"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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She has doubts. Next? Indifference? No contact?

tryst type

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Lateralus said:
This flipping the script and telling her *I* doubt the relationship because of her behavior, isn't that a little too clear for her that I'm mirroring her?
Not if you do it in a way that shows its an after thought, a realization you got from her actions. She helped you see the bright side of things in a sense.

This is the best way to deal with a girl who's lost interest and doesn't know why (you turned beta but she remembers your alpha side)

Not only does it take all the power back but it leaves her with a sense of rejection which no one wants to feel even if it was her idea initially.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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ronniel

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Do it and don't cave in. She will lash out, probably. Be polite, don't appear angry. Don't show any emotion. Use kind words, baby, i think that etc etc. Don't appear bitter, just emotionless.
 

nismo-4

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Women break up with men LONG before actually telling them.

If your gut tells you that your princess is in another castle, she usually is. Mixed signals is evidence of this.

Break up with her first. Then you'll have your answer in her actions and reactions. Of course, go ghost (indifference + no contact). But don't re-initiate unless you want that seat she's built for you in the friendzone.

Case closed.
 

PlayHer Man

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Playing head games with women who have long lost interest in you is a waste of time. Its the domain of beta faggots who are not spinning enough plates.

The time you're wasting on ONE failed relationship can be used to start new ones. HELLO?? :crackup:

Drop this dead fish and start meeting new women. The relationship is over.. so walk away and let all memory of her fade like a fart in the wind.
 

Lateralus

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Tomorrow I will still deliver the blow just to see what happens. I already am assuming it's over and trying to spin plates, so I understand what you are saying PlayHer!

On the other hand... if I just appear tomorrow, act cold and listen to anything she has to say AND repeat the things I already said (me needing some space) wouldn't it be more like a 'I don't give a shyt mentality' than cancel it because I need space, which might come off as unstabile, and being affraid to handle the situation/affraid of rejection?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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PlayHer Man

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Lateralus said:
Tomorrow I will still deliver the blow just to see what happens. I already am assuming it's over and trying to spin plates, so I understand what you are saying PlayHer!

On the other hand... if I just appear tomorrow, act cold and listen to anything she has to say AND repeat the things I already said (me needing some space) wouldn't it be more like a 'I don't give a shyt mentality' than cancel it because I need space, which might come off as unstabile, and being affraid to handle the situation/affraid of rejection?
You should NOT give a sh!t how you "come off". Again you continue to CARE when shouldn't. You care more than the girl.

The relationship is OVER.

OVER --> DEAD

Do you care how a dead person perceives you? Why would you? She (the woman who wants you and loves you) is DEAD. What exists now is a woman who has no interest in you romantically.

It takes bigger balls to walk away than to play high school head games and make sure you "come off the right way" to her. Who gives a sh!t what one stupid b!tch thinks? :crackup: :crackup:
 

nismo-4

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If only men would learn to spin more plates, cases like these would be minimal!

When a woman moves on, she's got somebody else waiting for her.

Case closed.
 

Slickster

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If she wasn't interested she'd be gone not asking to meet.

P.S. You should have other options always.
 

Die Hard

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I'm picking up a strong smell of BPD/cluster B on this girl...
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Die Hard

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Do what you WANT, man! Don't you have your own thoughts about what would be best for you? Don't you have your own emotions that tell you what you WANT?

You are not some robot without thoughts, without emotions, without a free will! So why are you so indecisive and asking US to make the decision for you?

Only one possible reason: you are afraid to make the wrong decision. And being afraid means you are quite emotionally invested in the outcome of this situation. Which you probably don't want to admit to us, but more importantly, to yourself...

So before you make any decision, try to be honest with yourself first. Do some soul searching, listen to your feelings, find out what you really want here...
 

Lateralus

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I've been kissing some chick the whole night, so the plate spinning has begun. Brings the case to an whole other perspective somehow... just giving some f*cks less. Thanks for the great advices here. Not sure what to do tomorrow, but it's just less important than before I guess...
 

Lateralus

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To be honest, Die Hard, I am still very in love with her. Deep inside I wish everything will be alright. That is the only reason I did not f*ck that girl yesterday night.
 

ronniel

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THIS is the mindset you shouldn't have. She will read through you, whatever you say. You are not even ready for a direct confrontation.

Use texting or the phone. Tell her off. Do it quickly
 

Lateralus

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I did man, by texting. Her first reaction was that she wanted to meet anyway to talk it through. I did not agree. Eventually she said that we have nothing to talk about anymore then. So I said: "ok". And the conversation ended. Now I will continue spinning plates and forget about this ****. Thanks.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Slickster

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So your girlfriend who you love dearly wanted to talk things through but you refused......why???
 

Lateralus

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She said she only wanted some clearification on a message I sent wednesday. At the same time she had called me disgusting and said we have nothing to talk about anymore. Doesn't sound like someone who is interested in saving the relationship.
 

Die Hard

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Act kind and loving towards a person and get him used to it. Then once he got used to it, take the kind and loving behavior away from him, so he will try to win it back.

Does that sound anything like the way your (ex)girlfriend treated you, Lateralus?

You picked the wrong girl to fall in love with. She's a drama queen, she will stir up drama for as long as you keep interacting with her. She can't accept a normal, healthy and balanced relationship with a guy, she will feel uneasy in such a relationship, therefor she will always keep pushing your buttons and stirring up drama. She is like a boat that doesn't like to sail on a calm and even lake, but likes to sail on a wild sea with crashing waves instead.

You need to make a very concious effort to stay away from this girl.
 

ronniel

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@Die Hard: this is typical cluster b. if that's the case, the op should run and run fast
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

Read more...

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