She has an old friend who wants her

[suburbanite009]

Ok, this site saved my dating life years ago so I thought Id look for an answer here...

Sorry about the long post but I really need advice on this.

Ive been seeing this girl for about a week, we've seen each other about 5 nights but have not slept together. She seems like she wants to but she is a good christian girl and wants to make sure im really into her and not just looking for sex.

So friday night I was sure i was gonna get some. We were at her place, she was wearing almost nothing, tiny shorts and a sports bra. She had me feel her legs that she had just shaved, she busted out some scented ky massage oils. Then she gets a call at 1am from a friend of hers who got in a big fight with their parents. She says she has to go see them because they get suicidal. Omg I was so pissed but I didnt let it show.

Now on saturday night we are out to the bar with 2 of her male cousins and one of her guy friends. This guy is a major afc from what I could tell. Heres where it gets messed up, he wants her bad but she thinks they are just friends and will always be just friends, seems like no threat to me at all, BUT he keeps hitting on her relentlessly, grabbing her ass, trying to kiss her, trying to hold her hand. I can see that she isnt interested in him, she would turn away from the kisses to get a kiss on the cheek, pull her hand back when he tries to hold it, but she keeps letting him hit on her. I try to ignore it at first because they are old friends and she keeps coming back to me, but every time she gets up from my lap the guy would go after her again.

Now Im trying my hardest not to get jealous, yet I wanted to kick this guys ass. Had this been some random guy I would have stopped him but it was an old friend of hers. Now to make matters worse she tells me she is too drunk to drive and going to be staying the night at his house. I know he is no threat and she would never sleep with him, in fact she told him that 3 times at the bar, but Ill be damned if Im gonna let him take her home so I offer to take her to my place or drive her home to her place which was a half hour away. I told her that I didnt like him hitting on her and I definately didnt like her going to stay at his place. She made a phone call and told me she was going to a diffefrent friends house that was 2 blocks away. At the end of the night she had me walk her to her car and kiss her goodnight. I let her go without getting all jealous.

After all is said and done, I think she went to his place anyways. And I think he was the same guy who called her on friday night but that could just be jealous paranoia. I am sure he is no threat, but I dont know how to handle the situation because they are old friends. Do I ignore it (seems like what I should do), do I tell him to keep his hands off her if i see him again (seems like this could backfire and make me seem like jealous prick), do I tell her I dont want her hanging out with him (seems like the wrong thing to do), or maybe I should start tactfully poking at him to set him off and make him seem like the jealous prick, which might not even need me do do anything because he seems like such an afc.

Anyways how do you all think I should handle this?

 

[Gangster Of Love]

She is not commited to you, so don't even think about making demands on her. You are currently in a no win sitauation that will only worsen if you keep letting your jealousy and insecurity scream loud and clear the way they have.

Stop treating this broad like a "good christian girl." Good christian girls do not have sex outside of marriage, that is it. How old are you, how old is she? She is really using her sexual power to drive you insane. She is doing every old trick in the book. The "friend" to make you jealous, the witholding of sex, etc.

She knows that you are looking for sex. They all know that. What guy isn't? A girls reality tends to be a lot different than ours. She knows you, her "friend", and every other guy is looking for sex. Every attractive woman has "friends" who want to tap her from behind. Get it in your head.

Stop it. You been seeing her for about a week, and already you've spend 5 nights together? My guess is that her "friend" already slept with her in the past, and she probably is not interested in him anymore. He doesn't seem to think of her as a "nice christian girl", does he?

She has "suicidal" friends? Sounds like a quality girl there. Start poking at him to make him sound like a jealous prick? Are you kiddin' me? They already did that to you, and you are the one who looks like the jealous prick. You are playing her (their) game, and you are getting yours handed on this one.

Time to step back and re-access your situation and be willing to step away, perhaps even permanently. You don't need this kind of thing. If she really is such a catch, she will come around, by then it should be on your terms.

I cannot begin to tell you how much your situation pains me. This is the kind of stuff that initially drove me here and I will always do what is in my power to help any guy avoid.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

:nono: Beware of becoming the "rebound guy."

 

[suburbanite009]

thanks for your responses, a little more backround, i am 30, she is 24. she claims to have only slept with 5 guys, 2 guys in ltr's from 18 - 24. her last bf cheated on her and she dumped him. in the last 4 months she claims to have slept with 3 guys and says she isnt going to have sex with anyone else outside of a relationship. Im feeling her interest level in me is high to very high. I dont think she has ever slept with this friend of hers and I dont think she ever would. I still think Ive got a real shot with this girl, but gangster of love is right, I need to step back and get the ball back in my court. My last few girlfriends were overweight and I wasnt that attracted to them, this girl is hot, and I have to try hard to not to get all AFC on her.

 

[reset]

Dude at 30 you should be setting the tone with women. If you don't get what you want, you walk away. She's a little girl and she's pushing all your buttons.

Sorry but from your post, this girl sounds like a big tease, and gets off this one guy wanting to sleep with her, while you sit there watching, ALSO wanting to sleep with her... she's got two guys who want to sleep with her, while she gets drunk and watches the whole thing. That's about as good as it gets for a girl.

Also, when you're just starting to see her, why are you hanging out with her friends at all, especially guy friends? Guy friends who are suicidal? Who have their hands all over her... is that your idea of a fun date? Then you offer to drive her home, and she wants to sleep at someone else's house instead.....

Sounds like you know you're in a goofy situation. I used to think this was normal, it's not. Treat yourself better than this.

 

[suburbanite009]

damn, this sucks, you guys are probably right, I hope you are wrong, but im sure youre not. well, thanks for shedding some outside light on my situation.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Yup, reset is absolutely right. Those are the kinds of scenarios little teaser girls like to have guys in.

Gents, please stop rationalizing all this second class behavior you get from broads as acceptable. I like it how you guys will blame it on the other guy, the situation, and give her a free pass just because she is hot. Time to start changing to another frame. Own your own frame.

 

[Interceptor]

GoL wrote:......and give her a free pass just because she is hot.


Only chumps let women walk all over them just because "OMG! She's HAWT!".
Don't be a chump. Don't give women more ammunition in their thinking that all men are chumps and accept any behavior from them just because they look good. Just because she may be hot does not excuse bad behavior.

When the "Scarcity Complex" rules, Nobody Wins.