She lied to me about who she's f*cked...how concerned should I be?

[Jaxon]

Been in a relationship with this girl for about 6 months now. I made it clear when we started the relationship that socializing or talking with exes or people you've f*cked is not ok. You can do it, but if you do you're not gonna be with me.

As far as I can tell she's cut them out of her lives about as much as she can. Deleted them off Facebook, deleted their numbers from her phone, doesn't talk to them anymore as far as I can tell.

She's also seemed to be pretty trustworthy, at least as trustworthy as a female can be. She's been straight forward and honest with me on just about everything. She's not a girl that tries to impress you or imbelish what she says, she just says what it is.

I've asked her about her sexual past a couple of times and she's always said she doesn't want to tell me her number, and she doesn't want to know mine. Smart chick right? Well this was ok with me at first, until it started to eat away at me to the point where I would prod her about who she's f*cked.

If she said she was going out, or she talked to so and so and they happened to be a dude, I'd ask what her past relationship with them was like. If she talked about ex boyfriends or old guy friends that got in touch with her, I'd always ask what their relationship was and if they'd f*cked.

So long story short, I found out that one of the dudes she told me was a guy she had only kissed, and had "slept on her couch" but nothing else, she had actually f*cked. Likewise for another friend she told me had been completely plutonic.

It was one of those situations where I found out about one, and I told her I wanted to know about all of the guys in her life she had been lying to me about f*cking.

So she came out with it and it turns out there's at least one other guy that she used to be really "good friends" with that she f*cked.

She was crying the whole time she was telling me, saying she had just omitted the information because she didn't want it to change how I look at her. She said if she could take back sleeping with them she would, and she's super happy with me and doesn't want to be with anyone else, etc etc.

So my question/concerns are this: for one, yes I know, it's better not to ask about the past. I did, sue me. Two, she lied to me about sleeping with them, but I believe she did so because like she said she didn't want to make me think different of her.

How acceptable is this? Should I be concerned about her lying about sleeping with these guys? It's in her past, and I know I have no right to hold it against her and I won't, but why wouldn't you just be up front with me the first time I asked? I've been completely honest with her about my past up to this point. I don't volunteer info on girls I've f*cked, but if she specifically asks, I don't lie or "omit" it as she put it.

Thoughts?

 

[Warrior74]

Been in a relationship with this girl for about 6 months now. I made it clear when we started the relationship that socializing or talking with exes or people you've f*cked is not ok. You can do it, but if you do you're not gonna be with me.

As far as I can tell she's cut them out of her lives about as much as she can. Deleted them off Facebook, deleted their numbers from her phone, doesn't talk to them anymore as far as I can tell.

She's also seemed to be pretty trustworthy, at least as trustworthy as a female can be. She's been straight forward and honest with me on just about everything. She's not a girl that tries to impress you or imbelish what she says, she just says what it is.

I've asked her about her sexual past a couple of times and she's always said she doesn't want to tell me her number, and she doesn't want to know mine. Smart chick right? Well this was ok with me at first, until it started to eat away at me to the point where I would prod her about who she's f*cked.

If she said she was going out, or she talked to so and so and they happened to be a dude, I'd ask what her past relationship with them was like. If she talked about ex boyfriends or old guy friends that got in touch with her, I'd always ask what their relationship was and if they'd f*cked.

So long story short, I found out that one of the dudes she told me was a guy she had only kissed, and had "slept on her couch" but nothing else, she had actually f*cked. Likewise for another friend she told me had been completely plutonic.

It was one of those situations where I found out about one, and I told her I wanted to know about all of the guys in her life she had been lying to me about f*cking.

So she came out with it and it turns out there's at least one other guy that she used to be really "good friends" with that she f*cked.

She was crying the whole time she was telling me, saying she had just omitted the information because she didn't want it to change how I look at her. She said if she could take back sleeping with them she would, and she's super happy with me and doesn't want to be with anyone else, etc etc.

So my question/concerns are this: for one, yes I know, it's better not to ask about the past. I did, sue me. Two, she lied to me about sleeping with them, but I believe she did so because like she said she didn't want to make me think different of her.

How acceptable is this? Should I be concerned about her lying about sleeping with these guys? It's in her past, and I know I have no right to hold it against her and I won't, but why wouldn't you just be up front with me the first time I asked? I've been completely honest with her about my past up to this point. I don't volunteer info on girls I've f*cked, but if she specifically asks, I don't lie or "omit" it as she put it.

Thoughts?

My first thought is, why the hell are you even asking about her past?

My second thought is, you must deep down think she's a freak (slvt, slept with a lot of dudes, what ever you call it), so you felt the need to ask. You don't trust what your eyes/gut already told you.

My third thought is, you're catching feelings for this chic, which is what set your gut off. Guts don't have eyes so they don't go blind.

