Cancerian said:
Happy New Year guys!
Friday, I told the woman at work that I've been flirting with "If I don't talk to you before then, Happy New Year." She replied "I'll talk to you before then, I'll call or text you." She never called, and sent a generic happy new year text at midnight last night (probably sent it to everyone in her contact list). I'll see her tomorrow. Should I mention that she didn't call, or just leave it alone? Either way, I had a great weekend and last night was cool. I'll be talking about how much fun I had when I'm at work tomorrow! I could have gotten a number or two at an after-hours party, but it was at a place I had never been to before, and I was drunk and I didn't want to step on any toes.
Anyway, the woman's interest level has been increasing as far as I can tell, but I think she is on the fence. I have her laughing a lot lately, even at sh1t that isn't that funny. She is also getting more playful, like lightly punching me in the arm, or lightly throwing one of those donut-hole things at me when I was being C+f with a light neg. Also, I was going to go to the mall to exchange an item, and I invited her to go with me and we could get a couple of drafts afterwards, but she said she couldn't because family was coming over after work. She then says "I feel bad because I haven't gone out with you, I feel bad... The next time I will!" I said something like "Ok, whatever. Don't feel bad." I was trying to convey that I wasn't bothered that she didn't want to go. Also, I am pretty much the alpha-male at work as I have been able to pretty much do what I want, but that is another story!
Cancerian i am following this!
I want you to get a result simply due to the lvl of interest you have on this girl, i mean its like a running theme over the last few weeks, you and this chick!
I will say, she is giving text book IoI (indicators of interest) this is evident.
Does she like you, fancy you, is this what you desire truly a test to see if you have it?
Well i will say from your post you have a better understanding then alot of men do, with you actions but you still have some way to go yet!
No1 for me was the fact she did not set up another meeting, i;.e made herself available like some others have posted ( i wanted to see responses to this). I would say if she was really interested she would have arranged another conveniant time for a meet up.
Now there are many factors why she did not, but as stated if she had a very high lvl of interest none of the other factors would matter.
What i am still seeing is this women is treading very carefully with you and still slotting you in LTR land, but you still fail to see it. She is probably more experianced then you know, or it seems so to me.
There is a possibilty here that she is testing the waters and seeing just how far you will chase and in that qualify her attention need as most women need this or try to get it. But still if she had a very high lvl of attraction she would make herself available.
To consider this women does not recognise your lvl of intrest would be to assume she is a little nieve but sadly i dont think this is the case, i firmly believe she knows exactly what she is doing and playing you at your own game, for reasons not totally clear as yet, but point to a LTR type situation and not a get together for fun as you say.
Maybe it will turn into fun but normally women who want fun are more receptive then a simply IOI and nothing more, especcially when you have put in this much effort.
I would personally give her another chance then BACK off big style when she lets you down for the 2nd time, or is that the 3rd.
There are a few reasons why to back off and i think it is important to illustrate some.
When you back off (after the second excuse with no follow up from her part).
A few things can be observed:
1. She may miss the attention from you and then will start to CHASE YOU.
Which is a very powerful situation to be in, alot powerful then the one you are currently in. If you observe the lack of attention from you as got her feellers out, you can then observe how much she is investing to get your attention back.
This is a true test as a it is easy to give into the attention the first time round, but i will say you MUST keep creating the feeling of her chasing you and that is to not bite when she casts the attention rod out, but play it in a way to keep her coming back and trying HARDER to get you, much like you are now to her.
When she is at a stage where she is making alot of the moves, then arrange a date but only when you know for certain her intrest as peaked, you will see a more receptive response.
2. She is not really that intrested and wont chase you.
This too is postive since it allows you free no guilt to persue other interest at work, or have things return to some normality at work where by you dont have to worry about this women, but you need to accept it aint going to happen and have the NEXT mentality, or be forever stuck in What if zone!
The way to handle this is to know you put in effort and it still turned fruitless, so your energies are better spend elsewhere.
3. She takes you up on your offer, she volunters a night she can make it, with a little coaxing on your part. What i would have said when she declined your date, is "so when are you next free"! With that you know for certain on her response if your wasting your time.
Gl with this just be careful here, but still this is going back to the original thread.
Also i am amazed how you can even read into an issue of a none phone call like a big deal. You need to accept women are probably as shy as you are and want different things, a women of this age is most probably if she wants a man at all is after something more tangible then a fly away fu** one night especcially from a work collegue, i say you getting in hot water on this but your in the zone so i will let you be the judge of your own actions.
But it was expected for her to not return you call, your not even dating or going out, so why worry about RL type behavours? since this is the core route of the post. The one exibhiting LTR type manouvers is in fact you, granted there mixed in with some player or DJ skills, but it does not take away the fact your still doing alot of things to qulaify you want a LTR, since it is clear from your posts.
A guy who wanted a quick fix fu** would not be concerned with this in truth.
But hey most guys on here are after a quick sex are they not.
The fact is no they are not most if not all are after seacrhing the crap out there, seeing there worth then only through a higher state of awarness going with the RIGHT women. Granted some want to simply fu** but if society was a little different a think a lot of guys here would be happy tucked away with some fine women, being content, sad fact is there is alot of sh** out there these tips are the means to filter out the cr**, the added benifit is it allows you to fu** other women and place them in f888k zones, which a AFC would end marrying a poor quality women, i know i have been there, one of the reasons i came to this site, to see my shortfalls and improve.
Dont make the same mistake twice and have a poor women game you, not that she is poor, but i said it once, you can do alot better then a 42 year old with 2 kids.