She invited me in and was dtf but then.....

[shizz702]

Ok so went out with one of my plates last night. 3rd time we've been out, had some good make out seshes up to this point, and the sexual tension is definitely building.

Prior to this point also we had met up at spots, but this time I picked her up from her spot. So when I took her back home we started making out and things got hot.

So she gave me the invite with that knowing look.

As soon as we entered we were full on getting it going, and I admit I was kind of rough with her, cause that is just my style and in my experience most of them want/like that, and right when I went down for her and was gonna start fingering her she got a little hesistant and was like wait, let's slow it down a bit.

So I didn't want to be that guy to make a big deal out of it, and I'm not one to force these things. Then we got to hooking up some more and she again mentioned wanting to slow it down and that we were kind of moving too fast.

And then, here's the kicker she confided in me and was really emotional like and said that she just doesn't want us to move too fast and to see it get f<cked up cause she really likes me. So I left it at that, hooked up with a bit more and laid with her some and she was seemingly appreciative and thanked me for staying.

It's also worth noting she paid for the outing that night, and was blowing me up with texts this morning asking how I was and to have a good day, etc.

Anyways, fellas what do you think the deal is here? Maybe she just got a little scared? Possible sh!t test? I ain't really tripping. Aside from this her actions show high interest otherwise, and things seemed to be left on good terms for her to be dtf very soon, if not the next time.

Any advice on how to proceed? Leave this alone and not bring it up, act non chalant etc.? Do you think I handled this well? Like I said I'm not one to force things, and nor do I beg for puzzy either.

 

[Mike32ct]

She really likes you and wants you to be her boyfriend. She doesn't know she's just a "plate" or FWB.

 

[Aaron B]

Yeah I agree

The thing is to communicate to her she needs to give you sex closer to date three than date ten, or she risks losing you.

 

[Mike32ct]

The thing is to communicate to her she needs to give you sex closer to date three than date ten, or she risks losing you.

Makes sense. How you do you usually go about that, i.e. how to tell a girl that?

Thanks.

 

[st_99]

hard to say really, you're next 'meet up/date' will probably say a lot.

if she goes sexually cold, forget it because you're now in the 'wait for it' category and thats just bullsh!t.

 

[window]

"So I didn't want to be that guy to make a big deal out of it, and I'm not one to force these things."

= passed test with flying colours

take it slow...no rush

 

[shizz702]

"So I didn't want to be that guy to make a big deal out of it, and I'm not one to force these things."

= passed test with flying colours

take it slow...no rush

In the grand scheme what else could I really do? Making a big issue out of it would have just shown impatience and insecurity imo anyway. Like I said though she seemed really relieved and happy about it.

"Yeah I agree

The thing is to communicate to her she needs to give you sex closer to date three than date ten, or she risks losing you."


Yea this is certainly an issue. And I was thinking to myself how long we talking here lol! Another date or 2 ain't nothing but I ain't gonna be with that BS lol! As of now she wants me to come over soon to watch some movies, and cook me dinner so we'll see where it goes from there.


"hard to say really, you're next 'meet up/date' will probably say a lot.

if she goes sexually cold, forget it because you're now in the 'wait for it' category and thats just bullsh!t."


Absolutely, my sentiments exactly. I don't mind a reasonable wait (getting good sex from another plate right now anyway) but I hate when they want the moment to be all perfect and stuff and fear this may turn into that, thus not happening at all or being forced and awkward now that it was put on the back burner.

What are some signs you'd look for on the next date?

 

[scien-ITA]

I would just give a bit of time and spin other plates to prevent oneitis. Unless you want a relationship which is entirely a different situation.

 

[Aaron B]

Makes sense. How you do you usually go about that, i.e. how to tell a girl that?

Thanks.

the direct approach has worked well for me, as it is congruent with my personality

 

[shizz702]

Update.

She invited me over yesterday, she ordered a pizza and I brought a case of beer.

