She keeps referring to me as a friend. HALP!

[jakeyboy]

hey dudes, got a quick question.

HB 8 who's also got her game on. C&F-ing me indirectly. she probably doesn't know she's doing it. she flirts with me and yet she refers to me as a friend.

and in 11 days, it will be her 3rd year anniversary with her boyfriend.

my god. she did tell me that he has a horrid temper though and if it was still like that she'd have to end it soon.

GAH. not quite sure what's my next move gonna be. never really tried anything with a taken girl.

watcha guys reckon?

advice, comments, criticisms welcome!

thanks in advance mates.

cheers.

 

[Jariel]

If she's in a relationship she has no other option than to call you a friend. You didn't give much info about how much time you spend with her and what you get upto during that time so it's hard to give much specific advice.

If she's talking negatively about her boyfriend and suggesting she might end it, she's probably fishing for a reaction from you, to see if you would be a willing option. I'm quite experienced in this so it's a pattern I recognise.

What I have done in these situations is subtly let her know I'd not date a girl with a boyfriend. If she tells you soon after that she's ended it with him (probably a lie btw), she's all yours.

However, be very careful picking up women from long term relationships. They get into these things on a whim and still have a lot of emotional ties they weren't prepared for. Give it time, play it VERY cool and be prepared for her to want her ex back at some point.

 

[OfficeSpace]

A lot of women like to have a man in "reserve" if they're gonna break up with their current boyfriend.. If this is not the case, then you ARE stuck in the friend zone.

 

[jakeyboy]

thanks for the feedback guys. i don't know what the heck she's doing. but yeah, subtly letting her know i'm not gonna date a girl with a bf? how should i go about doing that? a little more background, we're currently in the same lecture as well as tutorial group. so been talking to her pretty often.

and i asked her out for lunch on wed. she readily agreed. then later told me she had forgotten she was spposed to go out with her BF. like wtf.

she counter offered monday, and i said i was busy. which i am. so i said forget it. haha. and she went "i'm sure there''ll be a day when we're both free then we can hang out"

so she seems to want to go out with me, and still flirts with me all the same. but is still commited to her bf.

it's a tad mind boggling.

i'll play it cool for awhile, but if it's still stagnant after a week or two, then NEXXXXXXT!

watcha guys think? thanks in adv!

 

[ProtoMan1]

Dude, she has a boyfriend. NEXT. not for awhile, or if it's still stagnant after a week or two. Next NOW.

 

[Jariel]

I think she likes you and you may have a chance, but it's risky and might lead to nothing. The way I suggest girls drop their boyfriend is by bringing up the topic of relationships and exs. I'd talk about my ex having a boyfriend when I met her and that I refused to get involved until she left him. I then say that I refuse to date girls with boyfriends generally. You can let women know a lot by speaking hypothetically.

Your situation reminds me of when I met my current girlfriend. I spent about 2-3 months as her friend, hanging out regularly and getting to know each other before anything happened, but all that time she was falling deeper for me. Have patience, hang out with her as a friend, flirt with her and see if something develops.

 

[KillaCam]

Unfortunately, some guys tend to see what they want to see, and not what is really going on.

Her flirting doesn't necessarily signal intent. Her willingness to go to lunch with you might just be to catch up. Her referral to you as just a friend could mean just that, you're nothing but a friend.

The more you analyse it, the deeper you're going to dig yourself into the AFC-hole. Even if she does break up with her boyfriend and move on to you, you're stuck with an emotional and feeble girl who will still be connected with her past.

Save yourself time and energy, next her. If you two are going to work out, it'll happen without you being a chaser.

 

[flexion_]

Its sounds to me like you are her GF. Afterall she has a BF of 3 years - what else do you think you would be to her?

Sorry but women that like you don't ***** about other men in their lives.

 

[Docs]

Run to her boyfriend with a staple gun and start shooting at him. That'll show her you got balls enough to take our her boyfriend in absolute love for her.

"It" wins everytime!

 

[jakeyboy]

well, all that's it for now, i'm not gonna be attached to the outcome. simply gonna play it cool, like i normally would with any other girl. see how it flows. i'm not expecting anything though. if it happens, it happens, if it doesnt, then that's aiight, i wasn't expecting anything in the first place.