She said yes to drinks but set a time limit. Red flag?

[Sega Genesis]

This will be the third time I am saying this. Until shown otherwise, she did prove her interest.

Why did you choose my post to respond to? I agree with you!

And this whole notion of wanting a woman to prove her interest especially before even meeting in person is ludicrous.

It's a shyt test and a pretty crappy one, something you accuse women of doing!

But again yes she did show/prove her interest by suggesting two alternative days.

Ideally and to avoid possible fade out, if ME I would have suggested something mid-week.

But what she did was a positive.

 

[SW15]

Absolutely. I have had such interactions fade out, especially online before meeting in person. And IF the initial momentum isn't maintained.

Which is why I mentioned keeping the momentum going during the week before the meet/date.

This is one of the biggest changes in early stage dating since the 2000s. It is the concept of maintaining technology-based momentum, which was not a consideration at all before the growth of broadband internet, smartphones, and social media.

When I first hit the mating market in the late 1990s-early 2000s, one could rely on in-person interactions as sufficient for momentum, so long as they were spaced reasonably close. Obviously, there was momentum loss in that era if more than 7-10 days transpired between in-person interactions. However, there was less of a need to keep momentum going through non-real time communication.

OP had her on and tangled his line in his own bad behavior.

I agree with this. It's not easy to even get a response to an Instagram DM, so that's an achievement.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Why did you choose my post to respond to? I agree with you!

And this whole notion of wanting a woman to prove her interest especially before even meeting in person is ludicrous.

It's a shyt test and a pretty crappy one, something you accuse women of doing!

But again yes she did show/prove her interest by suggesting two alternative days.

Ideally and to avoid possible fade out, if ME I would have suggested something mid-week.

But what she did was a positive.

He deserves what he gets. There’s no questions being asked, humility or willingness to learn.

All I am doing is quoting Anti-Dump’s machine, a time tested algorithm that progresses the relationship by using actions and live dates, forcing the man to lead, uncover/cultivate interest and the woman to prove her intentions. He and many others would be wise to read it.

 

[Sega Genesis]

Not that you asked, but here’s what you should have said back: ‘Hahahaha’ and waited.

Dw3, I often agree with your posts but I'm not getting this^ one.

She suggested two alternative dates (a positive) and you advise responding with "Hahahaha"?

What am I missing? Surely something.

 

[holidayad_]

He deserves what he gets. There’s no questions being asked, humility or willingness to learn.

To another point, the act of coming to seek advice and then thumbing nose at that advice is the foundation of the issue he’s having itself.

If I am here talking and sharing what is happening, it is for a reason.

You are not sticking to the facts and creating falsehoods. Something you told me not to do, after I pointed out my response.

 

[Divorced w 3]

If I am here talking and sharing what is happening, it is for a reason.

You are not sticking to the facts and creating falsehoods. Something you told me not to do, after I pointed out my response.

You are not asking questions. You are not taking the time to digest advice. You’re not saying simple things like what should I do. You are rushing. You had a week to get back to her. One day it will click.

 

[Sega Genesis]

Side note to this thread, I am going to start a thread on the hard earned wisdom of being in no obligation to quickly respond.

Looking forward to it!

 

[Divorced w 3]

Dw3, I often agree with your posts but I'm not getting this^ one.

She suggested two alternative dates (a positive) and you advise responding with "Hahahaha"?

What am I missing? Surely something.

I have the ability to create fun dialogue. I would have given her crap about not being able to hold her liquor and suggested they go somewhere that didn’t involve drinks. Considering she blew him off she deserved some good ribbing. I don’t think she’s low intent btw.

 

[Sega Genesis]

Considering she blew him off she deserved some good ribbing.

I don't necessarily agree that she "blew him off" which has a negative connotation to it. .

She had plans (after 11:00 pm) which she had told him about and suggested two alternative dates which is a positive.

Many guys (not you) even said it's better to reschedule than have an 11:00 pm time constraint!

That said, I don't disagree with the ribbing! And yeah some teasing and banter is good, and can be rapport building!

But again, "Hahahaha"? Not quite getting how that would be considered good ribbing, on its face it sounds a bit condescending and mocking her suggestion.

Perhaps face to face it would come across better using facial expression and body language, but online? Not so much IMO.

But you know what you're doing; it's clear you have achieved abundance so whatever works!

 

[Divorced w 3]

I don't necessarily agree that she "blew him off" which has a negative connotation to it. .

She had plans (after 11:00 pm) which she had told him about and suggested two alternative dates which is a positive.

Many guys (not you) even said it's better to reschedule than have an 11:00 pm time constraint!

That said, I don't disagree with the ribbing! And yeah some teasing and banter is good, and can be rapport building!

