She mention her BF even when she is interested

[java01]

Engaged in a conversation with this girl twice at a bistro in a local club (she is employed by the club), and twice she managed to mention her boyfriend in the conversation.

Thing is, I never asked her.

Plus she is sending signals that she is interested.

If she was not sending signs of interest in the first place, I would take no much notice of her and next her, but it being the contrary, I am confused???

If she was interested, wouldn’t she avoid mentioning her boyfriend, wouldn’t she just think, ‘oh, this guy is better, fvck my bf’, and end up with me???

Pook mentions that “it is quit possible that she wants you” and that “she may want to be stolen” when she mentions the BF, but why???

I’m confused here, need answers!!!

 

[ENIGMA16]

She wants you but is obligated to her boyfriend, so she is torn. This means that you have the opportunity to sway her, which is what she is hoping you will do.

Last weekend I made out with some girl who told me all about her boyfriend just because I was pretty much persistent and didn't care. We probably would have f*cked but we were both from out of town and ended up sleeping on a couch in a friend's living room with others in the room.

 

[java01]

So she is waiting for me to make a move...

 

[BlizzardGuy]

i'd say so...

 

[ENIGMA16]

Don't be a loser! Go find a girl who doesn't have a boyfriend... you will eventually be cheated on by this woman. I guarantee nothing good will come of your actions, you are in effect cheating yourself and when sh1t hits the fan (and it will) no one will feel sorry for you.

I wouldn't go out with a girl that cheats, but there's nothing wrong with messing around with them.

 

[java01]

Don't be a loser! Go find a girl who doesn't have a boyfriend... you will eventually be cheated on by this woman. I guarantee nothing good will come of your actions, you are in effect cheating yourself and when sh1t hits the fan (and it will) no one will feel sorry for you.

Doesn’t this only apply if she's married, not with a BF???

 

[Kal0051]

Doesn’t this only apply if she's married, not with a BF???

agree, they're only off limits if they are engaged or married. Though I probably wouldn't pursue a girl that's been dating a guy for years, probably won't work out in your favor. But if they've only been dating a couple of months then I'd just treat her like any other girl and see if she's interested.

 

[DJDamage]

Doesn’t this only apply if she's married, not with a BF???

Exactly.

Women replace boyfriends all the time so it doesn't matter if she has a boyfriend or not.

You can fvck a girl like that but just don't make her your girlfriend with women karma is a b1tch!

As for the OP you should have asked for her number, if you would have gotten rejected then you would've known exactly where you stood with her.

 

[acehole]

Dude she said her BF twice cause she wants you to know that cause shes not interested in you in that way. If she mentions her BF its a bad sign. Ive seen my girl get hit on multiple times and everytime shes says oh my bf this or that then she runs away to me. If her bf was in the room she would be like yea bf over there blah blah. She might like your company and just wants someone to talk to while shes working.

 

[java01]

agree, they're only off limits if they are engaged or married. Though I probably wouldn't pursue a girl that's been dating a guy for years, probably won't work out in your favor. But if they've only been dating a couple of months then I'd just treat her like any other girl and see if she's interested.

Yea man, you took the words out of my mouth!

 

[ENIGMA16]

Dude she said her BF twice cause she wants you to know that cause shes not interested in you in that way. If she mentions her BF its a bad sign. Ive seen my girl get hit on multiple times and everytime shes says oh my bf this or that then she runs away to me. If her bf was in the room she would be like yea bf over there blah blah. She might like your company and just wants someone to talk to while shes working.

Yeah this could definitely be the case but I think if she's sending signals that she's interested chances are what I said earlier apply.

 

[java01]

Exactly.
As for the OP you should have asked for her number, if you would have gotten rejected then you would've known exactly where you stood with her.

I realise this mistake, it's like I know, but I didn't think quick enough, goes to show, you can know the game back to front, but it doesn’t mean **** if you don't acted quick!

Hey that rhymed

It doesn’t mean sh1t if you don't acted quick!

That's mine, copyright java01.

That’s the difference with experience.

 

[java01]

For anyone else just getting into SS: This is not what DJ'ing is about. This is the first stage where you've found that you have a bit of skill with women and your randomly going out and engaging anyone that you can. If your smart you'll start using your moral compass as a guide and that will lead you to quality women.

Java I know you think what you're doing is cool, but from where I stand its actually quite pathetic... you are actively pursuing someone's sloppy seconds.
That speaks worlds for the amount of game you possess. I laugh when guys continually try and pickup my gf after she just finished giving me a BJ... I mean you really want to touch my girlfriend's hands and kiss that mouth eh? Yum.

If you're smart you'll grow up and realize there is a wealth of great women out there who aren't in relationships and won't sneak around on their boyfriends. Those are the girls you need to set your sights on... if you allow this girl to sleep with you (which I'm certain isn't hard) then you are teaching her that doing this to you is also quite acceptable. Prepare to be cheated on by the next woman you date because you will be continually paranoid that she will do the samething to you that you've done with so many other women.

Damage is right: Your actions will follow you and you'll attract more of what you act upon.

I am beginning to see that North America's problem is not just the women but the new generation of men too.

I’m sorry man; with all due respect I’m just not getting you!!!

I have strong moral value in a lot of aspects of my life, Jesus is the way, but when it comes to Mother Nature, it’s unforgiving.

All moral values, such as monogamy, was invented by man in an effort to control human nature, but it’s only an attempt!

I’ve had many highly committed women (LTR, engaged, married) make sexual fronts on me, but I had enough moral value to not pursue.

OK, that gets the moral crap out of the way.

