Yesterday, my girlfriend went out to the bar with all of her friends (a few of them happen to be friends of mine as well), and I wasn't able to attend. One of my friends' boyfriends' had brought some of his friends with him, and one of them apparently started taking a liking to my girlfriend and bought her a few drinks or whatever. She was very honest with me, asking me if I minded if another guy was buying her drinks, and I was cool with that...(she told him she was taken)...a free drink is a free drink. I have told her many times that I have complete trust in her until she gives me a reason not to...and she is very faithful, so I wasn't worried about some guy buying her a few drinks. Everything ended up going fine...she even told me that even if she was single, she would have no interest in the guy. But the main point I'm trying to make is the thing we talked about next. We started talking about what it was like when we used to be single...I think the fact that she went out to the bar without me kinda reminded her of her days when I wasn't with her (8 months ago). She said how she sometimes thinks about the days when she was single, and how she used to love 'The Chase' when she would go to parties, and the challenges of flirting with guys, and getting them to talk to her, etc... She is by no means a *****...she never was anything like that...she just used to be a flirt when she was single, and I think this event at the bar reminded her of those days. She immediately followed it by saying that she loves me more than anything, and would never trade our relationship simply to be Chased/Chase other guys. She noted how that when we first started talking, how fun it was to flirt with each other because we knew we both liked each other, and do all that other gay stuff that new couples do. We are both very in love, and that 'Chase' feeling obviously isn't as relevant as it was months ago. How do I go about giving her that feeling again? That even though we are a serious couple, we can still have that feeling like we're still trying to pursue each other every once in awhile?
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
She Misses 'The Chase'
- Thread starter A-Man2151
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
guitaronfire411
Senior Don Juan
It sounds like she's losing interest because you're not a challenge OR you're becoming boring. I could be wrong, though.
CORVETTE06
Senior Don Juan
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i had a similar situation a few years ago
the more u act like ur upset the more she will do it..
the more u act like ur upset the more she will do it..
I think what this girl is experiencing isn't the loss of the "chase" per se, what she's probably mistakenly referring to is that initial eurphoria a couple gets when they are falling in love is now wearing thin. It last longer for some than others. That gaga rush feeling at the beginning doesn't last forever. Some people think that if that feeling goes away, something must have gone wrong. But nothing is further from the truth. That feeling is produced by chemicals in your brain induced by stimuli. Google "Oxytocin" It's a powerful drug created by your own body. Like any drug, after repeated exposure, it's effects wear thin. A mature woman with experience will realize that for what it is, those feelings of high will eventually be replaced by something more mature, genuine love and selfless devotion. An immature woman will assume something is wrong, dump you and look for another guy to enduce those chemicals in her brain once again. Rinse and repeat 1 year later when she's bored of that guy, and repeat the process till she matures enough to appreciate a good thing.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
