Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

She says 'dont ignore me if we get into an argument you will lose'

big weezy

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 12, 2010
Messages
501
Reaction score
2
This girl I'm seeing said to me that if we get into a row over something not to ignore her coz i will lose, and 'if you give me the silent treatment you may only last a few days i can go for weeks and weeks till you come back and apologize'

she was referencing me to past guys she's dated. Should I ignore this and do exactly that, ignore her?

They say on here don't give her your attention when she behaves badly, but the idea is to hold your nerve and not cave in right?

I'm not sure why she mentioned this but I know for a fact that's exactly how you should treat these women when they behave badly.

Tho I think she was talking about a mutual row or argument which likes to sort things out there and then and not let the bad blood tie over, I like to deal with things in the same way whereas I know some guys will just switch off and turn on the silent treatment. Am I right to ignore her? (literally)
 

Shivastorm_88

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2007
Messages
408
Reaction score
16
You can either be mature and ignore the comment and act like she never mentioned it, or be immature and give her the silent treatment till she caves, and if she doesn't, well you've just nexted a spoiled brat, congrats!
 

SgtSplacker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 18, 2011
Messages
2,045
Reaction score
498
Don't listen to a word she says. Remember, when taking relationship advice from a woman always do the opposite. If she's wrong PUNISH her like a spoiled little brat. If she is too childish to deal with it, then she is of no use to you... she MUST COMPLY and will if she views you as a man.
 

shizz702

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2011
Messages
374
Reaction score
8
That's a bad sign brotha, has BPD written all over it. I had me one of them silent treatment girls before, and there is nothing worst than that. All you can do if it does happen is straight up ignore her and move on with your life until she caves, if she does.

My advice would be keep her along for the ride for now, but this ain't long term material. Spin other plates so you have other options to turn to when she pulls her silent BS (and believe me, she will).
 

Iceberg

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 19, 2002
Messages
3,117
Reaction score
136
Age
43
Location
Manhattan, NY
big weezy said:
Tho I think she was talking about a mutual row or argument which likes to sort things out there and then and not let the bad blood tie over, I like to deal with things in the same way whereas I know some guys will just switch off and turn on the silent treatment. Am I right to ignore her? (literally)
No. Change everything for this specific woman. Because she's special and different.

In fact, pay EXTRA attention to her. Sounds like a keeper.
 

OnTheWayUp

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 13, 2010
Messages
321
Reaction score
9
big weezy said:
This girl I'm seeing said to me that if we get into a row over something not to ignore her coz i will lose, and 'if you give me the silent treatment you may only last a few days i can go for weeks and weeks till you come back and apologize'

she was referencing me to past guys she's dated. Should I ignore this and do exactly that, ignore her?
Haha, this is a good one. I'm not sure anyone else here has quite translated this out of woman-speak for you... here's my take.

This smells like a power-play. It sounds to me not like your girl is BPD (a term used too readily on here imo), but rather that she has a high IL and is fed up of the guys she finds attractive (ie guys like you) going cold on her. It sounds like she's been hurt in the past, most likely by guys sleeping with her and giving the silent treatment afterwards. For a girl this is very frustrating. She is genetically programmed to mate with a man with options and his own life (ie a man who won't text her all the time), but wants to settle down with the high value man, not just sleep with him.

Because she knows that guys drive her crazy by sleeping with her and then running away, she imagines that guys will get off on her in the same way: receiving attention, then having it taken away. Her move is one which tries to say: "I'm high value- don't dare do this to me." Of course, anyone who understands women will realise that she is unwittingly telling you how to seduce her here.

Your best course of action is to keep seeing her and keep the communication brief when you're not together. Ignoring her completely will just make her think you're a d1ick who's not interested in her.
 

big weezy

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 12, 2010
Messages
501
Reaction score
2
OnTheWayUp said:
Haha, this is a good one. I'm not sure anyone else here has quite translated this out of woman-speak for you... here's my take.

This smells like a power-play. It sounds to me not like your girl is BPD (a term used too readily on here imo), but rather that she has a high IL and is fed up of the guys she finds attractive (ie guys like you) going cold on her. It sounds like she's been hurt in the past, most likely by guys sleeping with her and giving the silent treatment afterwards. For a girl this is very frustrating. She is genetically programmed to mate with a man with options and his own life (ie a man who won't text her all the time), but wants to settle down with the high value man, not just sleep with him.

Because she knows that guys drive her crazy by sleeping with her and then running away, she imagines that guys will get off on her in the same way: receiving attention, then having it taken away. Her move is one which tries to say: "I'm high value- don't dare do this to me." Of course, anyone who understands women will realise that she is unwittingly telling you how to seduce her here.

Your best course of action is to keep seeing her and keep the communication brief when you're not together. Ignoring her completely will just make her think you're a d1ick who's not interested in her.
It was more she was trying to suggest what would happen in the longer term if say we were a couple and got into an argument. Basically not to ignore her and give her silent treatment cos apparently i'll lose :)
 

pipe007

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 2, 2004
Messages
638
Reaction score
52
lol she thinks she owns you, and she probably does.

she sounds like a royal pain in the ass to keep around
its up to you, do you dislike and disrespect yourself THAT MUCH to stay with someone who thinks like this?

