"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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she feels guilty around me

bukowski_merit

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talking to girl last night that i've been messing with for about 3 months...

she broke up with her boyfriend (of 5 years) to be with me (she more or less didn't want to cheat - and had told me that she was going to break up with him anyway because there was nothing there anymore.)

we've been dating off and on since (mostly a weekend fling thing)

she's been acting strange lately around me though... so when i confronted her - she told me that her ex sent her this long email about how he can't live without her and how he "cry's himself to sleep" every night; she read some other stuff from it and even i felt bad for the guy...

so she went on to explain, she feels guilty whenever she's around me now...

i know how to change most emotions... but for the life of me cannot figure out how to make her not feel guilt around me now...
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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magickarl

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I just went through something similar to this man.

I was banging my brothers ex-girlfriend, and she had complaints of feeling guilty. It started turning sour, and we broke up. If you get a feeling in your gut that its heading south, bail out.

The woman had been in a relationship with the guy for 5 years and wanted to scope out the market. She didn't want to be labeled a cheater though, so she broke up with him to see another guy. Now that shes had a look, she is basking in the attention she believes she "deserved" from her ex, and is looking for an easy out to go back to him without hurting your feelings.

Do yourself a favor and break up with HER. Tell her that you cannot be with a woman who isn't capable of feeling good around you. If she complains, tell her that it isn't her, it's you.
 

bukowski_merit

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magickarl said:
I just went through something similar to this man.

I was banging my brothers ex-girlfriend, and she had complaints of feeling guilty. It started turning sour, and we broke up. If you get a feeling in your gut that its heading south, bail out.

The woman had been in a relationship with the guy for 5 years and wanted to scope out the market. She didn't want to be labeled a cheater though, so she broke up with him to see another guy. Now that shes had a look, she is basking in the attention she believes she "deserved" from her ex, and is looking for an easy out to go back to him without hurting your feelings.

Do yourself a favor and break up with HER. Tell her that you cannot be with a woman who isn't capable of feeling good around you. If she complains, tell her that it isn't her, it's you.
I told her almost the exact thing last night... that i cannot be with a woman that isn't capable of feeling happiness with me. but she said she would be able to blahzay blah time...

it's not such a big deal... being that i've been doing this lifestyle for many years - i do have other plates to spin... i've just been in a lot of situations, but never had to consider dealing with a girl who felt guilt around me (other than a one-night stand who i accidently fall asleep with and wake up to that.)

i also can't really break up with her, since we're not anything... we just meet up and have sex most weekends...
 
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