She said "yes" to date then said "no"..just my luck!

[white sox bill]

OK this HB whom I've know for a long time and who flirts with me big time both in person and on phone. I called her last week to ask her out since her daughter has dance lessons at gym and she has one hour to blow and I thought we should go out for pizza right next door. She gave me her home number and I told her I'd call her later to firm up date. Well....

She came in today and I had her step into my office, Here's how the convo transpirred:
Me: Hey are you going to be home tonight, I'll buzz you and we can set up a night for pizza
Her: Well, I talked to a freind about this pizza thing and decided that it wouldn't be a good idea because I don't want cause problems between Bob and you. (Bob is her ex-hubby who BTW is fairly good friends with me, but not that good of freinds)
Me: Well he's gonna think whatever he thinks
Her: I just don't think it would be a good idea
Me: Well it wouldn't be THAT kind of date

So we small talked about her divorce and her ex and so on. Then she left and I thought Damn! Thing is this HB I think does have some interst in me, but apparantly am being co*ckblocked by her ex. I don't expect any suggestion, maybe she will change her mind later. Just had to vent! I know she will be at wedding in a few weeks, I will probably go stag, not sure she will have date or not. That would be a good time to hit on her if I want to. Do I even give this gal any attention at all anymore?

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo WSB,



Don't beat yourself up, dude. You saw what you wanted and you WENT for it. That's what MEN do. As to whether or not you should give this chick any attention or not anymore is up to you.

Personally, I would make sure I put her so far on the backburner that I would practically burn my ARMPIT when I go and reach for her again. Why? Because we already KNOW she has LOW interet in you.

Babes who take a vote or go POLLING for the opinions of others before they consent to go out with us, are ON THE FENCE about us in the first place. If this chick were really INTO you like we WANT her to be, she'd be saying YES to your dinner offer BEFORE she even knew what "dinner" would be served.

And I'm not being the stereotypical, hard-as-nails, tough guy who feels no pain here. No, I'm speaking from unfortunate experience----RECENT experience. I just NEXTED a girl who at first, NEXTED me because she had a list of 7 reasons why she SHOULDN'T see me anymore.

That's right. She had a LIST of 7 things! And trust me, 4 were ridiculous, 2 were trumped up, and only 1 had any merit at all---and even THAT one was debatable.

I managed to get with her ONE more time after she disclosed her "case" against me. And the only reason why she contacts me now is because she's reeling from the SHOCK of MY rejecting HER. lol

Here are the only things I would suggest to you:

Never postpone asking a chick out, and never telegraph that you are "going to BE" asking a chick out. Just DO it. Then stand back and study her reactions.

That way, you'll get your yes, no, or maybe right up front----before she has time to come up with excuses to hide behind. That way, the amount of time you waste will be minimal.

Her friends and her ex-husband were NOT cokkblocking you, SHE was cokkblocking HERSELF due to marginal interest to low interest. PLEASE go out and find some other HBs that are in "her" league of HOTNESS to take your mind off of HER.

And if you DO see her at the wedding, YES, bring a date. Why? Because she had her chance to get with the Legengary White Sox Bill----and passed it up. It's only fair that you make her "suffer" for it by having a chick with you that puts HER to shame.

You've got 2 weeks to complete your mission of finding her replacement(s), and when you do...the best thing that could happen is that when you see her at the wedding, you'll be too busy licking wedding cake frosting off the lips of your "NEW and IMPROVED (see----BETTER LOOKING)" date to even say "hello".




Peace...one day.

 

[Latinoman]

This is how I would have dealt with the convo...

Me: Hey are you going to be home tonight, I'll buzz you and we can set up a night for pizza

Her: Well, I talked to a freind about this pizza thing and decided that it wouldn't be a good idea because I don't want cause problems between Bob and you.

Me: Don’t worry about ME.

Her: I just don't think it would be a good idea

Me: YOU don’t think? For a second I thought that the one doing the thinking in here was your friend. Well never mind. That’s cool.

Her start small talking about her divorce.

Me: Listen, no offense. But don’t you think that talking about the divorce would cause as much problem between Bob and me as the Pizza thing? Here is my point. One of the reasons I like you is because you seem to be level headed and an independent thinker. That’s why I was surprised to hear that you allowed a third party to influence a decision you already made as you don’t strike me as a person that second guess her decisions. I will tell you what…if you feel that this truly can cause issues for YOU…then, I would certainly be willing to be discrete about the Pizza thing. So…pepperoni or light cheese? {then wink and smile at her}

but apparantly am being co*ckblocked by her ex.

