"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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She Has A Boyfriend - College Dillema

A

Audiophile

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Situation: Cute girl who was in my class, got introduced to her through some other friends (also girls) a few weeks back, I made a great first impression as always. Some time passes and I just run into her sitting out in the quad, so I chat with her (she was with 2 of her guy friends) for a bit, and leave to meet up with some friends. Got her number then, sent her a few quick back and forths, but I cut to the chase and asked her out after my exams.

She said she'd still like to go out with me, but she has a boyfriend. I hit it off pretty well with this girl, we were flirting and she was definitely comfortable around me, so I'd like to see what you guys think.

My thoughts:

Go out and just be myself, be flirty but not too aggressive since she's got a boyfriend, and just have some fun even if the outcome isn't anything. Could be worthwhile, even more people to know on campus, and she could open up even more opportunities through her friends.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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J

JPlaya

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depends on the girl. If she cheats on her boyfriend pretty often than you're golden
 
A

Audiophile

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Nah, she doesn't seem like that kind of girl at all. If she was willing to cheat she most likely wouldn't have mentioned him at all, besides, I'm not one to be a boyfriend destroyer.
 
L

luckster

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Audiophile said:
Situation: Cute girl who was in my class, got introduced to her through some other friends (also girls) a few weeks back, I made a great first impression as always. Some time passes and I just run into her sitting out in the quad, so I chat with her (she was with 2 of her guy friends) for a bit, and leave to meet up with some friends. Got her number then, sent her a few quick back and forths, but I cut to the chase and asked her out after my exams.

She said she'd still like to go out with me, but she has a boyfriend. I hit it off pretty well with this girl, we were flirting and she was definitely comfortable around me, so I'd like to see what you guys think.

My thoughts:

Go out and just be myself, be flirty but not too aggressive since she's got a boyfriend, and just have some fun even if the outcome isn't anything. Could be worthwhile, even more people to know on campus, and she could open up even more opportunities through her friends.
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Well, what are you looking for with this girl?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

A

Audiophile

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We were vibing pretty well when we were just talking and having fun, so she piqued my interest, wanted to go on a date with her to see if she's a cool girl. This is all with the intention of getting intimate with her if things go well, I've no doubt that it WOULD happen if she were single.

Now I have no idea, I don't want her to cheat on her boyfriend, but I still want to have her as an option in the future. I'll just go since I already asked, keep things light, have fun, but at the same time keep distant enough to not have her frame me as a "friend only".

John - I didn't know until I asked her out, and I wouldn't really use the word "chase". I've expended no extra effort to go for this girl other than sending a few quick texts back and forth.
 
J

JohnChops

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Audiophile said:
We were vibing pretty well when we were just talking and having fun, so she piqued my interest, wanted to go on a date with her to see if she's a cool girl. This is all with the intention of getting intimate with her if things go well, I've no doubt that it WOULD happen if she were single.

Now I have no idea, I don't want her to cheat on her boyfriend, but I still want to have her as an option in the future. I'll just go since I already asked, keep things light, have fun, but at the same time keep distant enough to not have her frame me as a "friend only".

John - I didn't know until I asked her out, and I wouldn't really use the word "chase". I've expended no extra effort to go for this girl other than sending a few quick texts back and forth.
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Ahh okay, lol she blind sided you huh? Well she wont frame you as a friend unless you constantly keep in contact with her and always hangout with her (without escalation ). So just go out with her like you planned to do and just have a good time, be touchy, etc you know what to do but dont go for anything if you feel like you dont want her to cheat on her boyfriend
 
Krueg

Krueg

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As PR_L would put it. "You're just the next pimp in line!" If this girl leaves her boyfriend for you. She will easily do the same to you with another guy who has just as good as game as you, if not better. I would almost suspect your not the only guy she throws her number out to. Do as you wish, just remember there are plenty of other fish in the sea.
 
A

Audiophile

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Krueg said:
As PR_L would put it. "You're just the next pimp in line!" If this girl leaves her boyfriend for you. She will easily do the same to you with another guy who has just as good as game as you, if not better. I would almost suspect your not the only guy she throws her number out to. Do as you wish, just remember there are plenty of other fish in the sea.
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I always have a problem with this logic. If she leaves this guy for me it's because I'm THAT much better than him, and his failure as a man to keep her interested. Of course she would do the same to me... if I was a failure at keeping her. Cheating is different, all I have to do is get her interested in me just enough to have her forget about this guy and get intimate, and when you can get her emotions stirring it really isn't too difficult. But if that happens I ruin any future chances of dating her, so I'm not gonna go down that road.

I have no problems keeping a woman interested, if you're a don juan throughout the entire interaction and relationship, she will keep coming back to you. I don't disagree with you though, this happens if the man who has her does not make himself a challenge, and gives himself up to the woman.

You're right though, there are plenty of other fish in the sea, but this is just another hook I threw out, and I'll just see if there's ever a bite ;)
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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M

MM92

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Are you that bad with women that there are no others interested in you so you must chase this one with a boyfriend?
 
E

ezio

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Its obvious from your opening post you know just what to do. all i'd advise is not to invest too much time, money in her. careful you also don't become too emotionally attached to her since she already has a bf. don't also fall into the trap of becoming her emotional tampon.

atm moment she's only useful for social proof. make her introduce you to her hot friends, build a bigger circle of friends. you get invited to more social events = more opportunities to meet and **** other chicks.
Remember always maintain the sexual tension between the two of you-kino,flirt etc- loose this and its game over for you
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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