She sends me a text saying she's not ready to see anyone yet

[Shivastorm_88]

We were supposed to go out on Friday, and she sent me a text saying: "I'm free on Friday, but I've been going through a lot and don't feel ready to meet anyone yet".

**** test to see how I'd react? Otherwise why would she even bother saying she's free Friday?

I was thinking to simply reply: "Ok, it's your call, let me know when you want to meet up" and leave it at that. Or is there another course of action that could bring better results?

 

[Iceberg]

Everyone's ready to meet someone. That's nonsense. I guarantee you, if that gay-looking dude from Twightlight sends her a text inviting her to a night of bottom-shelf tequila shots and unprotected sex, she'd suddenly be "ready".

I don't know how you're treating this girl (maybe she thinks you're too relationship-focused), but in the early stages of dating a chick, she should view you as nothing more than a source of fun. You should view her the same way.

And who isn't "ready" for fun?

Summary - any time a woman throws confusing messages this early in things, it's time to drop her. I wouldn't even respond. You're trying to have a good time, and she's dropping lame sh*t like this on you. F**k that.

EDIT

How'd you meet this girl anyway? By her use of the word "meet someone", it sounds like you met her online. And if that's true, then FU*K NO. I damn sure wouldnt put up with this stuff from a girl I haven't even MET yet.

 

[Shivastorm_88]

Everyone's ready to meet someone. That's nonsense. I guarantee you, if that gay-looking dude from Twightlight sends her a text inviting her to a night of bottom-shelf tequila shots and unprotected sex, she'd suddenly be "ready".

I don't know how you're treating this girl (maybe she thinks you're too relationship-focused), but in the early stages of dating a chick, she should view you as nothing more than a source of fun. You should view her the same way.

And who isn't "ready" for fun?

Summary - any time a woman throws confusing messages this early in things, it's time to drop her. I wouldn't even respond. You're trying to have a good time, and she's dropping lame sh*t like this on you. F**k that.

EDIT

How'd you meet this girl anyway? By her use of the word "meet someone", it sounds like you met her online. And if that's true, then FU*K NO. I damn sure wouldnt put up with this stuff from a girl I haven't even MET yet.

Heh yeah it was online, I've been experimenting with different online methods lately.

Although I do like your advice! It's true I don't owe her anything at all, I was debating between not answering or being polite about it and at least acknowledge her text

 

[loveshogun]

And who isn't "ready" for fun?

Iceberg ANGRY! Iceberg SMASH!

Seriously though. It's not like women are these mysterious, inscrutable creatures that we have to analyze. If she wanted to see you, she would. Period.

What is so difficult to understand about this? Nothing. So, quit letting your ego try to convince you that it's a "test," and move on.

That, and the only women who sh*t test people are, invariably, f*cking crazy. Unabashedly crazy. Avoid these women. In anything, thank them for openly acting like a c*ck so that you can delete their numbers.

 

[Iceberg]

Heh yeah it was online, I've been experimenting with different online methods lately.

Although I do like your advice! It's true I don't owe her anything at all, I was debating between not answering or being polite about it and at least acknowledge her text

Screw polite. Why be polite to some broad who's wasting your time?

Iceberg ANGRY! Iceberg SMASH!

Seriously though. It's not like women are these mysterious, inscrutable creatures that we have to analyze. If she wanted to see you, she would. Period.

What is so difficult to understand about this? Nothing. So, quit letting your ego try to convince you that it's a "test," and move on.

YES!

This is my opinion on the sh*t test. It's all about the GUY'S ego. (sh*t test = I can't accept that she doesn't want me, so I'll view a rejection as a test)

Any girl who views you as desirable will assume that if she's too slow to make a move on you, another girl will.

Girl's who want to date you don't sh*t test. They don't say, "Oh I really want to date Shiva, but I don't want to seem too eager. So I'll just push off our date... for another four weeks."

 

[Shivastorm_88]

Fair enough, thanks for the reality check guys!

