She has a bf! What do I do?

[TheOne21]

Alright, I know I'm gonna get a lot of crap about this, but here goes.. I met a girl online around 8 months ago. Yep, I said online. We began talking, she told me from day 1 that she had a bf. We carried on talking, and eventually began to like one another. Within 3 months of talking, we both confessed that we fell for one another.. Seen her on webcam so I know she's real..

After this, all went fine. She told me she was breaking up with her bf soon and then I can come see her. She hasn't broken up just yet but intends to very soon. But for the last 2 months, her behaviour has changed. She barely wants to spend any time with me any more. She plays video games and spends a lot of time playing and talking to the guys she games with.

I'll be honest, I made the mistake of getting attached to her. I have dated other girls in my past (real ones), and never got attached before. She's the first. I really want to be with her..

How the hell do I get her behaviour back to normal? I know I should break it off, but I want her.. Any advice appreciated about this.

P.s. She has behaved weird before for a week or so in the past but this time it's more permanant.

 

[TheException]

I met a girl online around 8 months ago.

8 months with no sex = friendzone/orbiter/using you for attention

she told me from day 1 that she had a bf.

Should have next-ed. If she breaks up and is interested she will get in contact with you...

Within 3 months of talking, we both confessed that we fell for one another.

Blows my mind...

1.) That you fell in love with a woman who you never have had sex with, let alone met.

2.) You fell in love in only 3 months.

The way of the beta...

She hasn't broken up just yet but intends to very soon.

Intends to my a$$. Shes using you for attention while her bf rails her.(Actually theres a 68.3% chance hes an online boyfriend)

But for the last 2 months, her behaviour has changed. She barely wants to spend any time with me any more. She plays video games and spends a lot of time playing and talking to the guys she games with.

And for 2 months you followed her like a puppy dog just hoping to get some validation from her that she still likes you...dude seriously cut the sh1t, and quit acting like such a chump. Its possible to be having ONS, yes thats right ONE NIGHT stands, not 8 MONTHS of wasted time.

How the hell do I get her behaviour back to normal? I know I should break it off, but I want her.. Any advice appreciated about this.

You only want her because you have no options currently. If you were having sex with 3 different girls on the regular...are you gonna sit here and tell me you still wish you had this girl? No you wouldnt. You need to get a plan of action involving your career/work, goals & hobbies/social situations and go out and meet some people.

Lack of options = Desperate behavior as on display by OP.

 

[zekko]

How the hell do I get her behaviour back to normal? I know I should break it off, but I want her.

Why would you want someone who jerks you around? You've built this woman up to be someone in your head that the real thing isn't living up to. Your real problem is that you are infatuated with this girl (also called "oneitis" around here). Your focus should be breaking that infatuation and gaming someone else more worthy of your attention.

 

[backseatjuan]

Ok, next time you meet a girl online, establish rapport, something common between you two. When you feel like she is comfortable with you, get her number. Call her on the phone, and invite her to come hang out with you, deliberately after the darkness hits. Then kino, escalate, and f'ck her some place, like the back seat of your car! Some place romantic, like in the middle of f'cking woods with a nice view on the city.

If a girl says she has a boyfriend, ask her if he can move over.

If a girl doesn't want to give you her number, go cold for a month or two.

If a girl doesn't want to meet you just yet, tell her ok, maybe some other time, and go cold for a week.

Backseatjuan went slut in a span of several months f'cking a pretty good number of women on the back of his car, back seat is still covered in seamen. My girlfriend keeps asking me what is that. Online baby, is the new cool!

 

[TheOne21]

I met a girl online around 8 months ago.

8 months with no sex = friendzone/orbiter/using you for attention

she told me from day 1 that she had a bf.

Should have next-ed. If she breaks up and is interested she will get in contact with you...

Within 3 months of talking, we both confessed that we fell for one another.

Blows my mind...

1.) That you fell in love with a woman who you never have had sex with, let alone met.

2.) You fell in love in only 3 months.

The way of the beta...

She hasn't broken up just yet but intends to very soon.

Intends to my a$$. Shes using you for attention while her bf rails her.(Actually theres a 68.3% chance hes an online boyfriend)

But for the last 2 months, her behaviour has changed. She barely wants to spend any time with me any more. She plays video games and spends a lot of time playing and talking to the guys she games with.

And for 2 months you followed her like a puppy dog just hoping to get some validation from her that she still likes you...dude seriously cut the sh1t, and quit acting like such a chump. Its possible to be having ONS, yes thats right ONE NIGHT stands, not 8 MONTHS of wasted time.

How the hell do I get her behaviour back to normal? I know I should break it off, but I want her.. Any advice appreciated about this.

