"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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She says she's fallen in love with me!

Dave111

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My girlfriend has today told me that she thinks that she's fallen in love with me!

I knew all along that she had really high interest level in me, and I have as well in her, she is two years older than me and is French and extremely attractive. This is the first time a girl has told me this and its pretty much knocked me for six.

I dont quite feel the same as her just yet and was looking for some advice on how to address things between us from now on. I really like this girl a lot, we met in April and had both been single for two years.

She will be 25 later this year and I am still only 22 and I think she is now looking to settle down etc, and as much as I really like her, I feel i'm now in unchartered territory and was lookin on some guidence on how to maintain our relationship but under my own pace.

cheers

Dave
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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PatZull

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First, I want to congratulate you for not using the oh-how-accurate *HB* rating scale.

Now. I think you should settle down, don't show her that you are worried about your age difference. And if she's saying now that she loves you, you can cut out the alpha male bull and go on the romance level (but don't entirely stop teasing her, you'll become boring). Surprise her on her birthday with something she will remember, use your imagination.

Uncharted territory? Come on now, you must have 'charted' it already, right? :D :p
 

Caveman

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Dave,

If you are not ready to settle down, then don't. If you are not ready to tell her you love her, then don't.

I disagree with Patzull about cutting the alphamale bull.. If she says she loves you, she loves you for who you are right now, so don't change just to keep her around or whatever.

As far as the age difference.. don't worry about that. She is only 3 years older.. not a biggie. And how to address things between you and her? Keep doing what you do and have fun with her. Don't feel pressured into a serious relationship. You can still hang out and have fun without getting married. Just enjoy your time with her.
 

squirrels

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Originally posted by Caveman
Just enjoy your time with her.
^^^Key.

Don't fall into the following trap:

-Guy meet girl

-girl tells guy she loves him/wants to be with him/etc

-guy suddenly starts feeling self-conscious about the relationship and changes his behavior to make sure things go right

-in changing behavior, guy stops doing all the things that made the girl fall in love with him

-girl "needs space"

Never let some girl's opinion of you change who you are. Remember, she ALREADY loves you. You don't need to impress her. You just need to keep being who you are and having a good time/showing her a good time. :)
 

HuuBinh

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hello guys,

just continue doing what your doing dave. don't change your behavior. it still doesn't mean anything until she backs up those words with some action.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Slickster

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Originally posted by squirrels
^^^Key.

Don't fall into the following trap:

-Guy meet girl

-girl tells guy she loves him/wants to be with him/etc

-guy suddenly starts feeling self-conscious about the relationship and changes his behavior to make sure things go right

-in changing behavior, guy stops doing all the things that made the girl fall in love with him

-girl "needs space"

Never let some girl's opinion of you change who you are. Remember, she ALREADY loves you. You don't need to impress her. You just need to keep being who you are and having a good time/showing her a good time. :)

Great advice
 

PatZull

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... I disagree with Patzull about cutting the alphamale bull .. .
Ok! Maybe you are right!

Continue with your alphamale bull, lol, but inject a little romance into your affair, because many people forget that, and the whole relationship becomes a little boring and even predictable.
 
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