She says she doesn´t know

[Radharc]

Quick question guys: what does a woman means when you invite her for a coffee and she says I don´t know.

This is a girl I met a few days ago, she is my best friend ex, since then we have been talking on chats, she starts conversations a lot (my friend is never ever a subject), then I ask her if she wants to go for a coffee and she says she doesn´t know. I say, what do you mean you dont know, and she says she doesn´t.

I´m used to either yes, or excuses, or flakes, but not "I don´t know".

 

[vatoloco]

When "I Don't Know" is used as a reply to an invitation, it means "I have low interest level in you."

If she had high interest level in you, she would happily accept without hesitation. If she had sky-high IL, she'd even go insect hunting wit ya!

 

[Radharc]

When "I Don't Know" is used as a reply to an invitation, it means "I have low interest level in you."

If she had high interest level in you, she would happily accept without hesitation. If she had sky-high IL, she'd even go insect hunting wit ya!

Yeah, I know, but when she keeps wanting to chat with you and is starting conversations all the time, its sort of confusing when it comes to interest level.

Anyways, no sweat, just a bit weird.

 

[Radharc]

I think she is not completely over him, but she never mentions him, and my friend knows about it, I told him, hell I had to ask him his permission. But could be what you said, its ilogical enough to make sense for a woman...

 

[f283000]

Yeah, I know, but when she keeps wanting to chat with you and is starting conversations all the time, its sort of confusing when it comes to interest level.

Actually not confusing at all she could be using you as an ego booster. Women will chat all they want with guys but that doesn't mean they will ever f*** them. It's their way to get their attention fix.

I like how you cut to the chase and asked her out. Don't let no woman waste your time. Cut to the point, ask them out, see what they say, don't let no woman use you to get their attention fix.

Now what you have to do is read the link in my sig (2 strikes rule) and go on from there. Ask her out again but this time to something a little more fun than coffee perhaps. If she strikes out it's time for you to focus on more positive and productive endeavors (other women) since this one is starting to look like a waste of time.

 

[Romjuan]

Im pretty sure she has some interest in you, simply because as you mentioned she never brings him up. What I believe is she maybe a good girl that doesnt want to date between friends. By her saying "i dont know" its another way of saying it would be a bad idea. She may not be able to control herself and hook up with you and its disrespectful to your friend. Atleast, thats my take.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Radhark,
You are wasting your time.

 

[5string]

I don't know means no

 

[Radharc]

I just read the chat log and after saying the "I dont know" she also says "but yes, we'll meet sometime", and some cryptic stuff about ppl being prone to confusion. I have a feeling she is trying to keep me hooked or something.

I intend to disconnect contact from my part, if she keeps wanting my attention then i´ll ask her again like f283000 suggested.

And yeah, its starting to feel like a waste of time. Unfortunately I´ve just been sent to work in the middle of nowhere until August, and between the lack of suitable females around and the free time I have it gets a bit hard to simply dismiss this.

 

[jophil28]

I just read the chat log and after saying the "I dont know" she also says "but yes, we'll meet sometime", and some cryptic stuff about ppl being prone to confusion. I have a feeling she is trying to keep me hooked or something.

I intend to disconnect contact from my part, if she keeps wanting my attention then i´ll ask her again like f283000 suggested.

And yeah, its starting to feel like a waste of time. Unfortunately I´ve just been sent to work in the middle of nowhere until August, and between the lack of suitable females around and the free time I have it gets a bit hard to simply dismiss this.

Normally I would advise you to drop her like a hot biscuit. She is most certainly using you for attention and an ego bloat and has no real intention of amping things up to a personal connection . She is also playing mindgames with you by hinting that she might meet you in the future.
However, if you are being transferred to the boonies you might take that as an opportunity to practise your email /text "game" on her .
AS long as you do not allow yourself to become emotionally invested in someone who is clearly toying with you for her own needs , you should be OK .

 

[Boilermaker]

If she had high interest level in you, she would happily accept without hesitation. If she had sky-high IL, she'd even go insect hunting wit ya!

The simplest and therefore most probable explanation of your situation. (Occam's razor)

People sometimes look for "holes" in this rational viewpoint and cook various excuses for flaky behavior. Most fashionable examples I have seen around recently are "Women are not supposed to lead" ... or "It's a man's job to be assertive"...

But the sad truth is %99 of the time they are just not interested.

 

[L B]

I just read the chat log and after saying the "I dont know" she also says "but yes, we'll meet sometime", and some cryptic stuff about ppl being prone to confusion. I have a feeling she is trying to keep me hooked or something.

I intend to disconnect contact from my part, if she keeps wanting my attention then i´ll ask her again like f283000 suggested.

And yeah, its starting to feel like a waste of time. Unfortunately I´ve just been sent to work in the middle of nowhere until August, and between the lack of suitable females around and the free time I have it gets a bit hard to simply dismiss this.

Playing with fire there. I hope things end well for you, but experience tells me you're better off cutting contact with her and do something else or do someone else while she gathers her thought (or dumped by another guy she's interested in).

 

[Radharc]

Playing with fire there. I hope things end well for you, but experience tells me you're better off cutting contact with her and do something else or do someone else while she gathers her thought (or dumped by another guy she's interested in).

It's like Jophil said, as long as I dont get emotionally invested it's not a problem, and I'm cutting contact from my side, the ball is in her court now. I'm still curious about where this will go (if anywhere) but if it starts to become a hassle I'll just eject.

 

[CrashOverRide]

Actually not confusing at all she could be using you as an ego booster. Women will chat all they want with guys but that doesn't mean they will ever f*** them. It's their way to get their attention fix.

I like how you cut to the chase and asked her out. Don't let no woman waste your time. Cut to the point, ask them out, see what they say, don't let no woman use you to get their attention fix.

Now what you have to do is read the link in my sig (2 strikes rule) and go on from there. Ask her out again but this time to something a little more fun than coffee perhaps. If she strikes out it's time for you to focus on more positive and productive endeavors (other women) since this one is starting to look like a waste of time.

I couldn't have said it better myself... The advice above is what you should follow.