She Has a Boyfriend

[NSUballer]

I met this HB 9 last nite in a bar downtown. I dont even really remember how we started talking as I had more than a few beers in me by that time.

We hit it off really well and ended up making out and getting about as close to fu(king as you can with your clothes on. She was loving me like I was the most interesting man in the world.

Apparently I am a good kisser because she basically attacked me after she got a little taste. She was hesitant of my advances at first but eventually gave in. Her friends end up pulling her into a cab and leaving but not before she gave me her number.

She had mentioned early in the nite she had a boyfriend of four years. I paid that no mind because I could tell she was really into me.

I want to ask her out and try to finish what we started last nite. Whats some thoughts on this situation?

Obviously she isnt all that satisfied in her current relationship or she wouldnt have been all over me like she was.

 

[Boilermaker]

be prepared for a major flake.

and then ask her out.

 

[drak_ool]

We hit it off really well and ended up making out and getting about as close to fu(king as you can with your clothes on. She was loving me like I was the most interesting man in the world.

this might sound counter-intuitive, but to me this situation has become a huge red flag. If a girl wants to fuk you, she will find a way to do so. In the car, in the back alley, in the motel down the street, back at your place, back at hers... However, if she is just an attention-craving slvt (aka the Modern American Woman), she will go buckwild in the club, knowing full well that her friends will "drag" her at the end of the night. The nxt day she can blame it all on the amount of alcohol ingested, plus she's not a bad girlfriend because "nothing happened, we were just kissing."

I want to ask her out and try to finish what we started last nite. Whats some thoughts on this situation?

Obviously she isnt all that satisfied in her current relationship or she wouldnt have been all over me like she was.

Of course, you don't want to just discard her, after all she was attracted to you in the first place. I'd say put in the minimum amount of effort into trying to set up a follow up date ASAP. IF she does agree to a date, you NEED to bang her that night. The more time you wait, the more the dynamics of her relationship will take over and her attraction level to you will decrease. Don't worry too much about building rapport and what not, chances are if she responds to your txts, she is just using you as a distraction from the problems in her relationship. In other words, as an emotional tampon. And no girl has ever had sex with her tampon...

 

[Desdinova]

You're going to have two kinds of women with bfs:

1) Those who are not satisfied in their relationship and are looking to upgrade. These are the women who do not live with their bf.

2)Those who are deeply invested (materially) in their relationship, but are no longer highly attracted to the man. These are the ones who are living with their bf, engaged, and married.

If she's the first type, chances are you are the guy who's going to replace the boring AFC she's with. If she's the second type, she will string you along for a long time but never fully commit because of her material investments in her relationship (this can include children).

Ask her out on a date. You'll find out soon enough which type she is and be able to proceed from there.

 

[NSUballer]

I texted her yesterday morning saying I had a great time in which she replied that she had a great time too with a at the end.

I asked her to get some food yesterday and she replied that she couldnt because she was watching her niece.

I will call her again tonite and set something up, hopefully. This girl is straight up gorgeous so I have nothing to lose.

 

[MatureDJ]

If you're just looking for sex, then you may as well go for it. Like others have said, be prepared for a major flake, so give her exactly one chance to agree to a hookup/date (and these days since everyone has a mobile phone, she will have your #, if she really is interested.) She is not fit to be girlfriend/wife material - only for a casual sex harem concubine.

I once picked up a chick at my freshmen dorm's toga party (evidently it has always been known as one of the coolest parties on campus!), and did something like that with her. She had mentioned a "kind of" boyfriend. Of course, she flaked.

 

[NSUballer]

Yea I asked today and she said she cant..

 

[nismo-4]

Fellow New Orleanian,

This girl is merely teasing you and craving attention.

drak ool nailed this one.

Better go for the lay. If that doesn't happen, cut her. Flaking is highly likely.

Case closed.

 

[Desdinova]

Yea I asked today and she said she cant..

She's now rejected two dates. Contact her in a week and try once more. If she declines again, ditch her.

I'll say it again... Going out for a meal isn't a fun activity; eating is a necessity. You wanna invite her over to pay some bills too?

 

[iqqi]

She's now rejected two dates. Contact her in a week and try once more. If she declines again, ditch her.

I'll say it again... Going out for a meal isn't a fun activity; eating is a necessity. You wanna invite her over to pay some bills too?

I agree here. Don't call her again tonight. Wait at least a few days to make her wonder if she blew it by turning you down. And when you invite her out, do it for drinks. Drinks = lowered inhibitions, which she clearly has a few of. Also a drink or two is much less "cheating" than going out for dinner.

 

[AW1983]

Also a drink or two is much less "cheating" than going out for dinner.

Exactly, frame it like you're just going to "hang out" and then escalate in person once she's got some liquid courage mustered...

 

[origin138]

Sounds like she was definitely interested the night you guys hooked up, but based on her behavior afterward she's either got buyer's remorse because she cheated on her beta, or she hooked up with numerous other randoms inside the club and vaguely remembers you.

It seems not enough rapport was established prior to the hook up and now she's blowing you off.

I'd venture a third attempt to contact her will result in a third blow off, but if not I stand corrected, women are odd.

It's been said before, if she wanted to fvck you, she'd find a way to make that happen, up to and including using your phone calls/texts to facilitate it. I don't see that happening.

Whatever the outcome, best of luck!

 

[backbreaker]

She's now rejected two dates. Contact her in a week and try once more. If she declines again, ditch her.

