She is thinking about her past

[vivek59234]

Hi guys,

I would really need your advise on this one... Recently I have met a gal... she is pretty honest and hot...

She is one of my friend's friend... She has been in my mind from a long time and even she has been respecting a lot 2 me...

This is kinda serious relation we are talking about... we are together and we had decided that lets start with friends and than we will go along with a serious relationship...

She started loving me and she was getting very very close... now she had a bf with whom she had a break up recently... He was very possessive about her nd he used to emotionally blackmail her by cutting his hand and showing that he is very upset, he'll hurt himself if she wont talk to him and blah blah blah wat d f***...

Everything goes well she broke up wid him nd she was very loyal with me...
Suddenly she gets a msg from her friend and she goes upset because her friend might have met that guy and that guy might have emotionally trapped her to convience my gf...

last night we had a horrible discussion about this and my gf goes like... She can't forget her past and she feels that guy will spoil himself because of my gf... So my gf is emotionally blackmailed... And she said she needs sometime to be in a relation with me... She definitely wants 2 be with me but she is not able to give me a pure love and she aint able to concentrate on me that much because everytime she's with me... she thinks about her past...

She said I'll be with you only but lets just spend time together and lets just be friends for sometime and than i'll be your's because she needs more time to come outta him and she doesnt want him anymore...

I am confused now... what should I do?? and how would I behave with her??

Could you please advise me on this...

 

[vivek59234]

Plz help me out guys... I'm really confused...

 

[SandHawk]

I'm going to give you an advice that you won't like, but that every person on this board will agree too. And that is: Dump her!

Yea, that sounds sh*t isn't it? First of all, these boards aren't you standard "Oh my, I have love issues, how to fix?". These boards focus on getting girls by the truckload, dip your manhood in them and repeat. We don't focus on 1 single girl, most of us usually have more than 1 girl we're working on, and at times multiple girls we have sex with.

Now, back your problem: You have a girl who's divided up by 2 guys, one that emotionally blackmails her and the other one that really wants her. And then she proceeds to tell you she can't be in a relationship because she needs time, blah blah <insert random nonsense here>. Prepare for major drama here. Because there are 3 chances here:
1) [Most plausible] She'll find some other dude to fall in love with and goes with him
2) She goes back to her ex-bf
3) [Least plausible] She gets together with you

She got you wrapped around her finger, and she can do with you whatever and whenever she wants. Girls usually loose interest after a while or when this happens. Secondly, do you even want to be with a girl who's so easily manipulated into doing things? I remember how I used to run over my ex-gf unknowingly, and all I got was a sh*tty LTR. Thirdly, do you want to be with a girl that falls for a guy so quickly and then dumps her old boyfriend? Chances are, she will do the same to you too. It's more like wondering when, and not IF it will happen.

But there is hope. Go read the DJ Bible(link in the left corner) and the book of pook, and start seeing other girls. Go dip your manhood in those girls, and when time passes, and the amount of girls you've dipped, you'll find some other girl who's worth have a LTR with, not some dramaqueen like you got now.

EDIT: One thing: Learn to write some proper English. My eyes hurt when reading your post, and I'm not a native English speaker. Write some proper English, and your post will be much easier to read and more people will actually read all the way through and reply.

 

[vivek59234]

Got ya buddy... but wat if she calls me?? wat if she wants 2 meet me?? she just called me up and said we will meet soon and don worry everything will be fine...

Ok let's do this... Shall I cut off all the contacts?? And what if she calls me and texts me?? How should I behave with her??

 

[kingsam]

She got you wrapped around her finger, and she can do with you whatever and whenever she wants. Girls usually loose interest after a while or when this happens. Secondly, do you even want to be with a girl who's so easily manipulated into doing things? I remember how I used to run over my ex-gf unknowingly, and all I got was a sh*tty LTR. Thirdly, do you want to be with a girl that falls for a guy so quickly and then dumps her old boyfriend? Chances are, she will do the same to you too. It's more like wondering when, and not IF it will happen.

vivek do you really want to be the kind of guy who gets USED by mental women??
and you WILL get cheated on by her

EDIT: One thing: Learn to write some proper English. My eyes hurt when reading your post, and I'm not a native English speaker. Write some proper English, and your post will be much easier to read and more people will actually read all the way through and reply.

dont give me that! all dutch people can speak perfect english better than most english speakers!
(the OP's post was badly written (grammer))

 

[vivek59234]

alright thanks guys... I know how to handle her now...

