she showed interest, she is cold and hot, anti-slvt defense is stopping us

[princess_124]

I have been quite depressed these past couple of days. She has moved out, disappeared in the crowded traffic.

I was told her work rent a house for the handful employees. Her co-work is taking her to work. She no longer has to pay my housemate for rides. I am happy to know she is living well. I feel I am one of the reason she moved out early. I feel bad every time I remember her.

The day when I tried KINO, then k close in the car, my housemate said she got home looking pissed. My housemate did not know why. They asked her how she like the church, she simply replied she will never go again, and started making lunch. Do you guys think I went too far, came off too strong? (I really hope there's no undercover cop on here)

On the good side, we kept friends on chat app. She did not defriend or block me. I thought she was offended by me. I think she likes the things I have. She doesn't want to lose me as a friend. She likes my car, my connection, my social status, my popularity. I could have had it. I think the feeling is not there. Is that right?

I chased a few girls. One girl is married, the others have bf now. I look run into them. I am grateful that I did not date them. They were the small and sweet type. Now, they grew into real women. Some look completely, while the others live on the 8 to 5, Mon to Fri routine, raising a kid.

I am obsessed when I chase a girl. I have high standards. When I believe I find the right one, I come off strong. Pook's posts help me in the initial approach, ultimately I have to be myself and ride without training wheels.

Peaks&Valleys,
Please do not say things like restraining order. It is serious. Restraining order stays on your record for life, just like sex offenders. I knew someone who had to deal with restraining order, it was stressful.

ignore all the self absorbed stupefied guys here!

I'm a girl and kinda went through something similar to this. But the reason I avoided the guy was because I'm religious ... Lol things got pretty awkward between us... Thank God he's gone

Anyway you sound like a very sweet guy, but I think your letting her take advantage of you.... If you are really that curious why she's acting like this, I suggest you go up to her and talk face to face... Ask her what's her problem

Good luck!

 

[VikingKing]

It is always easiest to next and spin plates. You don't get hurt. You avoid any responsibility.

But remember, relationship takes time and effort. Maybe that's why there are many divorces today. We give up easily, we spin plates, we leaves others hurt, we only care about our own interest. My feelings is the only thing matters. That is not right.

Call me an AFC if you want. I help others. I try to put others' interest before mine. I believe that if you help someone, they will help you. Love comes around and goes around.

You're not responsible for other peoples feelings. Its one thing to take advantage of a girl who really cares about you, and end up hurting her. Its another thing to next a girl you dont even no.

You should always put your feelings and yourself first, but that doesnt mean at the expense of some one else. You can be selfish in a healthy way, and I suggest you learn the difference, and apply it to your life. Otherwise you will get used and abused, its a cold cruel world man, and no one will take care of you if you dont take care of yourself.

The only people who dont have to take care of themselves are women and children.

Sometimes when you help people, they just use you and don't give a fvck. If you don't give a fvck about yourself first, no one is going to give a fvck about you.

 

[hop On hop Off]

week 1 since she left and recap of our last conversation

She and I are still chat app friends.

It has been a week since she moved out. I am slowly pulling myself together. I can focus and get work done. I feel the anxiety about seeing her at home.

Last week this time, I messaged her on chat. This is how it went.

I said,
"You left without saying bye. We probably won't see each other ever again. I wish you a happy life and all the best. If you come back or need help, please let me know. bye!"

I was sentimental when I wrote it at 3am. It was on the night I found out she moved out.

She replied me a day later 11pm same day.

She said, "just saw the message, thank you and wish you all the best."
I said, "ok "

I think the smiley face is AFC. But some poster thinks I am a creep, another said restraining order. So, I am showing some sweetness.

Yes, I already know about next. But, does this conversation sound AFC? Is this the right move?

But it is my last chance to chat with her. So, I want to get things off my chest rather than regretting years later. Life is more than spinning plates and sex.

I enjoyed the chase. I was nervous---I read DJ Bible and applied it. I was excited---I KINOed her. I was happy---she kept friends with me on chat.

So, I think she liked me as a friend, but not as coffee and bagel. I believe I will be successful if I had more time.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

ignore all the self absorbed stupefied guys here!

I'm a girl and kinda went through something similar to this. But the reason I avoided the guy was because I'm religious ... Lol things got pretty awkward between us... Thank God he's gone

Anyway you sound like a very sweet guy, but I think your letting her take advantage of you.... If you are really that curious why she's acting like this, I suggest you go up to her and talk face to face... Ask her what's her problem

Good luck!