My fourth thought is, you said **** the gut, I want to date this freak and I want to believe she's a good girl, but I really don't, so I'll ask, showing I don't trust my gut and I'm immature, a mature man would just treat her for what she is and not fall in love.

My fifth thought is that you know the truth but came to sosuave to look for someone to cosign on you falling in love with this chic.

My sixth thought is that you are not gonna listen to anything anyone says and **** it all up.

My seventh thought is this. She's a freak, and she knows she's a freak. She doesn't want you to judge her..she doesn't want to be punished for being who she is...she wants you dude. She knows she aint ****..your beating a puppy...all you can do is this..if you don't want the puppy, don't get attached, play with for a while and then let it go to some other owner. Hit that shiit for a while, enjoy it, then let it go man. That's all freaks are good for. Don't punish them for it. Grilling em on being a freak and making her feel like shiit. Just know your gonna hit it for about a month or two maybe three and then fade out on her. By then you found a new one. Hopefully a better one. Play the game son.

My eighth thought is that you are not gonna listen to anything anyone says and **** it all up.

*take all advice with a grain of salt, even this...good luck whatever happens bro*

 

[KontrollerX]

Warrior pretty much covered it but yeah you became a douche for asking her about her past.

No guy should give a fvck.

The only thing that matters where it concerns having a worthy relationship with a girl is whether she cheats on you during your relationship with her or not.

What shouldn't concern you is who she had threesomes, gangbangs and one night stands with in the past.

All that matters is how a particular girl treats you in your particular interaction with her.

Not her past.

Though it is acceptable to delve into a chick's history if she is willing when you are first getting to know her but again when you are already in a relationship with her, you break your deal with her and start prying you just become an insecure beta boy douchebag thats unworthy of her so stop it right now and never do it again with her or any girl you get with.

Its lame.

 

[Deniska]

My thoughts.

It seems you have insecurities, that she fvcked more guys then you fvcked girls. Same reason you are controlling of who she talks to and who her friends are unless you want to marry her.

 

[fertileTurtle]

You are too emo about this. Just call her on her bullspit and use it to your advantage. What else do you want? Pity on a silver platter?

 

[Allurre]

^^ they're all right.

Focus on what you have at present, and what awaits in the future.

Peering into her dirty or shattered past is a waste of time and can only compromise the health of your relationship with her.

 

[fertileTurtle]

....

 

[horaholic]

Im uin agreement with the above posters, and I would like to add that the reason she lied to you is because you're making a big deal out of it. Honestly is great and all, but people put you in a position where you feel like you have to lie about certain shyt. I think this is the case.

Im guessing she felt as if you were going to make her feel like a hor, and make a huge deal out of this, so she lied. im not excusing her for lying, but you may need to examine yourself, and ask yourself if you are being too hard on her, and making her feel like she HAS to lie. You can't expect honesty from her if you dont make her feel like she can be honest with you without repercussions. You being too possessive in general, here, but you cant possess someones past. I understand not wanting her to hang out with dudes she's banged, but there is a limit, and you are reeking of insecurity here, and she's probably losing respect for you for it. And when they lose respect is when they are more likely to cheat on you. Hell, if you're accusitory towards her, she might as well just go and do it anyway, right? Dont pry into someones past. no good can come from it.

I get mad when they blab about dudes they had ONS's with. I dont want to hear it. There's no reason for it. Old relationships are one thing to talk about to an extent, there is no reason for blabbing about old ONS's. Thats about the one thing I actually WANT a girl, to lie to me about.

 

[sodbuster]

first why are you so insecure? Second, women start about 4 years and bang about 10 guys more than they will tell you. You won't believe the stuff I've found out-even 14 years after marriage[her single days] The only thing I would be concerned about is is she doing the stuff with you she did with them? Or are you on the restricted diet?

 

[Bible_Belt]

I made it clear when we started the relationship that socializing or talking with exes or people you've f*cked is not ok. You can do it, but if you do you're not gonna be with me.


fwiw, my girlfriend and I both still talk to our exes. I'm not saying you have to be the same, but the deeper issue, as other people have said, is your own insecurities.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

Grilling her about that stuff was beta protocol. It's the kind of sh!t that makes them go cheat on you. Good job.

Find some distractions. Cool the fvck off with the interrogations and instigations.

If you really like this girl, don't chump out on her.

 

[Kal0051]

HOLY FVCK DUDE!!!!!

what's with the interrogations? If you trust this chick then trust her! You seem EXTREMELY insecure. I'm wondering how you even got this girl in the first place, with your untrusting, controlling behavior.

Let her socialize with her friends, and who cares if they slept together sometime in the past (it happens dude, I've slept with 4 girls I hang out with frequently and we're just friends now).

