everything to gain her attraction. I called her often, helped her complete her assignment even helped her to land on an sought-after internship. We hanged out a couple of times at night, but not much of a physical escalation happened. Usually I was the the asking to go out, but lastly she asked to go to movies sometime. I arranged the time and when I called to clarify, she disappeared on me, did not reply my texts or call back. She suddenly became very hard to contact and reach to. She used to text me almost every day, but now she even answers my texts with one word answers let alone initiate contact.

Clingy. Needy. Overavailable. Pick any of these one word texts. Women who are interested in you won't confuse you, and they move mountains to see you. Don't delude yourself, she has low interest thanks to your _______ (one word text).

I wonder whether I should flat out tell her that I like her or just ignore her. The reason is this situation started to get me obsessed and bring down my slef-confidence.

Flat out tell her= Creep her out more, if that's possible.
Just ignore her= You have a better chance of winning. And you have your sanity.

What do you think? Should I confront her about her last "backing-off", tell her I like her or just ignore her?

Confront her= You're desperate.
Say you like her= Great way to scare her off! Never say this sh*t.
Ignore her= FTW! But she wants you to do this anyway.

Read between the lines. The sooner you go ghost, the better. Unless you want to keep being her friend (girlfriend- beta orbiter).

Case closed. Exit the courtroom.

 

[TheGambino]

Welcome to the forum my brother, the DJ Bible is your guidance for know

 

[Maximus Rex]

Called Out on Strikes

To be honest, I did everything to gain her attraction.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEhxBLKlMQM

Make Her Chase You -- The Key To Advanced Level Game

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZosEzFOU7d0

How to Get Girls Chasing YOU

I called her often,

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LtU4gUbJd...0gL1U0-hE/s400/pg-54-umpire-getty_255989t.jpg

helped her complete her assignment

http://image.shutterstock.com/displ...league-game-between-trenton-and-109913957.jpg

even helped her to land on an sought-after internship.

http://thenumerati.net/images/content/Umpire.jpg

We hanged out a couple of times at night, but not much of a physical escalation happened.

http://i.imgur.com/nNVEyu5.jpg

Usually I was the the asking to go out, but lastly she asked to go to movies sometime.

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/347/126/8d3.jpg

I arranged the time and when I called to clarify, she disappeared on me, did not reply my texts or call back. She suddenly became very hard to contact and reach to.

http://sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/i/keep-calm-i-don-t-want-you-38.png

She used to text me almost every day, but now she even answers my texts with one word answers let alone initiate contact.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ViJR_4sCb...nice-guy-like-you-doesnt-want-to-date-you.jpg

I wonder whether I should flat out tell her that I like her or just ignore her. The reason is this situation started to get me obsessed and bring down my slef-confidence. \

http://static5.quoteswave.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Sometimes-You-Not-As-Appealing.jpg

What do you think? Should I confront her about her last "backing-off", tell her I like her or just ignore her?

http://new.healingheartsradio.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Man-surrounded-by-women-1.jpg

http://www.singleblackmale.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/man-surrounded-by-women.jpg

 

[devilkingx2]

you need some rep for that amazing(and hilarious) post rex.

 

[The_411]

Thanks for the advice man. It is good to see people having same sort of problems with me and turn their life around.

I usually do not have any problem in talking or building rapport with women. However, I can not ascertain if they are just being nice or are interested in more than that. However, after hanging out a couple of times, they back off suddenly and this crushes my self-esteem.

The last girl I was talking about, she used to text me every other day a couple of months ago, but now I am lucky if I can reach her when I call. A month ago, she wanted to hang out but when I arranged a date, she went ghost and disappeared on me. I asked her if anything is wrong and she said no.

Honestly, this situation is wearing me down. I would be much more happy if she flat out said, she is not interested and does not want to hang out with me. I know that I get super-nice and wussy to women I am interested in, but at least I deserve a decent answer after all the things I have done for her.

Always assume a woman is interested in you until behavior shows you she's not.

You are wearing yourself down. If a woman is in to you it shouldn't be difficult, fatiguing, tiresome, etc. If it is then get away because that woman will always be a drain on you.

This is suppsoed to be fun and enjoyable. You wouldn't keep spend your leisure time doing boring and uninteresting things so why allow it to be that way with women. It's your time and your dime make sure it's being spent wisely.

Stop hanging out with women unless you are either getting intimate or they are helping you meet other women.

When a woman loses interest the calls are less frequent the texts are less frequent. you don't want to be in this state so when you start interacting don't be available and don't focus on one woman.

 

[oe88]

Thanks all for the replies.

I have been reading DJBible and I see that there are certain things I did wrong. I became too available and attentive, I chased too much, I concentrated too much on a specific girl and I did not make her invest enough. I have not read it all but up until the point I am on, I came up with these "fallacies of my own".

I do not know if there is any interest on her part at the moment or ever was, but from now on I will not contact her unless she contacts me first. If she does not contact me ever, it will become crystal clear that she used me as a free-tutor all along.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Thanks all for the replies.

I have been reading DJBible and I see that there are certain things I did wrong. I became too available and attentive, I chased too much, I concentrated too much on a specific girl and I did not make her invest enough. I have not read it all but up until the point I am on, I came up with these "fallacies of my own".

I do not know if there is any interest on her part at the moment or ever was, but from now on I will not contact her unless she contacts me first. If she does not contact me ever, it will become crystal clear that she used me as a free-tutor all along.

Yeah dude now you're getting it...

If you look into the 48 laws of power there is a law that describes scarcity and scarce things being rare and therefore valuable. You just can't be there all the time. This is one of the reasons everyone here tells you not to text, it just makes you too available.

Ever heard the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder"? Were working on this principle. You're making her miss you, and you are placing yourself above her value by basically saying that you don't have time to engage in idle chit chat all day with her. She will notice this, even sub consciously, and approach you in a different more authoritative/respectful way.

You give her time to desire you, she will think about you all the time. You will become something ideal she creates in her mind. That may or may not really be based on reality. This is very powerful because you become everything she needs based on her ideals, not on what you really are. Now you don't necessarily have to live up to this godly persona. All you have to do is not completely slide into betadom in front of her and you'll be alright.

Women are not like men. They need something to worship, be it clothes, celebrities, money, male models. This type of thing is how women operate. Become what she worships.

An important part of this type of seduction is to show her a really good time when you are together. Go all out and have a blast together, then barely even call her except for the next time you want to see her. You always want to talk to her and be with her, but you just can't. After time you can transition to more open communication. But she needs to feel like she has earned it because she's so cool you are forced to make time out of your busy week (not day) for her.

 

[chath]

honestly thought you were trolling, you crossed off so many DON'T-DOs i chuckled. glad you read the dj bible

 

[oe88]

honestly thought you were trolling, you crossed off so many DON'T-DOs i chuckled. glad you read the dj bible

Thanks for the morale man.

So what would you do if you were me instead?

 

[oe88]

Thanks pal. I know that I have to change. I have been reading DJ Bible and I can see more clearly the mistakes I made all along.

That being said, that girl which crushed my self-esteem was someone I have known for longer than a year. I believe I invested too much without getting any return. I waited for two hours to get her CV to a HR manager I know, in order for her to land on a sought-after internship, for god's sake. And that is only a tiny percent of favors I did for her.

And, now with only a couple of weeks to go before break, I am lucky if I can get her to phone to talk, let alone to hang-out. That is killing me inside.