"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

She initiates but?

M

Maximummax

Senior Don Juan
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Need a prespective on this folks.
I met this chick at a party, it was business related for company
This is how it has began: i was working with this girl who works XX company, i haven't seen her but talked to her on the phone couple of times, i did normal talk on the phone with her couple of time before i moved to the her city. this new company invited to a small party they arrainged, i went and i met the same girl, bunch of people came in. WE talked for a while and she tells me we should go to lunch next week, i said ok and i am open to come. I suggested her to schedule. the next week i didn't get a call from her, for some other reason i had to call the company for other matter, the person i am trying to reach wasn't available but this girl picks the phone and talks and after i finish the conversation about the topic i called, i was about to say bye and hang up the phone, she mentions again that we should go to lunch i said ok and she tells me i am free from mon-thu only, i picked the later date so that i don't look needy.

Would like to know from you guys what did i do wrong and where?
I acted like an AFC when i gave the power to her and suggested her to schedule it. Do this girl is playing games, SHould i cancel the lunch. What you guys think.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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M

Mantis Toboggan

Master Don Juan
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Maximummax said:
Would like to know from you guys what did i do wrong and where?
I acted like an AFC when i gave the power to her and suggested her to schedule it. Do this girl is playing games, SHould i cancel the lunch. What you guys think.
Click to expand...
Why would you cancel the lunch?

You're a grown man. Don't play games for the sake of playing games.

Your mistake was leaving her in charge of setting the first lunch date. You just corrected that mistake by setting a new lunch date for a specific day. Now you're asking if you should cancel it....for what purpose? To not appear desperate? Calm down.

The reason you don't want to leave women in charge of planning dates is because they are flaky by nature. Perhaps SHE was too scared to call you again to set the date. Maybe SHE was worried about seeming desperate. Or hey, maybe she just wanted the man (That's you) to lead.

Either way, you'll find out if she's interested if she shows up to this new date. That will give you the answer.
 
M

Maximummax

Senior Don Juan
Joined
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Location
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I am sure she is going to show up
she mentioned that she will be driving to a place near by where i work.

Now buddies here is something i would like to know
where to escalte from here, reach a hook point so we can meet next time?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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F

floydb25

Master Don Juan
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You need to lead and be more assertive. She's going to be turned off by your passive behavior eventually. It's good that she helped you, but you must take charge from here. She's not going to initiate and set up everything. You have to escalate and make decisions. Don't try to reverse gender roles... It doesn't work.

There's nothing you really need to do otherwise. Why would you cancel a date out of fear? Stop stressing this so much.
 
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