 

[SandHawk]

Exactly how are you going to handle this? Share with us what you're going to do and why you think that is right. It gives an insight into you motives, which could be wrong .

 

[vivek59234]

orite!!!

This is interesting... She called me up last night but I didn't answer...

She text me in the morning saying "Gd morning honey", I only replied after 2 hours...

She called me again later on but I didnt answer it...

She called me again after 2 hours and then I was like wat d f***... I'm sleeping... And she said "call me when you are free"... I hung up...

It's fun... wat should I do now??

 

[Jariel]

Keep doing it.

She needs to realise that you are not her lapdog and you will not be her back up plan or there to boost her ego when she's feeling insecure. In fact, by withdrawing your attention and letting her see that she might lose you for good, you will increase your value (and your own self-esteem).

You should definitely be thinking of other women right now too and let her know it. If she wants to be friends, then treat her as a friend, start asking her advice about a girl you like. It will drive her mad.

Just remember, this is not some short term game. Don't make the mistake of thinking "I have her now, time to be honest about my feelings". This has to be an ongoing attitude adjustment.

 

[vivek59234]

Thanks a lot Jariel...

Loved it... She's been calling me entire day and I'm not available for her... Had a word with her in noon and I was like I am busy with a girl...

She said "ok call me when you are free"...

 

[SandHawk]

I am getting the idea you're sort of doing this to get back at her. And those are the wrong motives here. None of this is there to hurt people or to manipulate them into loving you. It's more of a lifestyle change that makes men desirable.

Radiating out "I don't give a f*ck" is very attractive to people around you. Not just girls, but also for men(in a way of becoming friends that is, not to get jiggy with them), as it makes you appear laid back and someone nice to be around. And that's why you should be like this, don't loose your passions in life, just be busy with other things. Don't focus solely on a girl until you agree to become exclusive.

A lot of the behavior preached in the DJ Bible aren't there to get back at people, but to make you appear as a laid back and fun person. Do it because of that, not because it allows you to play with people's feelings.

 

[Jay Dee]

Thanks a lot Jariel...

Loved it... She's been calling me entire day and I'm not available for her... Had a word with her in noon and I was like I am busy with a girl...

She said "ok call me when you are free"...

The bit highlighted... never say that, use 'with a friend' or just 'I'm busy' and let her mind do the work of wondering who with.

Also when she offers to meet, then accept, get her back to yours and make sure you do her so good that night she doesn't forget you.

 

[sodbuster]

Just keep her worrying about the chance of losing you until she commits to a relationship,while you are IN a relationship,while you are MARRIED, All the time. Once a woman thinks she owns you and you have no options-she takes you for granted and will dump you.
Don't say "she's into me" , "i'm hanging with a girl",anything.Let your actions speak instead of words. Let her figure out that she can lose you if she doesn't treat you right. If she doesn't figure it out,let her lose you.
Which guy is cooler: the guy who SAYS come over to my MANSION to party or the guy who says come over to my house and you find out it's a mansion on a 20 acre lot? The second right. He's not trying to impress you with his money,it's just part of who he is. Women hanging around you all the time is much cooler if you don't have to say it.

 

[vivek59234]

Guys...

Awesome... Interesting... She's been calling me whole day and sent me texts saying "honey what are you doing"... but I never replied back...

Only sent a text very late night "Hi wat are you doing"... but she didn't reply...
Might have slept... oh well!! who cares???


Well as SandHawk said, I am little worried about the things in life... Yes I agree with you that I am a kinda person who is always been helping a lot... I don't have that f**k off kinda attitude and moreover people do disrespect me because of that... Even my closest friends act wierd sometimes...

I have been always left alone by people around... Just because of my very low and down to earth attitude... I am very emotional from inside and I always show my emotional feelings...

I really need to get rid off these stuffs... Just because of this I have lost a lot in life....

But how to do tha? how?? because I am not able to focuse at all...