Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

She left me!

Atom Smasher

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Help me to understand your point of view. I see that he wrote the following:

"I'm going through a break up, where I hit my ex girlfriend and went over her house to talk unannounced. I have been dumped from previous relationships for smothering my partners with presence, showing needy behaviors, overcrowding their space, over touching them, wanting to spend all my free time with them. I have strong sexual desire, make my relationships too much sex driven. When partners leave me, I tend to beg please and chase them. In other areas of my life, like job, I feel I'm still very irresponsible not mature enough. I'm selfish, I only care for me and for my needs, I don't seem to have interest in anyone or anything."
 

worldknown

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OP, looking at this situation plus your writings here in 2016, it’s clear to see you have a serious issue with self-control. Fortunately it sounds like you’re recognizing this and that you’re ready to look into addressing it.

When it comes to women, all men need to recognize the invisible magnetic-like force, or tension, that is the glue of the relationship.

When she backs away, the man needs to back away. This creates a vacuum or a tension that she will need to relieve by drawing nearer. If she backs away and he pursues, the two are similar to like poles of a magnet. They repel. The man advances forward, and she is farther and farther repelled.

Always think in terms of this invisible force that exists between man and woman, and harness it for the benefit of the relationship. Think of it as maintaining a certain “cushion” of force that holds the relationship together.

She backs away, you back away and this invisible force will draw her closer. If you advance during that time, you will repel her. This is exactly the situation you keep on creating.

One thing that women subconsciously hate is certainty. Just the opposite of us men. When a woman thinks she has you hook, line and sinker, she starts to lose attraction. We need to keep that slight little sense of dread of loss alive. We do this by demonstrating that we could easily live without her, but we would prefer to live with her if she remains qualified.

By letting her know she has you completely, for her it’s like paying to see a movie where she already knows the ending. It’s boring, and what’s the point?

Maintain that distance or cushion of force between you and life (hence YOU), will be exciting to her.
Here we find an amazing gem of a post. Nice job Atom. To the OP never ever be physical with a female ever again. You’re not a man if you put your hands on a girl like that.
 
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This is a minor observation, and if I'm wrong by all means throw sh*t at me guys. But I also just noticed your name on the here is Ricboy. unless you are under 18 you are not ricboy you are Rick the man, you must see yourself as Rick the man, and realize that you are the prize, not this woman. Be her rock not her boy... Well for the next one anyway.
 

rjc149

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After this talk face to face, I have been in no contact for 2 days. Do I have a chance here? What should I do?
Right now, no, you have no chance. You likely never will from the sound of it. What you should do is remain in no contact. 6 months or a year later, she *may* reach out, and hopefully you would have undergone the necessary therapy and counseling to be able to control yourself. You've demonstrated severe weakness, the only way to salvage that is to be stronger. No contact.

My son is coming to visit me from a broad in 3 weeks and she said he could sleep over her place with her daughter for few nights. I'm guessing we are all four going for lunch at least.
Plan of action?
Plan of action is to *stay away from this woman* and do no propose any kind of activity with her whatsoever. The plans for your son to sleep over with her daughter are now cancelled. Do not use the children as pawns to get another opportunity to interact with her. You and her are now done forever unless *she* reaches out to *you.*
 

RicBoy

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She is my supervisor, she seems daily at work, 10 min a day or so when I come to the office to collect keys. She can easily take notice of any changes I will make in the future with professional help.

Also I didn't beg on my knees or anything like that. I called her nearly everyday for 10 days or so to try to get her back but nothing like please baby come back.

But yes she is mad and annoyed right now, she told me u attack me, disrespected me and my home, that is more then enough for me to end this.. Ofc during the relationship I'm sure I turned her off. I spent way too much time with her, I would call text often, she would complain every time I was with her I had my hand in her ass or tits, o was needy for sure.
 

Epic Days

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Help me to understand your point of view. I see that he wrote the following:

"I'm going through a break up, where I hit my ex girlfriend and went over her house to talk unannounced. I have been dumped from previous relationships for smothering my partners with presence, showing needy behaviors, overcrowding their space, over touching them, wanting to spend all my free time with them. I have strong sexual desire, make my relationships too much sex driven. When partners leave me, I tend to beg please and chase them. In other areas of my life, like job, I feel I'm still very irresponsible not mature enough. I'm selfish, I only care for me and for my needs, I don't seem to have interest in anyone or anything."
well besides the obvious needy stuff? Lol. The standard packaged western male?

“A month ago, she was going through a lot of stress, work, issues with her daughter, and also semi serious health issues where cancer could have been diagnosed. She wasn't feeling like having as much sex maybe only once or twice a week.”