 

[JohnnyStorm]

Could you not just ignore the last bit and just assume the interest is still there.
Something like "Cool, cool, well I'll be at *insert place here* setting the dancefloor on fire"
Or some crap like that?

 

[st_99]

YES!

This is my opinion on the sh*t test. It's all about the GUY'S ego. (sh*t test = I can't accept that she doesn't want me, so I'll view a rejection as a test)

I agree and have done this unfortunately. Girls do sh*t test all the time (by sh*t test i mean, girls just acting like girls, inferior), no doubt, but thats in the context of ALREADY showing they like you and want to be with you. Anything short of that is just plain old non interest.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Been in your position before, and to my understanding.. (I think I may be quoting someone's post or material from the DJB..)

If she says "I'm not ready to see anyone yet" it means "I'm not ready to see YOU yet."

Just forget about her and find someone else. If she comes crawling back, give her another shot (if you feel like it). You haven't even met this chick yet so this whole ordeal's not gonna hit you hard emotionally.

 

[Aaron B]

reply with "k"

then offer her date to the next girl on your list

 

[Jeffst1980]

Do not respond.

In fact, anytime a girl says something over text that you don't approve of, give no response. It's really the only reaction you can have that doesn't play into her frame. Also, there is a chance she may "change your mind" when she sees that you don't care enough to even text her back.

 

[Aaron B]

^ word

also now she has a chance if she changes her mind to claim she was "just kidding" before

never underestimate her propensity to be "just kidding"

"just kidding" as a tactic of course. its a way for her to gain information

 

[Robert28]

We were supposed to go out on Friday, and she sent me a text saying: "I'm free on Friday, but I've been going through a lot and don't feel ready to meet anyone yet".

**** test to see how I'd react? Otherwise why would she even bother saying she's free Friday?

I was thinking to simply reply: "Ok, it's your call, let me know when you want to meet up" and leave it at that. Or is there another course of action that could bring better results?

she just broke up with her drug addict ex for the 5th time who beat the sh!t out of the past few months, fvcked her best friend and got her pregnant, kicked her lap dog, keyed her car, called her mom a wh0re, and stole every dime of her paycheck every week. she misses that, she doesn't want to date anyone else because her and this "wonderful" guy MIGHT get back together before the weekend is over. that's what that means. it's not a sh1t test, she just dates loser guys and apparently you're not a loser to her, so kudos to you. don't reply now, and don't reply when she texts you later down the road. my guess is she wont do that though. besides, did you REALLY wanna go on a date with her and hear her talk about how horrible her ex treated her but yet she still has feelings for him? com'on man.

 

[Trump]

We were supposed to go out on Friday, and she sent me a text saying: "I'm free on Friday, but I've been going through a lot and don't feel ready to meet anyone yet".

**** test to see how I'd react? Otherwise why would she even bother saying she's free Friday?

I was thinking to simply reply: "Ok, it's your call, let me know when you want to meet up" and leave it at that. Or is there another course of action that could bring better results?

I think your response is fine, although I wouldn't say "it's your call."

If you ignore her text and don't respond, she may assume you don't pay attention and are unorganized.

 

[Aaron B]

she just broke up with her drug addict ex for the 5th time who beat the sh!t out of the past few months, fvcked her best friend and got her pregnant, kicked her lap dog, keyed her car, called her mom a wh0re, and stole every dime of her paycheck every week. she misses that, she doesn't want to date anyone else because her and this "wonderful" guy MIGHT get back together before the weekend is over. that's what that means. it's not a sh1t test, she just dates loser guys and apparently you're not a loser to her, so kudos to you. don't reply now, and don't reply when she texts you later down the road. my guess is she wont do that though. besides, did you REALLY wanna go on a date with her and hear her talk about how horrible her ex treated her but yet she still has feelings for him? com'on man.

:rockon:

 

[window]

ignore the words and look at the actions...she is prepared to go out with you Friday night. Run with it...

 

[blueline]

She is not sexually aroused by the appearance of your face therefore you should move onto another woman. Next.