Please do the world a favor, don't give out anymore dating advice to guys. Seriously. Your advice is the epitome of horrible woman advice.

 

[.Bing.]

So, this is the girl I went to the museum with last week.

We touched each other's hand while exchanging things. Next day, we were out, I took her hand in my car, tried k close. She avoided k close. But she let me hold her hands firmly in the car. She took her hand back when we got back to the house.

I have escalated, but I see her leaving my car with a guilty face. She immediately messaged me she will be busy, can't go out anymore. It's the anti-slvt defense. How do I break that?

Few days ago, A guy housemate wanted to go shopping. I will be the driver. He asked everyone. She said yes.

Today, the guy backed out, leaving 2 guys 2 girls including me and her. The girl is suddenly not coming. I think she doesn't want to be too close to me.

So, a housemate decided to ask her again. Then, I decided not to walk over, but to call her. I called 3 times. It was a bad move.

How should I ask her out again? I am confident she is interested in me, but she is feeling guilty with her anti-slvt defense.

"her anti-slvt defense" lol she ain't interested bro. What were you exchanging with her?

 

[hop On hop Off]

replying to comments

This is the absolute worst advice anyone could have given you in this situation. It was a woman? How is this not a surprise. She was trying to make you feel better, rather than giving you solid advice.

This friend does not know anything. This story sounds AFC, I know. He chased a girl for 3 years. The girl is touched. So, it worked. This is not a good advice for someone looking to pump and dump.

Read through your three threads: You have to learn a very important word------>Calibration. Be aware of your surroundings, and act accordingly.

You are not in the friend zone, you are in the creep zone. And it is well deserved.

She kept chat app friends with me. She added me immediately when I told her my user name. She interacts with me until this day, though no initiation on her part. I am doing the chasing.

You felt I am a creep because...?

There was no relationship to begin with. Every time you tried to interact with her, you just further repelled her, rather than further attracting her. She's not the one for you. Judge by actions. This chick despises you. Next step restraining order, then jail.

She can defriend me NOW, she can cut me out of her life NOW. But, we are chat friends. In fact, I always judge by actions. It is not about how shy she acts, or closing a door in front of you. It is about what she does when she is AWAY from you. How she replies texts and messages, does she flake, what does she say. What I got is positive.

I think she likes me, not to my face, but my car, my friends, my connections.

I can get her. I never let walk over me. I am aloof, she does not get me.

I chose not to pursue. It will take too much effort and time. I gave her attention, so, her MV goes up. Out of 10, she may worth 5 bucks, now she is worth 8 bucks to me. I am losing money if I decide to buy in. In another word, she is pretty, we match. But, I won't drop other things to chase her. For example, not taking that extra shift so I can be with her.

I appreciate your words. If you express cynicism, please cite what you see, and what you would have done. It is a tough situation.

"her anti-slvt defense" lol she ain't interested bro. What were you exchanging with her?

I am not exchanging anything, that is not healthy. I have car, friends, connections. She does not have any of that. She understands that.

 

[Shift]

STOP STOP STOP STOP. You are obsessing bro, and this is unhealthy. Do this, right now:

Delete her number.
Delete her from the chat app and all social media.
Never speak to her again.

This is going to hurt like a mother****er, but push through it. Keeping contact with her will only drag out your pain. In time your heartbreak will subside, and at that point you should be able to look back on this with a clear head (no emotions getting in the way) and maybe learn to not read into things too much or obsess over one girl again.

There are so many women out there man, plenty others that you can enjoy the company of. There's really no need to put too much focus on one.

 

[hop On hop Off]

reply to comment

STOP STOP STOP STOP. You are obsessing bro, and this is unhealthy. Do this, right now:

Delete her number.
Delete her from the chat app and all social media.
Never speak to her again.

This is going to hurt like a mother****er, but push through it. Keeping contact with her will only drag out your pain. In time your heartbreak will subside, and at that point you should be able to look back on this with a clear head (no emotions getting in the way) and maybe learn to not read into things too much or obsess over one girl again.

Giving up is easy. Being cut-throat is convenient. Inner game and frame is built through hard work and failures. Nothing worth having ever came easy. If someone tells you they were successful without working hard, they are not telling you the truth.

