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She just got out of r a 3 year relationship what should I do.....

msustud

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I have known a girl that just got out of a 3 year relationship a few weeks before I met her(Elaine). We always have fun together for the last 6 weeks and she always wants me to call her. Everytime I see her she is always around me. I do know for a fact that she does like me quite a bit, but as her best friend has stated that Elaine wants only to be friends with all guys, cause she isnt ready for a serious relationship. Her friend also said that I should definately be her friend. What the heck does that mean.????? I know for a fact tha her and I are good friends at the moment. Since I know now what is going on with her I figure to just stay good friends with her keep it cool and see how it goes but move on and not worry about her and pick up other chicks. The problem with that is when I see her she is always around me so if i do anythign with her for example if we went to party she will want to be around me( not that I am complaining), but I need to find a way to get her away so I can enjoy myself. What should I do in this situation.
 

trajhenkhet

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instead of asking what you should do I think a more appropriate question you should ask yourself is what you want to do...
 

msustud

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what I want to do is be in a relationship with her but the more i think about it the more i am thinking to not associate with her anymore.
 

TesuqueRed

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Just out of a 3 yr relationship? If it was heavy or difficult, it's a little to early to call it over. Think: REBOUND! You may catch her for a short affair--have fun, just don't expect it to last.

You want her for a LTR? Become scarce. Then make the times you are with her full of action and fun. Then get scarce.

I think it's way too early for that to be possible, but I'm not standing there seeing the situation. Maybe she got tired of ex-BF long ago and finally figured out how to end it as is ready for you. But if she's always hanging around you, I'd be wondering about unresolved issues she may have and about her possible dependcy tendencies.

But if you're all really just friends, you should have no problem hitting on other girls and getting numbers in front of her. You're friends, right? Do what you want. It may force her to come and get you if she wants you---!

But if you can't, then you're inhibited by something unstated---"I can't do that because I may blow chances with X and she may get upset...."---which means you get nothing but a lot of what-ifs passing by you. Don't do that to yourself.
 

msustud

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Thanks for the post especially the last one. That about hit the spot. The thing is when I go to parties with her and when she is all over me I dont know why but I enjoy it to much to go pick up other girls. I do agree though we are good friends and if she tries to pull this off I am going to just enjoy myself and meet other ladies out there. I mean for her friend to tell me that all she wants from guys is to be friends and to tell me that i should DEFINATELY be friends with her, must have some meaning, and everything was going really well until I got sick and had finals. Now she has finals, so I am going to play it like you said scarce. She will eitehr call me if she is interested otherwise she isnt. I think that I am just going to move on but I will wait and see what happens. Any one else have any more information or maybe you have gone through this before and what was the result.
 

trevjr

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Careful, I have a female friend who I have known for about 9 years now. She invites me to parties and I think I am going to meet some hot women but, my friend hangs all over me and shoves her butt into my crotch and I think I am going to get some(I wouldn't mind) and then she leaves me hanging.
I think she uses me as a shield so other guys won't hit on her! she hangs on you at parties so other guys won't approach her and you can't get any play cuz the other girls think she is your girlfriend.
Don't listen to her friends. Decide what you want and do it.
 

drZaius09

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Originally posted by TesuqueRed
"I can't do that because I may blow chances with X and she may get upset...."
Wow, T-Red, I remember when that used to be the prevailing thought in my head back in my AFC days. I can't even imagine how many oppurtunities I wasted because of that EXACT same attitude. What a shame... But I hope msustud can learn something from this, because he looks to be headed down that same dark alley.
 

msustud

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Alright i came to the conclusion taht she was an actual b!tch thats just to bad and when I showed the convo I had with her friend to all of my friends they all thought the same. MOVE ON, so I am doing exactly that and thanks for all of the info everyone I appreciate it. Of course I could be wrong but thats the path I am taking...........
 
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