Now don't think I'm hating on you, because I'm not. But you need to understand that this **** will drive her away or cause her to cheat on you. Anyways work on that, and good luck.

 

[Soprano]

Been in a relationship with this girl for about 6 months now. I made it clear when we started the relationship that socializing or talking with exes or people you've f*cked is not ok. You can do it, but if you do you're not gonna be with me.

As far as I can tell she's cut them out of her lives about as much as she can. Deleted them off Facebook, deleted their numbers from her phone, doesn't talk to them anymore as far as I can tell.

lol if you gotta girl willing to do that for you.....dont be grillin her about her past, you both ****ed and dated people before you met, everyone has, thats how life works.

 

[Mr CIDH]

Been in a relationship with this girl for about 6 months now. I made it clear when we started the relationship that socializing or talking with exes or people you've f*cked is not ok. You can do it, but if you do you're not gonna be with me.

You might scare away that girl with your insecurities. Why on earth not let her talk with exes?!

 

[shaunuk]

Mate...

Do you think her life began the day she met you?

Then lay the fvck off her just because she has had sex before she met you...jeesus.

She didn't really "lie" to you about anything. She did just omit things -- because she's into you and didn't want you to think she's a "slvt" -- which you seem to.

Whether you "allow" her to talk to exes or people she's fvcked before is a different matter. Personally I think it's not really your perogative at all. I wouldn't care if my girlfriend exchanges pleasantries with ex's or ex-fvcks.

 

[women haze]

Women are Hors..the sooner you get that in your mind the better.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Been in a relationship with this girl for about 6 months now. I made it clear when we started the relationship that socializing or talking with exes or people you've f*cked is not ok. You can do it, but if you do you're not gonna be with me.

As far as I can tell she's cut them out of her lives about as much as she can. Deleted them off Facebook, deleted their numbers from her phone, doesn't talk to them anymore as far as I can tell.

She's also seemed to be pretty trustworthy, at least as trustworthy as a female can be. She's been straight forward and honest with me on just about everything. She's not a girl that tries to impress you or imbelish what she says, she just says what it is.

I've asked her about her sexual past a couple of times and she's always said she doesn't want to tell me her number, and she doesn't want to know mine. Smart chick right? Well this was ok with me at first, until it started to eat away at me to the point where I would prod her about who she's f*cked.

If she said she was going out, or she talked to so and so and they happened to be a dude, I'd ask what her past relationship with them was like. If she talked about ex boyfriends or old guy friends that got in touch with her, I'd always ask what their relationship was and if they'd f*cked.

So long story short, I found out that one of the dudes she told me was a guy she had only kissed, and had "slept on her couch" but nothing else, she had actually f*cked. Likewise for another friend she told me had been completely plutonic.

It was one of those situations where I found out about one, and I told her I wanted to know about all of the guys in her life she had been lying to me about f*cking.

So she came out with it and it turns out there's at least one other guy that she used to be really "good friends" with that she f*cked.

She was crying the whole time she was telling me, saying she had just omitted the information because she didn't want it to change how I look at her. She said if she could take back sleeping with them she would, and she's super happy with me and doesn't want to be with anyone else, etc etc.

So my question/concerns are this: for one, yes I know, it's better not to ask about the past. I did, sue me. Two, she lied to me about sleeping with them, but I believe she did so because like she said she didn't want to make me think different of her.

How acceptable is this? Should I be concerned about her lying about sleeping with these guys? It's in her past, and I know I have no right to hold it against her and I won't, but why wouldn't you just be up front with me the first time I asked? I've been completely honest with her about my past up to this point. I don't volunteer info on girls I've f*cked, but if she specifically asks, I don't lie or "omit" it as she put it.

Thoughts?

Thoughts???? This is an example of who and why women feel judged by insecure, possesive men, so they must avoid or refuse to give details.

If a woman makes you that insecure, maybe you're not in the same league. For better or worse, you might be better off dating someone who's is not as desired or who doesn't have much of a social/sexual past.

If you are insecure about her past, then maybe she is not the girl for you. Find yourself a virgin or move to somewhere you don't know anybody, or hook up with somebody who is not originally from your town, and doesn't have a very long social life locally.

Why wasn't she up front? Because you wouldn't be able to handle it and she feared you were going to impose all kinds of rule about who she could and couldn't talk to.

Guess what? Like most chicks, she probably doesn't count guys she's hooked up on trips or ONS as part of her total # of guys she's been with.

She now knows you want to know so badly what her number is. She also knows whatever number it is, probably much higher than yours, you will judge her, even if you don't intend to. She should know better at this point than to tell you. If she does, she will have to lie and tell you a lower number, because you might not be able to handle the truth if it is anywhere or more than your total number of partners.

All the best.