she makes plans now no time for me?help pls

[t510]

hi
Im looking for some peer advice on what to do in this situation.

I met a cute girl and we hit it off. we exchanged email addresses and she kept writing me. With the intent to move things forward I ask for her number... she replys that we should just meet for coffee this Sat.

I wrote back saying I couldn't make that date and we should try another time.
Now all of sudden she seems totally against the idea saying she's busy for a whole month! wth?
what did I do wrong? Is there anyway I can turn this around? Should I next?

 

[pipe007]

wow, so she shows you high interest level by taking initiative and asking you to meet up on saturday... and what did you do?

right, you pretty much told her you werent interested. Not because you refused to go that saturday, but because you said "let's try some other time"

that's a B.S answer, you didnt offer her another exact day like "oh let's do friday instead or sunday, or w.e"

you decided to play a dumb game, and she is smart enough to next you..

learn for next time

 

[t510]

Ok
so I messed up.

Is there anyway to fix it. I just wrote with a sincere apology and told her to let me know when she is free

 

[ngdonjuan]

Use the opportunity to flirt. "Hey you have to eat don't you? And you know you'll have more fun at dinner with me."

 

[t510]

I said that... she how it goes over

 

[BlackEricNorthman]

Ok
so I messed up.

Is there anyway to fix it. I just wrote with a sincere apology and told her to let me know when she is free

So you shut her down on the Saturday date, didn't make a counter-offer/better suggestion to meet, then when she goes cold you apologize profusely and throw the planning of the meetup in her hands instead of taking the lead and arranging the date? This girl may be dead in the water man.

I started good when she asked you to get coffee. She wanted to see you Saturday but that wasn't a good day for you. No problem there in the beginning Always have a "Plan A" and "Plan B" for a date.

Example:
She wants to meet with you on Saturday, but you made other plans (your excuse is work, family, classes etc. I would stick with work personally). Also pay attention/ask what time of day she wants to meet. You could always work in something like...

YOU: "I'm tied up at work early Saturday. I know this sweet spot that serves coffee 24/7. [insert local coffee shop name/hangout] Have you heard of it?"

That way you still seem interested, you guide her while not compromising your own schedule, and you may suggest a cooler spot that she may not know of.

Now you are past that point. You shut her down and she went cold. Now instead of apologizing profusely what could of saved you would have been calling/texting her with this:

YOU: "Hey I wanted to see you but this weekend was really hectic. I've been thinking about you recently and I'd love to see you [set a date within the week] and make it up to you by getting you hopped up on caffeine lol!

Unfortunately you gave her the power by letting her, a pissed off and probably lowly invested woman now, pick the time and date to contact you and pick the date. This is good cause it's a valuable life lesson on steering the relationship to your schedule early and always presenting yourself to be in high demand. Don't be shocked or upset if you don't hear from her again though.

This is a win.

 

[VladPatton]

In your defense, her not giving you her number was weird. The only thing you should of done was to make an exact counter offer to re-meet. That you have to resort to email for contact kinda sux, so I am not so sure her interest is high.

Don't grovel with too many 'I'm Sorries', re-schedule and see what happens.

 

[Krueg]

You didn't mess up. She is trying to controll you by being on her terms. She is an inflexable girl.

Wait.. you wrote her back apologizing? Thats where you messed up.

Time to start over!

I'd let this be a learning experience and move on.

 

[t510]

shes back

 

[Igetit!]

hi
Im looking for some peer advice on what to do in this situation.

I met a cute girl and we hit it off. we exchanged email addresses and she kept writing me. With the intent to move things forward I ask for her number... she replys that we should just meet for coffee this Sat.

I wrote back saying I couldn't make that date and we should try another time.
Now all of sudden she seems totally against the idea saying she's busy for a whole month! wth?
what did I do wrong? Is there anyway I can turn this around? Should I next?

I don't understand this. I'd LOVE for a girl to do what this girl did here with you. You said after sending a few emails back and forth for a bit,you went for the number to try to move things forward,but she said you two should just meet for coffee Saturday.


Huh? Dude,what's the deal? You seem more occupied with getting the girl's number than ACTUALLY MEETING UP with her.


You went for the number. Instead,she suggested a date. Isn't the point of getting the number to call her and eventually set up a date? She just bypassed the middleman,that's all.


I would have been content going straight from email to actual date without getting the number first. Long as she shows up and doesn't flake,it's all good to me.

Is there anyway to fix it. I just wrote with a sincere apology and told her to let me know when she is free

I think someone mentioned before that you made a mistake WHEN YOU APOLOGIZED. I agree. What I don't get is WHY you apologized.
What did you do wrong here?



If Saturday really was bad for you and you had to work or already had plans,then what are you apologizing for? That's life dude,you don't say you're sorry for that. However,if you DIDN'T have anything else to do and you turned her down...why? All I know is WHATEVER THE REASON WAS,you apologizing just made things WORSE.

 

[JohnChops]

wow, so she shows you high interest level by taking initiative and asking you to meet up on saturday... and what did you do?

right, you pretty much told her you werent interested. Not because you refused to go that saturday, but because you said "let's try some other time"

that's a B.S answer, you didnt offer her another exact day like "oh let's do friday instead or sunday, or w.e"

you decided to play a dumb game, and she is smart enough to next you..

learn for next time

truth. 100% truth. Forget fixing it, move on. Go. Now.