I'll say it again... Going out for a meal isn't a fun activity; eating is a necessity. You wanna invite her over to pay some bills too?

if she is going to actually pay them fvck yes lol

 

[Victory Unlimited]

What the HELL is going on around here????

Since when did we start asking girls who proudly announce that they have "boyfriends' out on "dates"???


NSUBaller,


I think you've gotten this girl confused with a chick who is really emotionally "torn" between leaving and/or cheating on her boyfriend with somebody else. I think you're ascribing too much character, too much depth, and too much "quality" to this woman.

Remember: This is NOT a woman that you were attracted to that you met and had a deep, meaningful, thought-provoking conversation with-----this is a girl you met out drinking and clubbing----not at school, at church, at the grocery store or somewhere less conspicuously "hook-up" oriented.

DISCLAIMER:In most instances, I would personally steer clear of women who blatantly ANNOUNCE their current involvement with some other guy because I hate inviting unnecessary and OBVIOUS potential drama into my life. But...if I WOULD consider stepping to this chick, here's my take on it:

I say stop treating this chick like the girl next door and start treating her like a door knob ready to be "turned". I say reach for it once or twice, then try to turn it. And if it refuses to be "turned" let it go and start looking for "doors' (chicks) who are ready and willing to be "opened". You feel me?

Most would say that if a girl would cheat WITH you, then she'd also cheat ON you. I'm actually of two minds on the subject. However, in this case, if I were in Vegas I'd bet she WAS a girl that would cheat ON you if you ever got with her for anything beyond a fling.

Having said that, if I were you, I would absolutely NOT ask this chick out or spend ANY money trying to put on a facade of a genuine courtship. She smashed that picture by damn near fukking you in public. Instead, I'd be REAL and go for the direct hit. Time out for "games" bro'. You're not fooling anybody and SHE'S not fooling anybody. Go for the HIT "only" and make her tell you YAY or NAY.

If she was a chick worthy of taking OUT, then she most likely wouldn't have been MAKING OUT with you in public. Hell, isn't it possible that her "boyfriend" could have walked in and saw her with you? There's always an emotional and PHYSICAL risk to going after chicks with boyfriends--------though I do recognize that most women are in various stages of "involvement" with some dude or another when you meet them. You gotta be careful how you approach situations like this.

I say leave the date nights to women who are date-worthy. Judging by how free and freaky she was with you at the bar, this woman may be worthy of "something"------but at this point in her life, I wouldn't call it a "date".

V.U.

 

[Married Buried]

I texted her yesterday morning saying I had a great time in which she replied that she had a great time too with a at the end.

I asked her to get some food yesterday and she replied that she couldnt because she was watching her niece.

I will call her again tonite and set something up, hopefully. This girl is straight up gorgeous so I have nothing to lose.

The mistake you made is ASKING this slut to do anything. She wants to be lead.

You should have called her up and reminded her who you are. You should TELL her where to meet you and at what time. Something like this:

Tell her that you're busy, you can't talk but you want to see her and tell her when, where and what you're going to do. Tell her that you need an answer now. The whole thing should take you 10 seconds, 15 tops.

 

[Jitterbug]

Know thy Enemy.

This chick was after a safe thrill. Getting sexual attention from an attractive guy, maybe a bit of making out and groping, then getting pulled back by her girls and going home safely. Anything further has to be no strings attached. However, everything NSUBaller has suggested to her sounds like strings: all one on one dates, no plausible deniability. What do you think she will say to her boyfriend when she needs to be absent for a few hours with no alibi?

Try some public event that you both just "happen" to drop by when convenient, where there's alcohol, sexy vibe and logistics (to wherever sex can happen) are sound.

 

[backbreaker]

Know thy Enemy.

This chick was after a safe thrill. Getting sexual attention from an attractive guy, maybe a bit of making out and groping, then getting pulled back by her girls and going home safely. Anything further has to be no strings attached. However, everything NSUBaller has suggested to her sounds like strings: all one on one dates, no plausible deniability. What do you think she will say to her boyfriend when she needs to be absent for a few hours with no alibi?

Try some public event that you both just "happen" to drop by when convenient, where there's alcohol, sexy vibe and logistics (to wherever sex can happen) are sound.

i must adimt this is fvcking brilliant. i don't know why i never thought of doing this with girls that have men. will have to store in the memory bank. usually my entire mode was to get them to the point where they would just cheat but this is very smart. hey just meet me at such and such party or so and so dance club. it's much easier for a girl to get out with a night with the girls (see this very forum) than it is to find time for a 2-3 hour date on a Thursday afternoon

 

[Jitterbug]

It is my strategy to deal with flakey young attractive girls who have plenty of options and hate hate hate hate the idea of committing to any one-on-one date. It just happens to work well with women who need an alibi lol

 

[NSUballer]

I still got her on the line. She text me at 1am saying she didnt know I live out of town.

This girl is nothing more than a trophy fvck. Apparently her bf doesnt live here so thats all clear.

I didnt ask her out on an actual date per se. I have an actual date lined up saturday with another girl. I picked up another one last nite who I havent asked out yet but she lives close.

Victory I hear you man and I understand where your coming from.

 

[drak_ool]

NSUballer, can we get an update on this chick? Honestly, you don't need to prove yourself to us, and certainly not by banging or not banging such an attention wh0re. But I am just trying to collect more data on this type of girls who go buck wild in the club, yet refuse the ONS. I recently hooked up with one after a month-long texting saga (FR to follow), but in general I still hold to my theory that this type of girls, ESPECIALLY when they have a bf, won't put out.