Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Jariel said:Personally, I'd just say "No problem, let's just watch TV" and then withdraw all my attention - no making out, no flirting, nothing except watching TV. Or even better, you can just leave her watching TV while you do some odd jobs, write some emails or something.
Nothing turns a girl around like withdrawing attention. It makes her realise that she's not in control and doesn't have the power over you she thought she had.
Damn that's rough. I can't say I've ever done anything like that. Though I've never much been in a situation like this. I think I'd feel like a total ass and pretty awkward just going about my business while she was sitting there.Espi said:Yep...the freeze-out. I've used this; a girl refused sex with me, so I ignored her, went in my bedroom, left her standing there in the living room, wondering what I was doing.
Yeah, I do feel like a bit of a bastard when I do things like this, but for me it's not about guilt tripping her into sex; it's more about putting her ego in check.mrRuckus said:Damn that's rough. I can't say I've ever done anything like that. Though I've never much been in a situation like this. I think I'd feel like a total ass and pretty awkward just going about my business while she was sitting there.
What do the girls usually do?
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
And you went, "Yes dear, no sex, whatever you say."fliptone said:so we get to my house and we're jus chillin watchin a movie and talkin about our interests, life and relationships. somehow we get into talking about what we think of eachother and she goes: "i'm not a slut like u think i am.. we're not doing it tonight."
And you say, "Yes dear, I'll kiss your ass. Whatever you say."on top of that, this girl acts like she wants me to kiss her ass
And you say, "Yes dear, no ass-kissing. Whatever you say."then if i do anything the slightest bit that seems like im kissing her ass, she'll say something like "oh shut up.. stop kissing my ass!"
Notice she used the word tonight instead of ever. So she's interested but just doesn't want you to think she's a slut. A girl had me over to her house for dinner as our first date. After dinner when things got a bit heated, she told me she never goes all the way on the first date. I said no problem and spent the night in her bed trying to drive her crazy before falling asleep. When the sun rose in the morning, I was at it again till she finally gave in.fliptone said:... "i'm not a slut like u think i am.. we're not doing it tonight."...