She Ended it with her bf...now what?

[sargent158]

hey guys, so im with this girl, i've been talkin to her, the only problem is that, she had a bf, she would always tell me how much she hates being with him and how she feel disgusted when she is around him. Throughout the time that we've been talking she had told me she loved me, saying she wishes she was my gf all of that. the thing is she just broke up with her bf, she's been with him 3 years, thats 3 yrs not being single, so now she ended it and i dont wanna rush in to things, and im down to wait it out, but if she's single that means she could be with who ever she likes, so its like damn i dont wanna be taken as a fool, so i dont know if i should bring it up, like should i be like 'u know now that ur single and we're still talking would i be able to trust you not getting with anyone else', idk, what can i say so i dont sound like a ****?lol

 

[reset]

f'ing hell. This is the same thing that happened to me recently. The whole monkey branch thing is such a pain. Their emotions are all over the place.

At least you don't work with her. "right"?

 

[sargent158]

ahhh....about that....i sort of do work with her :/

 

[reset]

Sorry to hear that.

Standard repsonse would be get other girls so you aren't so focused on HER... that way you'll think straight. I wish I had done that.

When something goes wrong with a girl and you work together, it's not always fun.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

This thread sounds eerily similar to another recent thread in a very scary way. :nervous:

 

[DJDamage]

i dont wanna rush in to things, and im down to wait it out, but if she's single that means she could be with who ever she likes

Your hopes of hooking up should not be tied to one girl. There should be plenty of other girls you should be pursuing.

Remember this girl just broke up with her bf, which could mean she is either looking for a rebound or not. One of the way to handle this is not to worry about the outcome. Ask her out and don't bank on it that she would come around and want anything more then a short fling. Either way you should be going after other girls in case this doesn't work out, otherwise you will be digging yourself a hole.

Throughout the time that we've been talking she had told me she loved me, saying she wishes she was my gf all of that

Don't read too much into this, she could have said this to you to keep you around so when her boyfriend is not around you are the guy she can get attention from. This is typical behaviour of many young women who do this without realising they are stringing guys along.

 

[sargent158]

yeah i kno reset thanx, girls are so confusing sometimes

 

[sargent158]

Your hopes of hooking up should not be tied to one girl. There should be plenty of other girls you should be pursuing.

Remember this girl just broke up with her bf, which could mean she is either looking for a rebound or not. One of the way to handle this is not to worry about the outcome. Ask her out and don't bank on it that she would come around and want anything more then a short fling. Either way you should be going after other girls in case this doesn't work out, otherwise you will be digging yourself a hole.



Don't read too much into this, she could have said this to you to keep you around so when her boyfriend is not around you are the guy she can get attention from. This is typical behaviour of many young women who do this without realising they are stringing guys along.

holy ****, that was on point, thank you, ur absolutely right!

 

[Bible_Belt]

Throughout the time that we've been talking she had told me she loved me, saying she wishes she was my gf all of that.

Then she had better prove it. If you are talking in person, kiss her right then and there. If not, do it asap.

 

[reset]

Yeah I should have made a move, but in trying to get me to make a move she kept trying to make me jealous, which pissed me off so I never made the move. I wasn't going to make the move until she stopped trying to make me jealous. Which never happened. I wanted way more emotionally from her too early on.

Yes I'm 31 years old.

 

[tsmith2334]

I was in a very similar situation. The girl broke up with her (abusive) boyfriend and I was thrilled. I asked her out a couple weeks later and she said she wanted to be with me but she needed more time. I'm not sure how sincere she was but I didn't push things. We dated, but everything fizzled before we ever got the chance to become "official". It sucked pretty bad.

I'm not saying that will happen to you, I'm just more cautious now... ESPECIALLY with girls who just recently broke up with somebody.

 

[reset]

Yeah I was so invested in this chick dumping her boyfriend. She did it, I got the thing I had been OBSESSED with for months.... I couldn't take it. I wanted it so bad that when it finally came I wasn't able to deal with it like an adult.

And I was doing that while she was going through all her bs emotionally, when I should have led. But sometimes you learn, like tsmith came to learn.

And of course I had to work with her after humiliating myself, going through lots of games and manipulation on her part.

I think women at work are good for flirting and that's it. But that's just me.

 

[sargent158]

Yeah I was so invested in this chick dumping her boyfriend. She did it, I got the thing I had been OBSESSED with for months.... I couldn't take it. I wanted it so bad that when it finally came I wasn't able to deal with it like an adult.

And I was doing that while she was going through all her bs emotionally, when I should have led. But sometimes you learn, like tsmith came to learn.

And of course I had to work with her after humiliating myself, going through lots of games and manipulation on her part.

I think women at work are good for flirting and that's it. But that's just me.

ur absolutely right, im going to see her tonight, should i talk to her like str8 up and tell her how i feel, or should i just play it cool and just act like everything is cool?

 

[reset]

I can't tell you what to do. I don't think you should even be doing this at all because you work together.

If I had to do it again I wouldn't have gone AFC, I would have gotten her alone and kissed her without saying stuff about the way I feel FIRST. But that was my situation.

 

[scottfall]

If I had to do it again I wouldn't have gone AFC, I would have gotten her alone and kissed her without saying stuff about the way I feel FIRST. But that was my situation.

I agree with this. Let your actions do the talking. Ask her if she wants to go out for drinks.. then make some moves on her, let her know your interested.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

ur absolutely right, im going to see her tonight, should i talk to her like str8 up and tell her how i feel, or should i just play it cool and just act like everything is cool?

Since you're new to the forum I suggest looking up some threads created by My Name Is Nobody. He's just gone through this and learned some tough lessons. It would be really painful to watch this play through again.

 

[reset]

It won't play through again on this end. :woo:

 

[KontrollerX]

Don't even bother with it man.

You'll just end up becoming the rebound guy and once her emotions settle she'll begin looking for what she really wants and because you got her in an emotionally fvcked up state she'll judge that its not gonna be you.

 

[reset]

Don't even bother with it man.

You'll just end up becoming the rebound guy and once her emotions settle she'll begin looking for what she really wants and because you got her in an emotionally fvcked up state she'll judge that its not gonna be you.

Yeah and it helps to know this, because I've taken the fact I didn't end up being a "successful rebound guy" (there's a ridiculous term) like it was all my fault. In reality, a chick straight out of a four year relationship probably isn't going to emotionally ready for anything serious, even if they try to give you that impression.

 

[sargent158]

Yeah and it helps to know this, because I've taken the fact I didn't end up being a "successful rebound guy" (there's a ridiculous term) like it was all my fault. In reality, a chick straight out of a four year relationship probably isn't going to emotionally ready for anything serious, even if they try to give you that impression.

damn i really hope this girl didnt suck so much lol, but i guess what ima do is just not give it that much thought, or atleast try. :/