she says just friends but i feel more?

[Jariel]

I personally don't believe in this male dominance thing as it does make you look like a pr!ck and doesn't make for a good mutual relationship. I prefer to take more of a cool and indifferent approach. In other words, don't let her looks, mind games or sexuality affect you. If she calls to moan about her problems, tell her you're a bit busy and you'll get back to her. If she asks for a massage, tell her maybe another time or only if she gives you one first.

There's a good chance she'll sulk and lay guilt trips if you don't bow down to her, but instead of giving them any attention, either take no notice or laugh at her for acting like a spoilt child. She'll also try to overdramatise things, like her boyfriend abusing her for example. Unless you've seen her with black eyes and a broken nose, she is probably exaggerating a lot to get your sympathy and attention.

Just be aware that girls will try to manipulate guys to get their own way. They will use guilt, cuteness, sex appeal, lies and even anger. You can be nice, polite and laidback, but just don't give into these manipulative games.

 

[DJDamage]

Yes this post has really opened up my eyes! Like I said I didn't know I was that bad!
OK so let me get this straight:
What the FlyingMan needs to change:
1) Don't listen to her demands? I said make me a home cooked meal then I'll massage you, but in the end gave her the massage first in return for a home cooked meal later.
2) Don't listen to her crap? Run away the moment she said she was being abused?
3) Mind my own business, don't try to be a hero?
4) Don't cancel prior plans for her
5) Let's say that clubbing thing. What should I have done? I wasn't hanging around her I was with a bunch of friends and she followed me around and said hey where's the girls you were going to pick up?

1) Time Is Valuable. A girl needs to know that as a guy you have other options and you would rather explore those options then sit down and listen to her flapping gums as she vomits her emotions away. It is not normal and it should be stopped.

2) Any girl who has been abused, has major issues which will hurt the relationship down the future. This one is already damaged goods and she has proved it by taking a chance at 3am and hope her ex won't take a drunken swing at her, while you are outside sitting in the rain. By the way you were way to available to her. Cut that internet MSM, phone SMS sh1t down. All you are doing is entertaining her while she is dreaming about fvcking some badass who doesn't sit on the computer all day. If a girl wants to talk to her guy it can be done on a date. Everything else is a waste of time.

3) You are not being a hero. You are being her little emotional tampon. You are being used and are easily replaceable. If you get killed as a result, it will take exectly less then one day after she finishes mourning over you to find another chump (to be her captain-save-a-ho) to take your place and be happy again. If a woman is not emotionally invested in you, you don't mean much to her.

4) Never cancel any plans for any girl. If you made plans you stick by them. They would respect you and run circles around you to match your time. If not there are plenty of women who will. Women will actually respect a guy more for having a life and not drop everything for her as soon as she wants too.

5) You shouldn't have went with her to a club especially since you were her friend and wanted more. When and if you meet a lucky girl, it is up to you to set the date up and let her accept the date. If she doesn't want to then NEXT!!!. Clubs are bad places for newly dates because the competition there is quite high and for a girl there remains a possiblity that at this stage where she doesn't have her emotions really invested in you, she can still accept the advances of other males (I have seen too many numbers going into a girl's purse in a bar/club where her "DATE" went to the bathroom).

DjDamage

 

[Last Man Standing]

The Flying Dude,

Take heed to DJDAMAGE's 5 commandments!!

What I am saying is that as a man you have to set the agenda -- don't let a woman dictate the schedule - you must lead and she must follow - she submits to you and not you to her!!

She has you doing everything she dictates - she says "take me here", you say "OK" - she says "give me a massage", you say "OK" - she says meet me tomorrow,you say "OK" ---- I don't see you leading -why not?? If you are shy you can still lead!!

I think you are trying to win acceptance from women - when you do this you place yourself in an inferior role. Accept the worth of yourself as a man first before you go out and pursue women otherwise if you don't value your masculine worth you will always be the subservient one - and this is an unnatural role for a man!!!

 

[TheFlyingMan]

Hey guys just wanted to say thanks again to all those who helped me out in this (my virgin sosuave thread)...looking back at it, I'm cringing....

 

[JHeights83rd]

No online chatting

One thing that probably f ed you up was talking to her online. You should not talk to a girl youre interested online because that takes away your mystery and chemistry and it makes it more like friends.

People here are overreacting like "she was taking advantage of you" to me it sounds like you were getting up this girl's azz trying to get with her. And a long as you get close to her like that shes gonna have you do be there for her, as well as when you volunteer to be there for her. So its youre fault. I know if you guys had a girl always volunteering to hang around you, youd use her sexually, as long as shes keeps volunteering to spend time with you.

 

[TheFlyingMan]

yeap..that was my first so suave post like 2-3 months ago, since then I've been working on **** a lot...still not bossy enough I reckon, but definitely no pushover.

As for me talking online I work in the internet field so I'm online all the time by necessity, but I agree how it can take away the mystery and attraction. Plus when you're working on the internet all the time I welcome any conversation, it gets farking boring. But now I just keep my online convos to dirty jokes between me and the boys, i keep my ladies for actual person to person jokes.

I've changed most of my bad behaviour here, but I am worried I might slip up again with my current gal. I might be regressing without knowing it.

It's good to come back and read it, I still need to take charge more.