A married man would kill for that much sex after the first year. LMAO

Women use sex as a major stress reliever (especially one night stands or a new guy), unless, it’s a husband or steady boyfriend. He spent too much time with her and squelched her desire. I’m surprised it went 7 months. Unbeknownst to him, he created a lot of that stress. He tried to help her with the issues (guaranteed), with the express intent to get sex. The first part is the killer. Sex is medically, the number one stress reliever for a woman, hands down. In Australia a major study was done and they found that a new romance, cures menopause and all lack of interest issues for all women, regardless of age. A new man is always a sound cure.

As a woman, she knows all these things. She became distant enough for him to go over the edge with “competition anxiety and mate guarding”.

This sets up a no-win situation for the guy. He jumped into the ice river, right on cue. She wanted to bounce but was weighing her investment of 7 months against her feelings and need to “feel alive again”, ie. “feel those good chemicals again”.

He measures his worth by how much desire a woman feels for him. He has been addicted to this validation for a long time. Yet he actually ran the desire into the ground and he uses the past tense to say that he always does this.

By him going off the rails, he nullified her clandestine activities and set himself up to have her shift all on him. He has been seriously gas-lighted in a few ways that he hasn’t even mentioned or is aware of. These are all standard tactics and any woman will use them to prevent telling the man that she isn’t feeling it anymore.

There’s more, but will leave it at that. He’s a wreck because he has to get sexual validation from a woman. He sounds like a married man right before he gives up on sex and starts the foot shuffle the rest of his days with the woman that no longer feels sexual desire for him.
 

RicBoy

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Things got worse when I started working at her company a month ago. We started to spend a lot of time together at home and at work. Then she started to cook me meals daily to take to work etc.. More stress... I think that's a reason she started to feel smothered.
I'm hoping I can fix my issues and spark her interest again. She sees me daily at work for a very short time maybe I can use that to my advantage?
 

mrgoodstuff

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Things got worse when I started working at her company a month ago. We started to spend a lot of time together at home and at work. Then she started to cook me meals daily to take to work etc.. More stress... I think that's a reason she started to feel smothered.
I'm hoping I can fix my issues and spark her interest again. She sees me daily at work for a very short time maybe I can use that to my advantage?
The only advantage is to use that time to NOT see her. Be somewhere else.
 

Epic Days

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Things got worse when I started working at her company a month ago. We started to spend a lot of time together at home and at work. Then she started to cook me meals daily to take to work etc.. More stress... I think that's a reason she started to feel smothered.
I'm hoping I can fix my issues and spark her interest again. She sees me daily at work for a very short time maybe I can use that to my advantage?
Feeling smothered equals low or no desire. When a woman is on fire for you, she will take all she can get. But it is short lived. You become an ex. She needs her excitement and you are done.
 

RicBoy

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Feeling smothered equals low or no desire. When a woman is on fire for you, she will take all she can get. But it is short lived. You become an ex. She needs her excitement and you are done.
Bro ur seeing things to black and white. I've gotten back exes before in worse situations.. This is not an equation that u add chasing and begging and low attraction and always gives the same result. Things can change and so does feelings. Not to say she will be back by any means.

I also think ur totally forgetting the fact I kicked her and pushed her in her house, she kicked me out saying no one has ever hit her before. It was not something small.
 

worldknown

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Feeling smothered equals low or no desire. When a woman is on fire for you, she will take all she can get. But it is short lived. You become an ex. She needs her excitement and you are done.
Epic this is a pretty vague blanket statement
 

mrgoodstuff

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Bro ur seeing things to black and white. I've gotten back exes before in worse situations.. This is not an equation that u add chasing and begging and low attraction and always gives the same result. Things can change and so does feelings. Not to say she will be back by any means.

I also think ur totally forgetting the fact I kicked her and pushed her in her house, she kicked me out saying no one has ever hit her before. It was not something small.
Did she hit you first?
 

Epic Days

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Bro ur seeing things to black and white. I've gotten back exes before in worse situations.. This is not an equation that u add chasing and begging and low attraction and always gives the same result. Things can change and so does feelings. Not to say she will be back by any means.

I also think ur totally forgetting the fact I kicked her and pushed her in her house, she kicked me out saying no one has ever hit her before. It was not something small.
you still have no clue why. Not only is it predictable but you will continue to keep doing it.
sure, when she’s done with the new dik or diks, you can get her back. So what. That’s not new.
you are utterly clueless about the level of normal level of manipulation you are subject to.

The proof is in your solution. Thrash her for not feeling desire any longer for you. I will not help you. You don’t deserve it.
Not because of this incident but because your fragile ego is repulsive to me.
 