Now when it comes to BF’s and GF’s in our sexually active modern culture, it is common to continually move to the next or rotate until an LTR which will eventuate into engagement and then marriage if all goes well.

If you read the OP again, it is the high interest level that confused the fvck out of me, if it wasn’t for that I would not give a sh1t!



P.S: If she doesn’t turn out to be LTR material, I could do with a FB on the side

 

[java01]

OK, thanks guys, all your replies are appreciated, even though some contradict each other, I think they will all work, depending which way to take it from here.

fuzzx, just too let you know, I never diss’d you, now I know what you mean and respect you for that, you open new perspective on things.

I don’t give a sh1t anymore; if she really wanted me she’d leave her BF and let me know about it.

 

[Igetit!]

Engaged in a conversation with this girl twice at a bistro in a local club (she is employed by the club), and twice she managed to mention her boyfriend in the conversation.

Thing is, I never asked her.

I don't know if you've already gotten the answer you were seeking or not,but it would help if we knew what the conversation was leading up to her boyfriend remarks.

If she was interested, wouldn’t she avoid mentioning her boyfriend, wouldn’t she just think, ‘oh, this guy is better, fvck my bf’, and end up with me???

Well there could be several reasons why she mentioned the boyfriend...


1)She's not interested,and wants you to leave her alone.

2)She is interested,but she want the responsibility for anything that may possibly happen to fall ON YOU.

3)She wants you to know that she's available for sex ONLY,not for a relationship/commitment.




I once approached a girl,and DIRECTLY directly asked her out.

Here's how the conversation went....


me:Hey,you don't have a ring on your finger. Good,so when are we going out?

her:I have a boyfriend.

me:I DIDN'T ASK YOU if you had a boyfriend. I ASKED YOU when we're going out.

her:Well....I'm going to (name of a club) tonight.


Believe it or not,this was back in my AFC days. I just went out and decided to "experiement" with different types of approaches just to see what would happen.



Needless to say,I was SHOCKED.




Point is she told me she had a boyfriend,and yet,she was willing to meet up with me....on the same night I approached her.




So like I said,it could be several reasons,but the only way to know for sure exactly why would be to know what the convo was leading up to her mentioning the BF.

]

 

[java01]

So like I said,it could be several reasons,but the only way to know for sure exactly why would be to know what the convo was leading up to her mentioning the BF.

First convo. She was all starry eyed, talking too fast, then I started asking direct questions like, how old are you and sh1t like that.

Second convo. Stary eyed again, talking a little too fast, just normal convo. Think it was about spot and gambling, whatever I didn’t give a sh1t because I already dropped her after she mention the BF.

Oh yea, she never said 'I have a BF' she just slips it in like 'I went to the shops with my BF' or 'my BF watches it' you know, sneaky!!!

 

[Igetit!]

First convo. She was all starry eyed, talking too fast, then I started asking direct questions like, how old are you and sh1t like that.

If you mean questions like...

Where are you from?
How old are you?
What do you like to do for fun?
What do you do?

If this is what you mean by the types of questions you asked,then in my opinion,her mentioning her boyfriend was a sign of disinterest.



There's no attraction there with those questions. In fact,they shouldn't even be asked until after you've generated attraction in her.



Why would she want someone who she's NOT ATTRACTED TO to know all these things about her?



I'm with DJDamage on this one. If you had gone for the number,you'd know for sure whether or not she was interested.

Oh yea, she never said 'I have a BF' she just slips it in like 'I went to the shops with my BF' or 'my BF watches it' you know, sneaky!!!

Yeah,she knew what she was doing.

In my example,the girl told me straight up she had a boyfriend because I approached her directly. In fact,me asking her when we were going to go out was the VERY FIRST QUESTION I asked her.


I get to the point.


I establish the attraction/sexual attraction FIRST. Once that's done,then I go with the "where are you from/where do you work" types of questions.




It's attraction FIRST,then the "getting to know you".


Attraction FIRST.



If you're not attracted to a girl,does anything else really matter?



If you're not attracted to a girl,do you care where she went to school? Or what her hobbies are? Or what kind of music she's into?


Of course not.



It's the same for women.


If a woman isn't attracted to you,she isn't going to care whether you two have things in common or not,or what you like to do for fun,or where you're from.



Seems to me like that may be what was going on with this girl.



Initially she was open to seeing what you had to offer,hence the "starry eyes" or whatever,but once she didn't FEEL anything,then she peppered the convo with,"my boyfriend this/my boyfriend that".





She didn't say flat out,"I have a boyfriend" because you didn't flat out show you interest. You were hinting,easing around it,so she "eased" a few "my boyfriends" into the convo.



That way you'd get the hint and not ask her out.

 

[java01]

It's attraction FIRST,then the "getting to know you".

Ok, I’ll go more in depth.

It all started when I had curiosity with her name (on name tag) so then I comment on it to test her receptability, then she just took it from there......it was like 90/10 dialogue.

That’s why asked her direct questions early on, she responded well (too well) and if I didn’t say anything she’d just blabber on. When a customer came along and forced her attention off me, I left!!!

 

[Energizer]

Girls can be nice too you without wanting to get into your underpants you know?

And truth is, if she was really interested in you, you'd know about it, you wouldn't be on here asking for advice.

I've noticed that when a girl drops in the fact she has a boyfriend, she is doing so to 'ploitely reject you'.

This girl may well sleep with you (if you twist her arm enough), but I reckon when push comes to shove, she'll always choose her boyfriend over you.

 

[DonGorgon]

There is always other dudes in the picture face it accept it.. just focus on getting what you want (except monogamy cause you cant have that from her.)