"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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She has 3 gay roommates

Mr.Positive

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Hey folks, could use some thoughts on my current situation. I've two gals I'm getting involved with right now. One, is an old flame from a year or so ago, moved back into my area...and we are having temp fling, just enjoying time spent together, as she may be moving again.

The 2nd gal, I've seen three times. So far, she seems great, very feminine, a little curvy, not hot, but definitely very cute. She's got very high interest in me, and zero red flags.

Here's the curve ball. She lives with three gay men, in the gayest area of the city, lot's of gay bars around with gay nightlife. She also says she enjoys going to gay bars with her friends.

She doesn't own a car, so the times I've seen her, we've done things in the city. The last couple of times I've dropped her off, we've heated things up inside the car, and she's invited me up to her flat. I've declined both times. One time, I noticed a group of gay guys watching us.

I'm not anti gay people, live and let live...but this situation makes me uncomfortable. Almost like my lidido takes a nose dive seeing all these gay guys walking around.

I'm trying to figure this gal out, she's really out of place where she lives, so I've been taking things slow with her. So far, all this has done is increase her interest level.

Any thoughts on this unique situation?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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DJDamage

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I would have already an issue with the fact that she is living with 3 men. I have seen gay dudes acting around their "women friends" while jokingly molesting their t1ts & ass and the girls laugh it off because its ok "they are gay and all" :rolleyes:

If you don't want to fuk her at her place then you better bring her to yours.
 

Mr.Positive

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DJDamage said:
I would have already an issue with the fact that she is living with 3 men. I have seen gay dudes acting around their "women friends" while jokingly molesting their t1ts & ass and the girls laugh it off because its ok "they are gay and all" :rolleyes:

If you don't want to fuk her at her place then you better bring her to yours.
Interesting point DJ about gay guys behavior, didn't think about that...

I've already made tentative plans to get her out of the city next time, my neck of the woods.

I guess I'm trying figure out why a gal would choose to live with gay guys, in the gayest area of the city, and be such a part of their lifestyle. It's really out of place from what I've learned about her, nice girl next door type.
 

DJDamage

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Mr.Positive said:
I guess I'm trying figure out why a gal would choose to live with gay guys, in the gayest area of the city, and be such a part of their lifestyle. It's really out of place from what I've learned about her, nice girl next door type.
Why? because she isn't too bright, just following the trend of trying to be hip by being around gay dudes, or she couldn't find anything cheaper in that part of town.

Maybe you should just ask her.
 

Mr.Positive

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DJDamage said:
Why? because she isn't too bright, just following the trend of trying to be hip by being around gay dudes, or she couldn't find anything cheaper in that part of town.

Maybe you should just ask her.
So you think that this is a red flag then..

I don't think she's there to be trendy, she is from a small town in the midwest. She seems like the type of gal you could introduce to your parents. It just doesn't fit her, the whole gay thing.

She has no 'other' red flags, I'm not ready to next her just yet.

I don't want to ask her yet either, or haven't found a good way to do it. I want her to feel open around me, so I can learn more about her.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Warrior74

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Mr.Positive said:
I don't want to ask her yet either, or haven't found a good way to do it. I want her to feel open around me, so I can learn more about her.
Ask her about how it FELT when she first moved to town and ask her about how she met her roommates and what she likes about her side of town. make it about her.
 

JCB

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What is the problem here? If you're a straight guy why are you having issues with gay guys?
 

Mr.Positive

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JCB said:
What is the problem here? If you're a straight guy why are you having issues with gay guys?
I don't have any issues with gay folks, I'm just not used to the whole gay culture....and this gal is surrounded by it. I'm a bit old-fashioned in a sense, in that way. No disrespect to any gay people reading this.
 

Mr.Positive

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Warrior74 said:
Ask her about how it FELT when she first moved to town and ask her about how she met her roommates and what she likes about her side of town. make it about her.
I'll do that Warrior, good advise. Thanks.
 

JCB

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Mr.Positive said:
I don't have any issues with gay folks, I'm just not used to the whole gay culture....and this gal is surrounded by it. I'm a bit old-fashioned in a sense, in that way. No disrespect to any gay people reading this.