It seems like it!, there problem is you. She can do whatever she wants.
the problem is you!
right now she owns your emotional self.
 

soshdog

New Member
Joined
Oct 30, 2011
Messages
9
Reaction score
1
pipe007 said:
lol she thinks she owns you, and she probably does.

she sounds like a royal pain in the ass to keep around
its up to you, do you dislike and disrespect yourself THAT MUCH to stay with someone who thinks like this?

It seems like it!, there problem is you. She can do whatever she wants.
the problem is you!
right now she owns your emotional self.
this
 
P

perseverance

Guest
I'd say to her 'That sounds like a challenge, you're on" and I'd cut her out of my life and carry about my business, but that's just me.
 

the_great_gaia

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 3, 2003
Messages
284
Reaction score
2
Location
Fort Bragg, North Carolina
big weezy said:
This girl I'm seeing said to me that if we get into a row over something not to ignore her coz i will lose, and 'if you give me the silent treatment you may only last a few days i can go for weeks and weeks till you come back and apologize
This kind of reminds me of that story I learned in elementary school:
THE GINGERBREAD MAN

[Gingerbread Man riding on The Wolf to avoid getting soggy and wet in a flooded river]

The Wolf: ..get on my nose if you don't want to get wet, Gingerbread Man..
The Gingerbread Man: Ok, you promise not to eat me, right?
The Wolf: Right. I will not eat you if you get on my nose, I guarantee it!
[Gingerbread Man gets on the wolf's nose; The Wolf eats him]
The Wolf: YUM!
 

housedejacques

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 21, 2011
Messages
18
Reaction score
1
Wow, some girls truly are *****es.

Like somebody else said, she's probably trying to scare you straight. She doesn't want you giving her the silent treatment -pumping and dumping her, for instance- so she's making you royally scared of it.

Frankly, if a girl pulled this **** on me, I'd be so disappointed of her that I'd stop seeing her. I would crack a joke about her being insecure -which would probably send her reeling- and then I'd make myself scarce.

Seriously dude. Do you really want to hang out with a girl like that? If you do, then you need to work on your inner game.
 

Warrior74

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2008
Messages
5,134
Reaction score
227
The worst part of this is that it's a no win. If you do what she tells you, she'll know you aren't worth being with and it will erode your respect over time. If you do the opposite, your gonna get crazytimes. Walk the middle way or walk away period.
 

Alex DeLarge

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 26, 2011
Messages
845
Reaction score
25
Be a man. Don't take sh1t from a woman who's going to talk to you this way. Break it up with her and DO NOT beg for her back. This woman is clearly unintelligent, has no morals, and has the argumentative attitude of a 6 year old going "LA LA LA" every time she hears the truth.

Go find a woman worth your time.
 

I'm in the Mood

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 3, 2008
Messages
702
Reaction score
17
Location
Cloud 9
So what's your problem here? She didn't actually DO anything, this is just something she SAID. Who likes getting the silent treatment anyway? It's understandable that someone might be insecure about this if they've had to face it multiple times in the past. This sounds like a woman who wants to have things her way, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. This is one of those things that you'll have to experience for yourself before making any judgments. I think you're reading too much into this comment she made.

big weezy said:
This girl I'm seeing said to me that if we get into a row over something not to ignore her coz i will lose, and 'if you give me the silent treatment you may only last a few days i can go for weeks and weeks till you come back and apologize'

she was referencing me to past guys she's dated. Should I ignore this and do exactly that, ignore her?

They say on here don't give her your attention when she behaves badly, but the idea is to hold your nerve and not cave in right?

I'm not sure why she mentioned this but I know for a fact that's exactly how you should treat these women when they behave badly.

Tho I think she was talking about a mutual row or argument which likes to sort things out there and then and not let the bad blood tie over, I like to deal with things in the same way whereas I know some guys will just switch off and turn on the silent treatment. Am I right to ignore her? (literally)
 

betheman

Banned
Joined
Nov 4, 2010
Messages
1,859
Reaction score
67
"This girl I'm seeing said to me that if we get into a row over something not to ignore her coz i will lose, and 'if you give me the silent treatment you may only last a few days i can go for weeks and weeks till you come back and apologize'"

Till YOU come back AND APOLOGIZE !!!!!!!

She is already screaming at you loud and clear that in her world, she is never wrong, be very wary here, she will sh!t test the living soul out of you and have you jumping through hoops or die trying, you will never win.

My advice would be to simply raise an eyebrow, bert stare and walk away..for good!
she may be worth banging for a while but do nto get emotionally involved with these creatures. all those other guys? they may have just got to sick oh her sh!t to put up with it anymore.
 

Holden Caulfield

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 20, 2011
Messages
14
Reaction score
0
It all boils down to control... So who is in control here? And if control is a central point of a future relationship, then it will always be about struggling to see who maintains it.

You should start asking yourself these questions:

!) Is this how I want to live? Am I willing to give up control from time to time (most of the time) only to seek it out again and play the same game over and over?

2) Is it okay to give up a part of myself to accomodate another? Always giving in to the changing needs of a woman while sacrificing self?

3) Should she be the one to establish this kind of line in the sand this early on?

Relationships are a matter of give and take...regardless of circumstances; not proactive warfare to establish ground and ultimate control.

You need to ultimately ask yourself what it is you want from this and any other interaction. And it is an interaction. Everytime you get into these types of situations, they are. Until there is an investment on her part that equals or exceeds yours... there is no balance. Think about tthat.
 
Top