You only want her because you have no options currently. If you were having sex with 3 different girls on the regular...are you gonna sit here and tell me you still wish you had this girl? No you wouldnt. You need to get a plan of action involving your career/work, goals & hobbies/social situations and go out and meet some people.

Lack of options = Desperate behavior as on display by OP.

Yep, thought about the "friendzone/orbiter/using you for attention" - could be very true..

Yep, 3 months man. I've dated some women (real ones) for upto and over a year and never said "I love you" to any of them, and this one managed to get it out of me in 3 f*ckin months! I was an Alpha with all the other women which is why I've never had a problem, but this woman has had an effect on me like no other.

Nah, he's not an online bf. He lives with her atm.

Nah, for a month, I ignored her back, but she hasn't made much effort after that.. So this month, trying to get things back to normal..

Atm, no options, I can get other women but even when I'm flirting with other women or on dates, I can't stop thinking about this B*TCH! She's always on my bloody mind.

I am getting involved in more things now, but it ain't helping much..

And thanks for the reply man & some harsh words, needed that

 

[TheOne21]

@TheException

Yep, thought about the "friendzone/orbiter/using you for attention" - could be very true..

Yep, 3 months man. I've dated some women (real ones) for upto and over a year and never said "I love you" to any of them, and this one managed to get it out of me in 3 f*ckin months! I was an Alpha with all the other women which is why I've never had a problem, but this woman has had an effect on me like no other.

Nah, he's not an online bf. He lives with her atm.

Nah, for a month, I ignored her back, but she hasn't made much effort after that.. So this month, trying to get things back to normal..

Atm, no options, I can get other women but even when I'm flirting with other women or on dates, I can't stop thinking about this B*TCH! She's always on my bloody mind.

I am getting involved in more things now, but it ain't helping much.. Thanks for the words man, needed that

 

[TheOne21]

Why would you want someone who jerks you around? You've built this woman up to be someone in your head that the real thing isn't living up to. Your real problem is that you are infatuated with this girl (also called "oneitis" around here). Your focus should be breaking that infatuation and gaming someone else more worthy of your attention.

I guess it's the first time a woman has behaved with me in such a way, so maybe I see it as a challange.. And because I really like her..

Mate, I have dated other girls & flirt on a often basis but I can't stop thinking about her.. Any advice on how to get rid of her thoughts?

 

[TheOne21]

Ok, next time you meet a girl online, establish rapport, something common between you two. When you feel like she is comfortable with you, get her number. Call her on the phone, and invite her to come hang out with you, deliberately after the darkness hits. Then kino, escalate, and f'ck her some place, like the back seat of your car! Some place romantic, like in the middle of f'cking woods with a nice view on the city.

If a girl says she has a boyfriend, ask her if he can move over.

If a girl doesn't want to give you her number, go cold for a month or two.

If a girl doesn't want to meet you just yet, tell her ok, maybe some other time, and go cold for a week.

Backseatjuan went slut in a span of several months f'cking a pretty good number of women on the back of his car, back seat is still covered in seamen. My girlfriend keeps asking me what is that. Online baby, is the new cool!

I would've f*cked this chick a long time ago but she's in a different country, that's the problem. If she was here, trust me, she's be sucking my d*ck right now.

But yeah, that's for next time - how about this time?

 

[TheOne21]

You can't make a ho a housewife

See, that's the challange for me.. I'm f*ckin insane aren't I lol

 

[TheOne21]

The real challenge is attracting a quality woman. Any low self esteem guy can lick the bottom of the barrel and repackage it as a "challenge" haha

Alright, I'll be honest. It's not the "challenge", I really like her. I know she's someone's girl, and I'm completely in the wrong, but what I feel for her, I've never felt for any girl in my past.

That's the truth.

 

[TheOne21]

In other words, she's hot haha. She's a who're, why be attracted to a wh0re?

Nah, she's not hot, she's smokin! lol.. But it's not her looks, I swear if she didn't look the way she did, nothing would change, it's about the personality, well the one she showed before she began acting up..

I can't say for sure that she's a wh*re. This girl doesn't sleep with her man, I can bet on that. She's up gaming all night, so I think it's quite clear there. She says she doesn't sleep with other men either.. She's either at work or gaming most of the time.

 

[Alvafe]

Alright, I'll be honest. It's not the "challenge", I really like her. I know she's someone's girl, and I'm completely in the wrong, but what I feel for her, I've never felt for any girl in my past.

That's the truth.

who that line I never felt like that before, dude you problem is lack of a girl jumping on you, and like you said past she is in the past now move on, you feel in love for a girl who you never meet and worse not even dated, just delete her from skype and her e-mail block facebook and go out with a real one, and serious how youa re sure she is real? her cam? can I tell you how you can fake that?