Cuddled up for a movie, afteward got to hooking up and we did the do!

Guess it was worth a few days wait. She told me her little wait thing was basically a **** test and if I would've made a big deal of it, it would have broken the deal.

:rock:

 

[runner83]

Well played mate.

Just goes to show that indifference should always be your default behaviour.

Get overly emotional and you would have blown it.

 

[st_99]

She told me her little wait thing was basically a **** test and if I would've made a big deal of it, it would have broken the deal.

she actually said that?? thats kind of weird. I have to wonder if she's framing the relationship early on.. just a thought.

 

[Atom Smasher]

It is my humble opinion that girls shouldn't consciously know about sh!t tests and when they do it is because too many little birdies are chirping these things into their awareness. The negative ramifications are many when this occurs.

 

[shizz702]

Well played mate.

Just goes to show that indifference should always be your default behaviour.

Get overly emotional and you would have blown it.

Thanks brotha.

Never beg for the p<ssy.

"she actually said that?? thats kind of weird. I have to wonder if she's framing the relationship early on.. just a thought."

She didn't outright say it like that. Post sex we got to pillow talking and the previous meeting got brought up and she acknowledged she was glad we waited, that our first sex sesh was good, and insinuated that if I would have made a big deal over not getting it the last time it wouldn't have been a good thing.

Agreed, she is definitely pushing for a relationship hard with me. I'm kinda just along for the ride. I like her and she is of good quality (has a house, good career, independent, etc.) but it is was too early on to tell if she is worthy of the prize.

"It is my humble opinion that girls shouldn't consciously know about sh!t tests and when they do it is because too many little birdies are chirping these things into their awareness. The negative ramifications are many when this occurs."

Interesting observation here. I think I catch what you are throwing. Can you expand on this as I'd like to hear your opinion on it.

 

[the_stig]

Thanks brotha.

Never beg for the p<ssy.

"she actually said that?? thats kind of weird. I have to wonder if she's framing the relationship early on.. just a thought."

She didn't outright say it like that. Post sex we got to pillow talking and the previous meeting got brought up and she acknowledged she was glad we waited, that our first sex sesh was good, and insinuated that if I would have made a big deal over not getting it the last time it wouldn't have been a good thing.

Agreed, she is definitely pushing for a relationship hard with me. I'm kinda just along for the ride. I like her and she is of good quality (has a house, good career, independent, etc.) but it is was too early on to tell if she is worthy of the prize.

"It is my humble opinion that girls shouldn't consciously know about sh!t tests and when they do it is because too many little birdies are chirping these things into their awareness. The negative ramifications are many when this occurs."

Interesting observation here. I think I catch what you are throwing. Can you expand on this as I'd like to hear your opinion on it.

He means she's already using sex as a power grab and is likely fluent with all the female control tactics. The female version of us, so to speak. Proceed with caution, rough roads ahead.

 

[Zarky]

Never "make a big deal out of it" but IMHO you waited too long for this one. If she's not boning down by at most the 2nd date you should really withdraw. Back when I was richer and rolling in women in the summer of '08 I had a rule that I would never go out with a chick a third time if we didn't bone by the 2nd date. Chicks could somehow sense this and I was getting 100% lay rate by the second date. Well not 100%, two chicks didn't bone me on the second date and I never called them back. Both waited 3-4 weeks and then invited me on a date letting me know they would be getting naked. I went on both dates and they made good on their word.

So yes you should never get upset if a chick refuses to sleep with you on your time-table but you should ALWAYS become more distant. Never reward them for holding out on you.

OP gets a 6/10 for this one. He should be a little more ruthless with the ladies. There's a fine line between player and cuddle-b*tch. If women aren't feeling a little rushed into sex, you're not doing it right.

 

[shizz702]

Ok fellas will proceed with caution with this one then.

I ain't into the sex/power games, like I said just along for the ride and am gonna keep spinning them other plates.