She hasn't spoken to me in a week

[Porky]

One of my best friends found me during our fourth period the week before break, told me we needed to talk, and then dragged me out into the hallway. She starts yelling at me right away.

Here's some backstory: she and another girl gave me a couple of hickeys at a party a few weeks ago. I believe that the best way to stop rumors from spreading is to keep information secret. Therefore, I don't discuss my personal or sex life with anybody. Unfortunately, people heard about who gave me the hickeys and began to assume that she and I were hooking up - I had nothing to do with this. If people asked me to talk about it, I would say I didn't want to and change the subject.

Every couple of weeks I come into school with battle scars like this. People ask me what/who I did, and I never spread the word. Sometimes a week or two after it happens I'll then tell my close friends, but I don't really like to be the guy that everybody talks about.

Well, she and I are in this little side hallway and she's screaming and cursing at me. She then accuses me of trying to give people the impression that I'm hooking up with her and all of her friends, and I didn't talk about the harmless and platonic hickeys because I wanted people to think they were sexual. I respond with instances where I hooked up with her friends, or went on dates with them, and didn't tell a soul.

Eventually I get her to shut up. She says "well, I see now that you didn't do anything wrong, but you can understand how I would yell at you right?" I was speechless - this girl has assumed things about me, talked about me behind my back, cursed at me and generally disrespected me and I don't get an apology? I just kind of shake my head in disbelief, say nothing, and go back into class. I'm not mad, just...shocked.

She then grabs me, and yells, "GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU! I CAN'T DEAL WITH YOU WHEN YOU GET OUT OF CONTROL LIKE THIS!!!!" and storms off. Keep in mind I stayed calm throughout the ordeal. We haven't talked since. This girl has always been dependant on me - the power has never shifted in our relationship. I'm content to leave it the way it is and wait for her to approach me, but I'm wondering if I should just talk to her about it and see what the problem is. I do care about her. I'm disinclined to approach her, but I have to admit that this has never happened to me.

Thanks,
Porky

 

[M2k961]

Thanks for telling us.. I don't remember reading a question for us in there..

PS: If she's your best friend, talk to her. If you don't want to, chalk it up to high school bullsh!t and drama and wait for her to come around.

 

[Porky]

I'm content to leave it the way it is and wait for her to approach me, but I'm wondering if I should just talk to her about it and see what the problem is.

Oh yeah, I'm really not asking for any advice there.

She isn't my best friend. She's a good friend of mine.

 

[Salacious D]

"Stir the water to catch fish."

On purpose, or accidentally, that's what you've done. Now you've seen this girl for who she really is.

Ask yourself, then, if you want her back as a friend. If she doesn't come back as your friend, won't she exert a negative influence, slandering you whenever she gets the chance, that sort of thing? If you don't want her back, keep this in mind: When destroying an enemy, destroy [her] absolutely. You have to get at her credibility, which means telling the truth when people ask you about her. If you don't want her back, you have to ensure that if she slanders you, no one will listen. Through whatever means, including, breaking your secrecy, for the moment anyway.

That's not the way I would go, however. If I were you, based on the information you've provided, I'd take her back as a friend in an honorable way (wouldn't be a sycophant...gotta love the SAT). No apologizing, no bootlicking, just get her back, whether you like her or not. Whether you want her as a friend or not, you have to keep her from slandering you, and the easiest way to do that would be for her to be your friend. For her to like you. You've obviously succeeded with this before, she gave you a goddamn hicky, so it probably won't be a problem for you to get her back.

Oh, one more thing, regardless of whether or not you take my advice, you've got to post what happens to you on this thread. No one ever does and it pisses me off. There's never an epilogue--just an introduction.

 

[Porky]

Finally, somebody who makes a worthwhile post.

Thanks S.

 

[LikRetsam]

Girls are funny. I'm in sort the same dilemna. But same as you bro, the chick is relatively dear to me but she just picked a battle I wasn't interrested in fighting in. You gotta keep all DJism out of friendships btw. There is no **** her, NEXT!

That said, it's obvious that there is something else behind her head. Something else that bothers her. You're attitude just shows off that you don't care, even though you do. You just don't see why you should get mad over this. She doesn't understand that and won't for many months to come. You know you want your friend back. She's not perfect, she trips some times and she just did, but so do you, so do I. You gotta overlook these things if they happen once. I'd go approach your friend and explain clearly why you pulled the image of not caring when you were really just not interrested in fighting and didn't see where she was coming from. I'd also ask what exactly is wrong. Take it from there.

Lik

PS: Don't use a title like that. I didn't want to read it for a few days because of the title.

 

[M2k961]

Oh yeah, I'm really not asking for any advice there.

Is that sarcasm? Listen to me you little fvck, excuse me for not paying enough attention to your girlish whiney post.

Grow a backbone, loser. Don't come crying to your internet buddies when a girl does something. This place lacks real men. Men that figure **** out on their own.

Finally, somebody who makes a worthwhile post.

Speak for yourself, chump.

 

[Porky]

Originally posted by LikRetsam
Girls are funny. I'm in sort the same dilemna. But same as you bro, the chick is relatively dear to me but she just picked a battle I wasn't interrested in fighting in. You gotta keep all DJism out of friendships btw. There is no **** her, NEXT!

That said, it's obvious that there is something else behind her head. Something else that bothers her. You're attitude just shows off that you don't care, even though you do. You just don't see why you should get mad over this. She doesn't understand that and won't for many months to come. You know you want your friend back. She's not perfect, she trips some times and she just did, but so do you, so do I. You gotta overlook these things if they happen once. I'd go approach your friend and explain clearly why you pulled the image of not caring when you were really just not interrested in fighting and didn't see where she was coming from. I'd also ask what exactly is wrong. Take it from there.

Lik

PS: Don't use a title like that. I didn't want to read it for a few days because of the title.

I just don't have a knack for making good titles. I'll PM you next time I need one.

I decided it isn't my job to approach her. I had my dignity before I had my friends, and I'll have my dignity after I lose my friends. I don't care as much as you think I do about this, and I don't care as much as I think I should about this.

No need to respond, I've got it all sorted out.

 

[drixsa]

hickies are tacky my man.

then again it may be tough to turn them down form two hot girls...but what is this girl doing giving you hickies.

she may not want to admit it but she is in to you.

 

[Vigilante7]

Because she is a good friend of yours, i can only recommend 1 word to you:

COMMUNICATION

ur friends, friends talk....learn to talk

things like these wont go away by themselves, go talk to her

 

[Porky]

She begged me for my forgiveness. I gave it after making sure she knew I wouldn't tolerate that attitude again.

 

[Salacious D]

Sweet. Consider her ass sodomized.

 

[AFK Protector]

What's a hickey? And what's sodomized?

 

[Porky]

A hickey is when a girl sucks hard somewhere on your body (most often the neck) and leaves a bruise.

Sodomy refers to any type of sex other than vaginal sex, but most often refers to anal sex.