No. Her friend did it.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...No. Her friend did it.

I agree. I wouldn't sweat over it because it was a tough situation to start, too many people involved. Onward and upward!

 

[kyphan]

If she has to consult her friends to grab a slice of pizza with you, can you imagine trying kiss the woman?

WSB: I'm having a great time with you, too bad your daughter has to come between us now! (gives her his best DJ look)
Her: (giving into the look) Well, I had a great time too.
*WSB leans in*
Her: one sec
*whips out phone and texts all her girlfriends, "he's cute, kiss him or not?"*

 

[squirrels]

So let's review:

-Kid from a previous marriage
-insane jealous ex-husband

Nah, you didn't lose much here. Next.

 

[Vulpine]

Oh yeah? Here's how I would've handled it:

Me: Hey are you going to be home tonight, I'll buzz you and we can set up a night for pizza
Her: Well, I talked to a freind about this pizza thing and decided that it wouldn't be a good idea because I don't want cause problems between Bob and you.
Me: *holds up hand and makes 'duck quacking' gesture, roll eyes* "Rah, rah, rah.... save it."
Her: I just don't think it would be a good idea
Me: "Is your friend hot? Ask her if she wants to go out for pizza! Hahahaha..." *Point to door, get back to work*

Alternate ending:

Me: "Excuse me." *Holds up 'wait' finger, picks up phone, punches up a standby* "Hey, what's up?... Yeah? Cool. Say, you got plans tonight? Wanna grab a pizza with me? Alright, swing by at 7. Talk to ya later." (If she's still standing there "It's not rocket science, it's pizza." *wave "buh-bye" in her face*

And yet another way, depending on my mood:

Me: Hey are you going to be home tonight, I'll buzz you and we can set up a night for pizza
Her: Well, I talked to a freind about this pizza thing and decided that it wouldn't be a good idea because I don't want cause problems between Bob and you.
Me: "You're fired." *Point to door*

But *shrug*, that's just me, and I seriously don't have time for B.S. Nor do I care to prioritize or cultivate drama. Things start getting dramatic? Things are done.

This:
Me: Well he's gonna think whatever he thinks
Her: I just don't think it would be a good idea
Me: Well it wouldn't be THAT kind of date

Is justifying and qualifying yourself and your actions to HER, don't supplicate, don't grovel. Punish women for ridiculous behavior, which this unquestionably is.

Oh, and let me point out that "Bob and you", when worded that way and "Bob" isn't there, is a clear verbal indicator that "Bob" is more important than "you". Had "you" came first, "WhiteSoxBill" would have more importance than "Cubbies Bob". Correct grammar, if you want to refer to that antique idea, would be "between Bob and yourself" or "between yourself and Bob". The concept behind "you and I" or "he and I" when speaking is one of respect. "Me and you" or "me and him" is poor because it implies you are more important, which is fine if you are a king or speaking of your slaves.

She came right up to you and disrespected you with some drama... and you rolled around at her feet begging for her to reconsider.
:nono:
Better luck next time.

 

[white sox bill]

Thanks guys for all the responses....some were great, but this just took me by surprise that I couln't come up with a snappy reponse. Guess I need to become better at thinking on my feet! Man, I used to get tail in droves when I was in my 20's and 30's, the last few yrs have been a b*tch! I seem to be in a dating slump and can't seem to get out of it! Maybe I should take the advice that I see given here from time to time....just take 30 days off of women...take a breather....catch up on some hobbies and quite trying to get laid.

 

[MacAvoy]

If it was me, I wouldn't ask to call her to firm up the pizza thing. I would just do it, basically your giving her multiple opportunities to flake out on you. She's already agreed to do it, you should have confirmed at that time.