It's just a different chord on the sexual scale. Just speak to the gay guys as you'd speak to anyone else. If you respect them there'll respect you back and if they don't you gave them a shot. If you went into her house with an open mind you could even meet three new friends ;)

I've found that having an open minded attitude to all different types of people and especially gay guys is something that women find attractive in men. Not that I'd cultivate this image just to pick up women but the idea that you can raise above the traditional homo jibes, be a decent person and respect people for who they are is a positive trait in any warp of life.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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romangod

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Mr.Positive said:
So you think that this is a red flag then..

I don't think she's there to be trendy, she is from a small town in the midwest. She seems like the type of gal you could introduce to your parents. It just doesn't fit her, the whole gay thing.

I don't know, Mr. P. Something is rotten in the state of Denmark. There's something here that is setting off alarms but I just can't put my finger on it.

Why is she rooming with gay men instead of other women? That might be a good place to start. Good luck and keep us updated.


Cheers!
 

Mr.Positive

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romangod said:
Why is she rooming with gay men instead of other women? That might be a good place to start. Good luck and keep us updated.


Cheers!
Well, now that I think about it, she did mention she enjoyed going to gay bars with her girlfriends because they can dance, have fun, without getting hit on constantly.

Perhaps, she has gay roommates for that same reason. Cleanliness, and the security of having men around, without the worry of any of them pursuing her.
 

Mr.Positive

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JCB said:
It's just a different chord on the sexual scale. Just speak to the gay guys as you'd speak to anyone else. If you respect them there'll respect you back and if they don't you gave them a shot. If you went into her house with an open mind you could even meet three new friends ;)

I've found that having an open minded attitude to all different types of people and especially gay guys is something that women find attractive in men. Not that I'd cultivate this image just to pick up women but the idea that you can raise above the traditional homo jibes, be a decent person and respect people for who they are is a positive trait in any warp of life.
JCB, I hear ya, and I treat all folks with respect. However, I've accidentally walked into a gay bar once, and it was very uncomfortable, and I quickly left.

I've also had a gay guy stare at me in the gym showers, at lot of gay guys are too brazzen, and should respect boundaries as well too.
 

kingsam

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Mr.Positive said:
No disrespect to any gay people reading this.
HAHA :crackup:
i doubt gay men will be on sosuave...!

Mr.Positive said:
Perhaps, she has gay roommates for that same reason. Cleanliness, and the security of having men around, without the worry of any of them pursuing her.
this^

and...
a lot of men are essentially chicks-with-d1cks
see
http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2008/jun/16/neuroscience.psychology
women talk to gay men (not all but a lot if not most) like they talk to another woman, so just another type of girlfriend
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Scaramouche

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Dear Roman God,
"I don't know, Mr. P. Something is rotten in the state of Denmark. There's something here that is setting off alarms but I just can't put my finger on it."Yes I agree,someone is playing with the truth here....If this is the situation,then if there are three Horses Hoofs,one at least is AC-DC and one has HIV...He Should get out now.
 

Phat

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I know a gay guy who ****s every girl he hangs out with...
 

Jitterbug

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Phat said:
I know a gay guy who ****s every girl he hangs out with...
Friction is friction.

Every girl I know who hangs out with gay guys has slept with at least one of them, just out of "curiosity" - according to them.
 

SBW

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Jitterbug said:
Every girl I know who hangs out with gay guys has slept with at least one of them, just out of "curiosity" - according to them.
Equally IME, plenty gay guys are not exclusively gay and will go with anything they can get.

Also IME, quite a number of "straight" women with largely gay social circles have eventually turned out to either have significant personal issues about sex or are in some sort of transition/denial/curosity stage before coming out as fully lesbian or bi.
 

Guoy Darko

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Jitterbug said:
Friction is friction.

Every girl I know who hangs out with gay guys has slept with at least one of them, just out of "curiosity" - according to them.
Every gay guy I know hurls about the thought of having to touch a vagina. Maybe here gay guys are really gay and in your area they're not?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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