 

[Alvafe]

Nah, she's not hot, she's smokin! lol.. But it's not her looks, I swear if she didn't look the way she did, nothing would change, it's about the personality, well the one she showed before she began acting up..

I can't say for sure that she's a wh*re. This girl doesn't sleep with her man, I can bet on that. She's up gaming all night, so I think it's quite clear there. She says she doesn't sleep with other men either.. She's either at work or gaming most of the time.

that is your wishfull thinking I can spend a whole night playing then wake up afternoon to meet a girl and bang her, you don't need to limit you sex life to nights only, and when youa re dating someone you will do it.

but if she really don't then you have another redflag for you she lied, she is not dating anyone and is using you for ego boost, really are you still trying to defend teh stupid thing you are doing or you will learn from this and stop this mistake?

 

[TheOne21]

who that line I never felt like that before, dude you problem is lack of a girl jumping on you, and like you said past she is in the past now move on, you feel in love for a girl who you never meet and worse not even dated, just delete her from skype and her e-mail block facebook and go out with a real one, and serious how youa re sure she is real? her cam? can I tell you how you can fake that?

I know, I have been on dates, and even then, I can't get her out of my mind. I am trying to stop thinking about her and move on, but it's hard man, I made the mistake of getting too close.

I have thought about going cold and walking out of her life but I don't want to.

Yep, she's real. 100% sure of that. Let's just say, I've done my research on her. You don't need to worry about that bit..

 

[TheOne21]

that is your wishfull thinking I can spend a whole night playing then wake up afternoon to meet a girl and bang her, you don't need to limit you sex life to nights only, and when youa re dating someone you will do it.

but if she really don't then you have another redflag for you she lied, she is not dating anyone and is using you for ego boost, really are you still trying to defend teh stupid thing you are doing or you will learn from this and stop this mistake?

I know it's odd, but as a normal guy, if you were with a fit girl, what would you do during the nights with her? Play games or f*ck the sh*t out of her? I rest my case.

I know it's a possibility that she does it in the afternoons/evenings but I doubt it because that's when she'd talk to me.. But I could be wrong.

I know I'm being stupid but I'm so close, well I was close. She told me 2 months ago, she spoke to her bf about breaking up, and that's when her behaviour began to change..

 

[zinc4]

Dude this is pathetic and i doubt she has any respect for you....i mean who could wth soeone who is hanging around like you and u have never even met and she has a BF???????? and do you really want a girl who has a bf and talks to guys online behind his back???

I mean...this aint even a quality girl we are talking about here based on her actions and u have wasted 8 months chatting online??????? My mind is blown...either you have zero options or are just a lunatic caught up in some ridiculous fantasy.

What u do is meet an actual girl where u live and not some low quality skank (unless just for sex of course) who chats with guys on the internet left and right despite having a BF....what a pathetic AW she is....

 

[nismo-4]

Judge nismo on the case.

Alright, I know I'm gonna get a lot of crap about this, but here goes..

I hope you're spinning plates.

I met a girl online around 8 months ago. Yep, I said online. We began talking, she told me from day 1 that she had a bf.

And why the f**k didn't you drop her ass?

We carried on talking, and eventually began to like one another.

As friends that is!

Within 3 months of talking, we both confessed that we fell for one another.. Seen her on webcam so I know she's real..

Damn! You're in the cyber-friendzone!:crackup:

After this, all went fine. She told me she was breaking up with her bf soon and then I can come see her. She hasn't broken up just yet but intends to very soon.

Very soon could be years down the line. Why wait? She's using you for attention and you're giving it to her. There you go.

But for the last 2 months, her behaviour has changed. She barely wants to spend any time with me any more. She plays video games and spends a lot of time playing and talking to the guys she games with.

Mixed signals means low interest. She's lost respect for you. And it's all your fault.

I'll be honest, I made the mistake of getting attached to her. I have dated other girls in my past (real ones), and never got attached before. She's the first. I really want to be with her..

You are guilty of unauthorized use of a pedestal. I'm the jerk who destroyed it before I took her to chambers.

How the hell do I get her behaviour back to normal? I know I should break it off, but I want her.. Any advice appreciated about this.

You answered you own question. See the bold? And when you feel like you're gonna lose a girl and have her so high up, you've already lost. For your own sake, go ghost!!!

P.s. She has behaved weird before for a week or so in the past but this time it's more permanant.

Too available, too clingy, too high up on a pedestal you built, too much of your attention, too few options, too much smothering with affection, too deep in the friendzone, god damn it, need I go on? Oh yeah, she doesn't even respect you.

Read betwe- You have committed the ways of the omega male.

Case closed. Get out of my court.

 

[pinkfl]

Never trust anyone that is in a relationship with someone else. You're only going to end up hurting yourself, which is exactly what happened here.