"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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She is trying to lose me the easy way

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mahon83050

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I went out with this chick on a first date (friend of my cousins) and we are going out again this Friday. However, she is bringing my cousin and her fiancee. I figured, ok cool it can be a double date. The town I am meeting her in is halfway between both our towns ( she lives about 1 hour 15 minutes from me) so I am meeting her there and then she throws this in:

Her: Are you bringing any friends?

Me: Why, do you want me to?

Her: Well, you are going to be waiting there all alone and I would not like that. My friends usually all tag along, so don't be surprised If I am have a whole group with me.

I felt like saying, I thought this was like a double date, but I did not have the balls and did not say anything.


Sounds to me, her IL is not that high.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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mahon83050

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Originally posted by Shiftkey
Tried asking your cousin what's up?
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My cousin is a 22 year old chick and I am not that close with her. This would be the first time I would be hanging out with her when it is not a family function. IMO, this chick is trying to blow me off in a nice way. My Aunt and Uncle know her well, so she does not want to look like a *****.
 
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Trapspringer

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It ain't hard to tell that she has no desire to be alone with you. Trust me.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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PuertoRican_Lover

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1 hour 15 min drive to go out with a group of strangers??

I can see a chaparone (cousin) but a whole flock???? Tell her you wish to make this more of an intimate date that requires only her presence - and you wouldn't mind double-dating but you won't feel comfortablle around a lot of strangers! Maybe some other time. Then wait for her to call you.
 
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DJnomore

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Always look on the bright side of life....

OK so we pretty sure she isn't into you.

But this is a perfect test of how DJ you are.

1) What are you doing for the date? Is it something you like doing?

2) Are you OK with the prospect of going out with her and not getting anything sexual/romantic out of it? IE don't give a f__k

3) Are you willing to roll with the punches and change tactics based on if she brings any HBs with her?

Answers:
1a)Something fun, Yes
2a) Yes
3a) Yes

If you did your ground work you are gonna have a great time regardless of her, and if you respect her you will have a new female friend who can really help your game and possibly introduce you to her hot friends...

But on the negative side if you call her and "change the deal" you have family problems via cousin etc. DJ isn't about winning every single hand, getting laid on every single date etc. Its about doing well enough to keep you happy and get you some quality friends/girlfriends to share that happiness with.
 
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Befuddled

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Dont let it get you down.

Just out out have a good time, and dont look back. if there's no karma, forget about it(italian/NYC accent). hehe

Just go out have a good time, and figure what to do from there. In the past when girls bring ppl along (especially close friends)... it's usually for an evaluation session. They will be judging you... thats why she braught them along.

Personally , i dont like chicks who do his cause it seems like they are drama queens and incapapble of making their own decesions.

Cheers.
 
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Pimp-sicle

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Originally posted by mahon83050
I told my sister the situation (she is 29) and she does not think it is a sign of disinterest...she says it can be many other things.
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There's your problem!! You asked your sister for advice...LOL Chicks will never tell you what's going on underneath it all. This chick is OBIVIOUSLY not interested in you romantically, but like you said she feels bad because of your family connection.

If it was me, I wouldn't even go on the date because its a freakin' hour and 15 minute drive!!!! You must have other prospects right?? Well if you don't then I'd go out and try to meet new girls, use this chick as a anchor for picking up other girls. Trust me bro, she is blowing you off in a nice way, so don't waste your time. Part of learning how to be a true DJ is knowing when to cut your losses.



PIMP
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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mahon83050

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Well, you guys are probably right and I am not that upset. The chick is 22 and only seems interested in going to bars and drinking (not my style). I am more upset because sometimes I feel hopeless. I think I have alot going for me and I think I am a fairly good catch. However, the last three 1st dates I have had, I ended up being blown off after that. Maybe I seem boring to her because I am more into culture, history and don't drink much.

BTW, the place I am supposed to meet her is 45 minutes away, not 1 hour 15 minutes. I am supposed to e-mail her with directions. Should I just be a **** and not e-mail her anything and wait till she calls me for the directions again. How about blowing her off and not showing up...haha.
 
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OddTech

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Mahon, I have a question. Are you sure you are going after the right girls? No offense, but what does a bar bimbo has to offer to you? Even if the dating get off, you might not be able to stand her. Since you are so culture, have you consider girls that share your interest in arts?

What I'm trying to say is, not all girls are "worth dating." Keep your head high, you deserve better.

About the date, you can still go with the premise of having fun. But if you can't take that and think you'll be stewed by your misery, then just tell her that you expect something more intimate. But since that is not what you want, you decide to politely decline. Good luck man, I'm rooting for you.
 
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mahon83050

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Originally posted by OddTech
Mahon, I have a question. Are you sure you are going after the right girls? No offense, but what does a bar bimbo has to offer to you? Even if the dating get off, you might not be able to stand her. Since you are so culture, have you consider girls that share your interest in arts?

What I'm trying to say is, not all girls are "worth dating." Keep your head high, you deserve better.

About the date, you can still go with the premise of having fun. But if you can't take that and think you'll be stewed by your misery, then just tell her that you expect something more intimate. But since that is not what you want, you decide to politely decline. Good luck man, I'm rooting for you.
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You know what you are right. I sound so insecure when I write these posts sometimes. BTW, i noticed you are from Boston. I like it up there and I think I would fit in well (I have ginzo and mick beackground). The cold is the only thing that would keep from there. Tell me, how is it living in Baastan?
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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