 

[equinox654]

Holy hamsters batman

 

[Shift]

Giving up is easy. Being cut-throat is convenient. Inner game and frame is built through hard work and failures. Nothing with having ever came easy. If someone tells you they were successful without working hard, they are not telling you the truth.

You're right, you will improve your skills with hard work and failures. Your attempt at making it work with this girl is one of those failures. Learn from it, and spin some new plates.

 

[.Bing.]

We touched each other's hand while exchanging things.

I am not exchanging anything, that is not healthy.

Looks like you were.

 

[hop On hop Off]

getting myself back

I think I have moved on.

I don't think about her anymore. Maybe because her presence is no longer there. I start to wonder what was so good about her? Why I fell so much? It's a good sign.

I will completely forget about her, one day. She will come back begging me like my HS friends before her. They believe I am deal guy to settle down. They come and find me. But, I am in a much better position. They don't stand a chance. You silly duck! Where were you when I chased you?

This week, I have been focusing on my work, doing so much reading. I am not distracted. I sleep well. I wake up happy.

How does she feel right now? Is it,
1. Finally, I am moved out.
2. I don't like him, but I need an orbiter.
3. I like him. He came off strong, I needed time, he appeared desperate as a result.

I am recovering, I was told she was changing her mind about moving out a dozen times, and was indecisive whether she wanted to go to shopping with us. I will update another day.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-5522.html

12. One-itis Troll*
There's a fine line between seeking advice on a certain type of situation you encountered as a result of a particular girl, and simply seeking advice for one particular girl. The former is just part of the process of learning game--a process we all have gone, and continue to go, through--the former is often a One-itis Troll. Not only does this troll start several threads about the same exact girl, he nick-picks and nay-says all of the responses he gets with "but" and "what-if" statements and other provisos, all with the sole aim of extending the discussion about his fantasy girl--who may or may not even exist. Once some of the guys he's managed to lure into his obsessive vortex call him out on his trolling, he'll often concede that he's "just being paranoid" or hides behind newbie status, but proceeds as usual. Like other insecurity-based trolling (e.g., race trolls), one-itis trolls are quite plausibly well-intentioned newbies, but given their drain on forum resources and the equally plausible likelihood that they're simply trolling, they need to be dispensed with surgically.

*Sometimes subtle. Not to be confused with simple, permissible newbie-ism.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Peaks&Valleys again.

Hope all is well Peaks!

 

[hop On hop Off]

reply

Peaks&Valleys: You are right. I am happy for you.

I will admit, I am not at your level. Please forgive me.

 

[hop On hop Off]

You're right, you will improve your skills with hard work and failures. Your attempt at making it work with this girl is one of those failures. Learn from it, and spin some new plates.

Thanks

 

[hop On hop Off]

about her in retrospect

When we invited her to shopping, I was told she was debating. She was struggling if she is coming. She changed her mind several times. She said yes. And then a friend could not come, so, it was us four. She decided no. My friend is sure she wanted to come, but not sure what she is debating.

I assume she has no interest in me. She can cut me off and reject me decisively. She generally steers clear of people she does not like. She is the type associates with people better than her. People she looks up to. She wants to improve herself. I am happy to know that. Happy to know she did not cut me off.

This forum has been great help. In the beginning, I wanted to shower her with flowers in a surprise. A poster early on told me not. It saved me. DJ Bible taught me to KINO. I am so glad I am not in the friend zone, even though I did succeed.

I am ready to see other girls. I have not totally dropped her from my mind.

 

[hop On hop Off]

A day I remembered her, the day I suppose to take her to church

I can't get her out of my mind. I don't get it, I am better than her in every way----education, money, and status. There is someone chasing me.

Why am I falling so hard for this girl? No, please don't tell me to screw with another girl to forget about her.

I kept on thinking, I won't ever see her again. She has moved away. I won't see her again in my life time. This is needy, but what I said is also true.

Thinking about---I won't ever see this girl in my life time----gets me frustrated.

 

[Shift]

You will get over her, but it will take some time. Just keep up on NC or you're only going to drag it out.

 

[hop On hop Off]

16 days since she left

Shift,
Thanks for the encouragement.

On the 16th day
Today, I really wanted to go back to see some pictures we had. I didn't feel nostalgic or sad. I begin to see the bads in her.

We are brought up differently. I have dreams and goals for my career. She wants a provider and wants to settle down. We are not a match, not now.

I don't understand why I liked her so much. She is not my type. I can do better. This is what I am thinking on the 16th day right now.