 

[Vulpine]

Alternate ending:

Me: "Excuse me." *Holds up 'wait' finger, picks up phone, punches up a standby* "Hey, what's up?... Yeah? Cool. Say, you got plans tonight? Wanna grab a pizza with me? Alright, swing by at 7. Talk to ya later." (If she's still standing there "It's not rocket science, it's pizza." *wave "buh-bye" in her face*

I can't even tell you how many times I've use the "Call another chick right in the 'rejecting'/'game playing' chick's face" response. It's a default of mine when I can't think of a snappy comeback. I can't tell you how it works, or why it works, it seems so slap-in-the-face obnoxious... but sometimes the women change their tune after their rage subsides. Maybe it's the "demonstration of value", maybe it's the sheer confidence/boldness/disregard it takes to pull it off, maybe it's the reality check, the competition... donno. Don't care. Sometimes they come back with a better attitude, sometimes they don't come back. *shrug* It doesn't really matter because I win either way - and it's funny. Me, me, me, me, me.

 

[white sox bill]

If it was me, I wouldn't ask to call her to firm up the pizza thing. I would just do it, basically your giving her multiple opportunities to flake out on you. She's already agreed to do it, you should have confirmed at that time.

Yea I thought of that...but I didn't know my schedule. My bad

 

[Charm]

The real problem with this thread is you were eating PIZZA and not GUMBO.

 

[joekerr31]

me: so ill buzz you and come over for pizza later
her: dont think that's such a good idea due to bob and all.
me: ahhhhhh. that's cool. didn't know you still had feelings for him.
her: feelings? i dont!
me: its ok, no worries.
her: look, its just that...
me: honestly, don't worry about it. you haven't moved on from bob yet. i totallly understand.
her: (sits dumbfounded - thoughts racing about me telling bob that she still has feeling for him, wondering how her failsafe excuse just blew up in her face, etc.)
me: anyway, ive got to get back to work. have a great night.


now why would i respond this way? becuse the moment she is making it clear RIGHT off the bat that she has low interest. so i know that im already shot. im not just shot for the date, but lets say i get it, every time i go to make a move im going to get this bob sh*t. WAY to much hassle and not enough reward.

and if she's goign to hide behind bob and use him as an excuse (which is bs and just a way to mask low interest), then you better believe i'm going to play it up and use it back on her.

now you want to knwo the funny thing in all this. odds are she will stew over me thinking she is still in to bob. and eventually theres a 50% chance she will f*ck my brains out if i wanted JUST to prove to me that she is over bob.

 

[Latinoman]

joekerr....that's actually a very good response too!

 

[white sox bill]

Guys I guess what threw me off was that she actually DID flirt quite heavily with me by insinuating her and I going out, lightly slapping me numerous times and saying some pretty heavy things on theh phone w/me. What was I supposed to think? Of course all these things don't always mean interst, but when several people pointed these out, well I did what I think most of us here would have done. I went for it.

Sure hindsite is 20/20, its easy to think of things to say afterwords. Much harder at point of sale. I COULD bring it up again and say some of the suggestions made, but that may make me look weak and desperate and pushy. May be better off chalking this one up to experience

 

[Latinoman]

I know that this is off subject but; Are your Bill Melton who played third base for the Chicago White Sox in the 70's? This is probably a long shot, but had to ask.

He is 47. If he was playing in 1979...then he would have been around 20 or so years old.

 

[white sox bill]

I know that this is off subject but; Are your Bill Melton who played third base for the Chicago White Sox in the 70's? This is probably a long shot, but had to ask.

Noper...he's probably at least 10 yrs older than me, I see him on FoxSportNet all the time after ball games though. He lead the AL in HR's at least one time then injuries ended his career.

 

[white sox bill]

Well guys, I just got off phone with her ex Bob, and he's bummed.....said that Tracey (her name) told him she has a new BF who she just started dating a short time ago. That might explain the sudden flake out--looks like I got beat out this time...not to fear though, I'm rather sure this chump will f*ck things up, then she may start hitting on me again!

 

[jophil28]

Look at the evidence so far -
1.She flirted with you AT the office and gave you "green lights", but turned down a lightweight date.
2. She SAYS that she wants to Keep her EX H comfortable( so she has little courage to pursue another relationship in case he EX H gets miffed).
3. She claims that she discussed the Pizza thing with a friend and the friend said not to go out with you ( So she defers her adult decisions to a G/friend and once again she shows not courage in making her own choices)

Any kind of relationship with her would be at the constant mercy of third party approval . This woman in not fit to be in an adult relationsghip because she is acting like a weak needy child - NEXT !

She flirted with you to feed into her Attention ***** neediness.
Hit DELETE on her, pronto.

 

[MatureDJ]

How convenient! While she is already taking her daughter somewhere, you will entertain and feed her. Talk about BETA male behavior! And then she flakes on you?