But again, "Hahahaha"? Not quite getting how that would be considered good ribbing, on its face it sounds a bit condescending and mocking her suggestion.

Perhaps face to face it would come across better using facial expression and body language, but online? Not so much IMO.

But you know what you're doing; it's clear you have achieved abundance so whatever works!

She blew him off by rescheduling her own date idea. She deserves a good closed ended laugh, putting him back in the drivers seat, displaying to her his light hearted attitude, subtle display of abundance mindset, and then the onus would be on her to follow up.

Him taking the tact he did, with so much time for him to have played this game with her, instead rushing and displaying butt hurt, likely blew it. He telegraphed lack of abundance as well as a negative emotional bent.

You’re right though; I’m different than most. It takes time. I’m offering a perspective, it’s one and only one.

 

[Sega Genesis]

sent her this message:

"Hi.
All right.
I'll see how my week goes and let you know."

Maybe it doesn't give me much room to keep building rapport, but it lets her show interest over the next few days.

@holidayad_ can you explain your rationale for expecting HER to show interest over the next few days?

YOU are the one who said you'd get back to her!

And she already showed her interest and intent by offering two alternative days.

Earnest question. To me you set it up so that the ball is in your court!

I wouldn't expect a response but ya never know.

Keep us posted!

 

[Sega Genesis]

She blew him off by rescheduling her own date idea....

Huh? I'm trying very hard to understand you Dw3, but what I read was the OP asked her for drinks at 7:30 pm on Saturday.

It was his date idea, not hers. All she did was say she had to leave by 11:00 so perhaps that's what you're referring to?

If so fair enough!

 

[Divorced w 3]

Huh? I'm trying very hard to understand you Dw3, but what I read was the OP asked her for drinks at 7:30 pm on Saturday.

It was his date idea, not hers. All she did was say she had to leave by 11:00 so perhaps that's what you're referring to?

If so fair enough!

You’re right. Either way, she canceled on him. Sticking with what I said

 

[Sega Genesis]

Sticking with what I said

Of course you are! I would expect nothing less (from you).

But thank you for acknowledging my point.

 

[CornbreadFed]

A woman’s interest shouldn’t be taken seriously during the initial phases because it can swing from one in to another. I’ve had plenty of women that came in hot and ghosted me. Ive had women that showed lukewarm interest and ended up becoming a LTR later. The whole point is to not put too much investment in women at the beginning and be ready for the BS because you never fricking know.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Of course you are! I would expect nothing less (from you).

But thank you for acknowledging my point.

You were on the money when you implied I am operating from a spot of not giving a fbck

 

[Sega Genesis]

You were on the money when you implied I am operating from a spot of not giving a fbck

You really do though (care) that's the irony of it.

 

[Gamisch]

I

She blew him off by rescheduling her own date idea. She deserves a good closed ended laugh, putting him back in the drivers seat, displaying to her his light hearted attitude, subtle display of abundance mindset, and then the onus would be on her to follow up.

Him taking the tact he did, with so much time for him to have played this game with her, instead rushing and displaying butt hurt, likely blew it. He telegraphed lack of abundance as well as a negative emotional bent.

You’re right though; I’m different than most. It takes time. I’m offering a perspective, it’s one and only one.

I fully agree with this post.

But, as you see the current mindset on the forum is a weak one: a lot been saying a man on this situation should " just go with the flow". WTF??

Absolutely bananas that after thousands and thousands of examples of women flaking so-called " experienced" members dare to give this advice. Ridiculous that after years of study men come up with such advice. Ofcourse most men will lose with this mindset.

(Modern)Women have so much more game than men, it's not even in the same stratosphere

Edit: another disappointment is that most apparently can't look beyond a single post. It's NOT about OP, it's about the dynamics between men and women in general. A man must have a personal law and live by said law no matter what.

My law is that after 1 flake I'm mentally checking out and I will only consider seeing her if she puts in all the effort from there on. A second flake = next.

 

[Divorced w 3]

You really do though (care) that's the irony of it.

On what some woman I’ve never met did? Zero chance. If you’re implying that I’d get feelings for someone I saw more regularly, I’m not sure what’s off about that. To feel otherwise would be inhuman.

 

[Sega Genesis]

If you’re implying that I’d get feelings for someone I saw more regularly, I’m not sure what’s off about that. To feel otherwise would be inhuman.

Of course!

I never said, suggested or implied there was something 'off' about it. Or you for giving a f*ck under those circumstances.

And I realize this doesn't apply to you, but even for those who DO develop feelings for someone online they've never met in person, there is nothing off about that either! Imo.

It can and does happen and the feelings are genuine even if based in part on the fantasy of that person.

You made a statement that you don't give a f*ck and I responded that you really do which you actually just confirmed! Pertaining to real life not online.

Nothing off about that at all, it's the opposite! And yes very human.