Epic Days

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Epic this is a pretty vague blanket statement
It’s pretty straight forward if you understand what’s going on.

Desire = come fuk me some more
Smothered = I’m not feeling desire for you, stay away

Desire, long term, especially if you are living with them, cannot be sustained indefinitely. It’s biology. She has no control over it.

To feel happy and retaining the feeling of well being, a woman need only feel NEW desire for another man for a while.

There are plenty of studies that verify that having a secret affair for a woman can actually improve her marriage because her mind runs calmer and she can handle the day to day family life.
she just rations sex to her husband to keep him there.

This is pretty elementary stuff. It’s clear as a bell with experience.
 

RicBoy

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I know I have smothered her she even told me a few times.. We basically spent way too much time together, 5 to 6 days a week at her place. I don't have many friends or much of a life, and I tend to live my partners life and smother them..im sure this turned her off. Stating to work with her didn't help either, spending all the time together. And ofc the fight when I hit her, plus chasing a few days after didn't help.
 

worldknown

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It’s pretty straight forward if you understand what’s going on.

Desire = come fuk me some more
Smothered = I’m not feeling desire for you, stay away

Desire, long term, especially if you are living with them, cannot be sustained indefinitely. It’s biology. She has no control over it.

To feel happy and retaining the feeling of well being, a woman need only feel NEW desire for another man for a while.

There are plenty of studies that verify that having a secret affair for a woman can actually improve her marriage because her mind runs calmer and she can handle the day to day family life.
she just rations sex to her husband to keep him there.

This is pretty elementary stuff. It’s clear as a bell with experience.
Sorry bro there are millions of women out there that have no desire to see or cheat on their man. I’m not disagreeing that the act of seeing some new “strange” can improve someone’s wellbeing, regardless of gender- male or female, but to say that that in order to maintain desire in a long term relationship requires infidelity is just wrong.
 

RicBoy

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you still have no clue why. Not only is it predictable but you will continue to keep doing it.
sure, when she’s done with the new dik or diks, you can get her back. So what. That’s not new.
you are utterly clueless about the level of normal level of manipulation you are subject to.

The proof is in your solution. Thrash her for not feeling desire any longer for you. I will not help you. You don’t deserve it.
Not because of this incident but because your fragile ego is repulsive to me.
We were having sex often. I hit and made a problem because we didn't have sex for 5 days. I was drunk and she have had an endoscopy and was diagnosed what could be cancer. Actually every few months she needs to get that checked again. She was stressed and I acted like a virgin teenager. The relationship was going through a bad phase, but actually in the day of the fight, we had a nice dinner, cuddle in the sofa, movie, but she didn't feel like having sex for the 5th day and I was drunk and flipped. Actually during that day I have in my phone at least 5 or 6 msgs full of kisses from her.. I ****ed it up really
 

Epic Days

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Sorry bro there are millions of women out there that have no desire to see or cheat on their man. I’m not disagreeing that the act of seeing some new “strange” can improve someone’s wellbeing, regardless of gender- male or female, but to say that that in order to maintain desire in a long term relationship requires infidelity is just wrong.
Then you’re all set. See how easy that was?
 

Epic Days

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We were having sex often. I hit and made a problem because we didn't have sex for 5 days. I was drunk and she have had an endoscopy and was diagnosed what could be cancer. Actually every few months she needs to get that checked again. She was stressed and I acted like a virgin teenager. The relationship was going through a bad phase, but actually in the day of the fight, we had a nice dinner, cuddle in the sofa, movie, but she didn't feel like having sex for the 5th day and I was drunk and flipped. Actually during that day I have in my phone at least 5 or 6 msgs full of kisses from her.. I ****ed it up really
There is so much there that I don’t have the words. Do you have a reset button? Someway to wipe your drive clean and start over?

Let’s try this...how about you don’t have an opinion for a while and just reflect on how much damage you’ve done over time (not this woman), because you’re so insecure.
 

mrgoodstuff

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It’s pretty straight forward if you understand what’s going on.

Desire = come fuk me some more
Smothered = I’m not feeling desire for you, stay away

Desire, long term, especially if you are living with them, cannot be sustained indefinitely. It’s biology. She has no control over it.

To feel happy and retaining the feeling of well being, a woman need only feel NEW desire for another man for a while.

There are plenty of studies that verify that having a secret affair for a woman can actually improve her marriage because her mind runs calmer and she can handle the day to day family life.
she just rations sex to her husband to keep him there.

This is pretty elementary stuff. It’s clear as a bell with experience.
Epic. It CAN be maintained, but you cannot lay up under them all the time. When they are complaining about you going hunting and fishing all the time and your always gone, she will long for you. That can be maintained for a very long time.
 
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